How did you do it? (Early Months)

Jackie K

I don't know where to start this post, except, this whole twin's thing is SO HARD! They're pretty good all day, but come 4pm until 3am, they're cranky and just don't want to sleep. I get about 1 hour of sleep, then up for 2 hours, then 1 again, and so on. We also just moved them to their own room, which is at the other end of the house, granted not a big house, but a lot further then the PNP in our room..lol And now that they're in their own room, they're next to my daughter, so we all start our day at 6, and my daughter doesn't nap. It's so difficult not getting a break...ever.

I'm just so exhausted. I know I'm going to look back at this time, forget all the sleepless nights and wish I had my little babies back. But right now it's just so hard!

When does it start to get better?? I'm not even asking them to STTN (although, that would be nice :-P), just sleep a little longer then 3 hour stretches. I guess I have to get them on the same schedule too, huh? 

Can you tell we had a really crappy night last night? lol Thanks for listening

FaeryStarGazer

It got better for us at 11w. That was the first time Lilly slept 6hrs straight. Of course, Molly didn't sleep all the way, but dealing with one baby was waaay easier than two! Molly eventually did sleep through at almost 13w. How does your daughter not nap? She is 2? Did you drop her nap or does she not sleep bc of the babies?  And you absolutley have to get them on the same routine. They don't have to have a schedule per se, but feed them both at the same time, change their butts at the same time...

Jackie K

My daughter dropped her nap at 18 months old. If I put her in her crib to nap, she'd try to climb out (head first), and I just felt it wasn't worth the risk (and if I moved her to a bed, she wasn't contained, so she wasn't going to stay). She doesn't get cranky during the day, and goes to bed at 6:30, but she's exhausting, to say the least.

When one wakes up to eat, do you just wake the other up? I know with my daughter, I always heard "never wake a sleeping baby"..but I guess with 2, it's a completely different story. Do you do the same at night? Wake one when the other gets up? And, stupid question, how do you feed them at the same time? Put them in their boppy's?

Thank you so much for your help/advice

FaeryStarGazer

Ah, she's a crib diver! I can't even imagine a 630 bed time- my kids wouldn't ever see their dad :-P I bet you're tired, a toddler who no longer naps and infant twins? That is a straight recipe for exhaustion. 

We would wake to feed- it only took a few days of doing this though until they were waking at the same time on their own. We would wake them if they hadn't woken up on their own. We gave them 3-4 hrs. If Molly woke at 12am, H & I both got up. He changed both diapers while I put together bottles. We each held a baby and gave her a bottle. Burps, and back to bed. If one woke again at 2am or so, we let them fuss a bit. If the fussing turned into full on screaming, then we would go to them, but a lot of the time, they would fuss it out and go back to sleep. We would only feed again after 3am- they were on a three or four hour feeding routine. My husband helped out at night, so we didn't need to prop a bottle, but you could if your H won't help out. Do you have little papasan seats? I used those to put a baby in and prop during the day when I was alone

Jackie K

As much as the no nap stinks, the 6:30 bedtime is GREAT! lol

I will do what you said about the eating/sleeping routine. We have got to get on a better routine, hey, we just need to get into some type of routine all together! I was ALL ABOUT routine with my daughter..but with 2 newborns and a toddler I feel like it's just survival mode...lol

I thought it would be a waste for both of us to be up at night, but maybe it's worth a shot. Change, eat, and back to bed quicker...hopefully!

thanks again, you have NO IDEA how much I appreciate your help! 

Shamrock2003

It is hard, isn't it?! The first two months were awful for me...experiencing the same things you are experiencing....all day long...by yourself....with crying babies and no way to figure out what the heck they want. I just tried to make it from one feeding to the next...it was pure survival...I didn't enjoy most of it and I feel guilty about that.

It all turned around for me right before they turned 2 months old...they started smiling at me....I caught those first smiles on camera and it reminds me of all the hard work and the joy they are now.

I heard "don't wake a sleeping baby, too"...but with twins, we woke one up when the other woke up...otherwise you would never stop feeding...you would never catch up.

Also, at about 2 months I started getting really organized and more clear-headed...I started a log of when they slept, woke up, played, ate, got cranky...I started to notice a trend and then I was able to anticipate what they were going to need before they started crying.

I never mastered the art of feeding them at the same time...there are some MoMs on this board that did so hopefully they will give some insight. My girls just never cooperated for me to feed at the same time.

It is exhausting and it will get better! You really just have to "tough it out"...I used to get so mad at my DH when he would say that...but it was true..."power through it" he would say.

Our vibrating bouncers worked wonders for us in getting them to stay relaxed and go to sleep. We were able to get them to sleep in their cribs at about 4 months.

You'll get lots of support here so keep asking ?s!!

shady06

I could have written this post myself yesterday...and today if last night hadn't gone reasonably well.  It IS so exhausting.  I've never done anything this challenging in my life.  I don't have great suggestions but wanted to try to give you some support and let you know that you are not alone...this is VERY, VERY hard especially when you have a toddler too.  W'm still figuring it all out too but the things I have found that worked are:

1)  Feed them at the same time, change them at the same time, etc.  Screw letting them sleep--YOU need some sleep too.  I am nursing and do my best tandem nurse them at each feeding.  It is hard and takes a while sometimes but worth it.  My biggest challenge is figuring out how to burp both of them when they are both screaming and ready for burps--maybe I will post about that to see if anyone has suggestions.

2)  My DH and I tag team the kids when everyone is home.  One of us will deal with the twins (or dinner, dishes, etc. if they are sleeping) and the other will handle DS.  Our DS doesn't go to bed until 8pm so we have a longer stretch with all of the kids around.

3)  At night, DH helps with the 10pm/11pm feeding and the 4am/5am feeding.  By "help" I mean that he is on call to bring the babies to me and then burp them as each one finishes.  This makes things go a lot faster to have an extra set of hands.  I have to do the 1am/2am feeding myself.  This feeding sucks!

I keep telling myself that this is a stage that is challening and to try to think of it in a positive light because these are the last babies we will be having.  That usually gives me a positive boost of energy--and then I succumb to pure exhaustion moments later!  Hang in there...

VCMCG

The first 8 weeks were really hard for me-there was no real schedule yet, but once they started to hit 10 weeks or so, I began to see a little schedule with them.  They recently began sleeping through the night (about 2 weeks ago) and it is a TON better. 

Waking them to feed is helpful-especially if you know they both are going to need to eat-so to grab a little bit of sleep for yourself, I also recommend waking at the same time, or at least wake one right after you feed the other.  I have fed both at the same time-I use boppies or prop pillows on my knees and feed them on my bed, with me leaning against the wall.  I burp both over each shoulder or one on the shoulder and the other over my knee, if that makes sense.  If you see that one is starting to sleep longer, I'd let that one sleep-for me one began to STTN a few days before the other-and it wasn't worth it to wake the sleeping baby when he could get through to 5 or 6 am.

As for DD, my DD is very active (but does nao, so that helps me), but when she is too much I strap her in a high chair and sit next to her while I feed a baby, eat lunch, pump, or whatever.  I don;t know if you do Netflix, but they have the "watch instantly" and I'll put on Dora, Caillou, or some other kid show when I need her to be contained.  (I know it's not the best to plop her in front of the TV or computer, but it helps me get everyone else taken care of too).  My DS doesn't nap, but he is older and generally less high maintenance than DD (although he has his moments), btu is generally helpful to me.

And coffee is my friend, and in desperation when I need everyone to nao and some quiet time, I may go for a ride in the car-at least I can generally get everyone contained and quiet in the car-and I can get a drive through Dunkin Donuts coffee !

Good luck!

bunny731

One day at a time.

And so far that "ooh I miss the baby stage" never has entered my mind. It was freakin' hard and I never want to revisit it. But it does get easier. When they started sleeping through the night 10-11 weeks. But there are still hard days (like when you are sick) that I reflect what would it be like to not have been thrown in the deep end and had one baby at a time?

I love my babies, but it is hard work.

mskah

I totally remember these days...well, I remember the feeling of exhaustion.  But outside of that I really don't remember much, it is such a blur - I literally think I was running on auto.  Unfortunately for me, my hubbie traveled - so I was by myself during the week with two colicky babies.  It was brutal.  I literally remember calling the doctor and leaving a message in tears because I just couldn't handle it and didn't know what to do.  Trust me when I say it does get better!!!  Like all the previous posters suggest...up until about 3 months I would wake them and feed them both at the same time (at night this meant feeding one, and then immediately feeding the other - it was too hard to load them in to a bouncy to do the feedings in the middle of the night).  I know it is hard, but during the day try to sleep as much as you can - even a half hour helps.  It is hard because we are programmed to be up during the day and feel like we should be doing chores, etc. while they are sleeping, but honestly screw it.  Do the bare minimum and get your sleep - you will be so much happier AND you actually may be able to remember your early months as opposed to me.  And my final suggestion, and I wish I would have done this, if you can afford it - consider a night nanny one or two nights a week.  If you could get even just one good night of sleep it would help.  Good luck - it will be better soon. 

lutzcowgirlie

Boy, do I know what you're feeling. I was doing the same thing - new babies and a non-napping toddler (mine was 2 when the babies arrived). It was the most challenging, exhausting months of my life. I really feel in some ways that I missed their first three months because I was just trying to survive. I hardly remember anything - it was all diapers and feedings and juggling needs.

 

The pps gave you some great suggestions. It really is important to get them on the same schedule for your sanity. I really hope that they start sleeping for you. Mine were stubborn about the sleep - I'm just now getting them to go to bed at 7 and sleep until 7 at 13 1/2 months! But I will say that once it spaced to even 4 hours in a row, it was so much easier to deal.

 

Does your DH help out at night? Mine didn't help at all with our first - I did all the nighttime care. He thought he'd get the same deal with these two since I was nursing ("I can't nurse them, so why do I need to be up?") but having someone to change diapers and soothe and put back down does make a world of difference. If he isn't helping yet he needs to start!

 

It will get better! It was truly one of the hardest times in my life. Each day felt like an eternity and I just didn't know if I could do it. But I did, and you can too!

VCMCG

Oh, and DD was waking up early when the babies woke in the morning-and in the middle of the night when she heard them cry (it sucked!).  We put a white noise machine in her room which helped a ton-now she wakes at her normal 7 a.m.-ish time.  We used our monitor set on a different channel for the "white noise" and that is working so far.

cands

6 or 7 weeks was the absolute low point for me, so I have a lot of sympathy for where you are now.  It didn't improve dramatically at any point, but just slowly and steadily got better.  Best of luck to you.

macchiatto

Weeks 4-7 were pretty rough (well, weeks 0-7, really!) and then it slowly started to get better. it's still tough but more manageable .. except weeks like this week when they'rea pparently on a nap strike!
the pp's already suggested everything I would say, but I would definitely try to get them on the same schedule! I found that far less exhausting. Hang in there and best of luck!

MelZull

From the beginning we always feed the girls at the same time every three hours even if it means waking them while napping. They were always good eaters so our pedi gave us the ok to let them sleep at night until they woke on their own. However, at night when one would wake hungry, we always woke the other. We gave them their "last" bottle around 10pm and after that they slept about 4 hours the first month and slowly as the weeks went on they would sleep longer. Weeks 6 - 8 (give or take) were really rough. The girls were extremely fussy in the evenings and what made it even worse was my DH works evenings so I had them by myself every night and had the worst time trying to console them, that was when I called friends to come help. Around 9 weeks was when we switched their last bottle to 7 instead of 10. When we first did this they did wake up in the middle of the night hungry, but we only gave them a small feeding (a few ounces less then a normal day bottle). Also, we stopped changing their diapers with this feeding which kept them from waking fully. Around 11 weeks they started sleeping from 8pm until 6 am. Every now and then they will wake fussy so we make them a 2 oz bottle without taking them out of their crib.?

Good luck! Each week really does get better and once they start smiling for you those middle of the nights don't seem so bad when you get a big smile to go along with it.?