Anyone else have an alcoholic parent?

turtlegirl115

My mom is an alcoholic and has been for a long time. She was a "functioning alcoholic" til about 3 years ago. She lost her job and it's been downhill ever since. She keeps talking about getting sober for her first grandchild but I really haven't seen any progress at all so I don't have my hopes up or anything. However, I did think she'd manage to stay halfway sober this close to my delivery so that she could be there. She knows as well as all my family members know that she is not allowed anywhere near me if she is drunk during my L & D. So long story short...I found out that last Thursday she got a DUI. Apparently her blood alcohol level was so high (.28+) that instead of taking her to jail they took her to the hospital to detox because it would have been dangerous to send her to jail first. I'm just furious because if I would have had the baby that night, she would have missed it! I am just tired of being let down all the time and thought she'd step up for once.

 Just wondering if anyone else is dealing with this as well. I hope not for your sake b/c it SUCKS. Luckily, I have wonderful grandparents, aunts/uncles, and friends to help me!

SouthernBellelovesaYankee

My real dad does drugs, it's just so disapointing.

Good luck!

abizzzle

My dad was an alcoholic and he died a couple years ago..

My mom is struggling right now too though.. A couple months ago she admitted she had a problem and "detoxed" at her friends house.. Two weeks after this detox, she started drinking again.. I confronted her and told her she was getting bad again and I got the silent treatment for a week. Since then, the amount she drinks has increasingly got worse. The second she gets home, she drinks and then continues this through the night. She goes through multiple bottles a night.. Last night I actually confronted her again. I'm not sure if this will encourage her to change, but she could see how upset I was...

She also smokes.. A few months ago she claimed she would never smoke or drink around my child. I live with my mom and at the rate she is going, this will never happen.. I have seriously been contemplating how I could manage if I were to move out.. 

I definitely understand where you are coming from..

Loops925

i'm so sorry to hear that. my dad was an alcoholic but he's been good for a few years now. it was so hard seeing him drunk all the time though, so i know what you're going through.

maybe when your baby is born she'll get excited and happy and finally decides to try to get sober for good.

 

nanantato

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, my dad is a recovering alcholic and he used to beat us senseless when we were kids. If your mom is the way she is right now, she won't change until she decides to. I'm so sorry but you must come to the realization that she may not be there for your delivery. Although its very painful and sad, I totally understand your situation.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

nachocheeze

First off I just want to say I'm sorry and I can't imagine how upsetting that situation must be for you.  My parents are not alcoholics but I have had experiences with other family members and drug abuse. 

Unfortunately it's very rare that alcoholics will get sober for the benefit of someone else.  As much as you may want your mom to do it for you or your baby, the only way she will get and stay sober is if she decides to do it for herself and her own life first.  From your post it sounds like you have a great support system outside your mom (I know it's not the same) but hopefully they can provide you with lots of love and support during this time.  Addicts can be very manipulative and now that you're going to be the parent I think you're doing the right thing by protecting yourself and your baby from her reckless behavior.  I really hope she decides to get help and have the privilege of being part of her daughter and grandbaby's life.

kellers83

Wow we're sisters, except not one but both of my parents are/were alcoholics.  My dad died a few years ago because of it.  I thought that my mom might get her act together for her first grandchild too, but sure enough she can't control it.  She did well for a few weeks there, now it's back to her laying around in pjs in her room all day.  And those nearest to me know to keep her away from me on the big day too.   Hang in there, I feel for ya!

Hi725

My mother is an alcoholic with bipolar disorder. I got tired of the disappointments a very long time ago. We have not spoken in almost 4 years, and I'm totally fine with that. I'm sorry you are going through this. The one word of advice I can give you is when dealing with someone like this is stop expecting things from her. If you expect nothing, she can't let you down anymore.

kimsy

My dad is a recovered alcoholic. He stopped drinking altogether when I was ten, and after several years of sobriety he will have a beer or two but never like he did when I was a child. I definitely feel for children of alcoholics--I remember how different my life was even when I was that young and feel incredibly blessed that my dad has seen the light. We have a very close relationship now and I think I would have zero relationship with him if he had not changed.

I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but I hope one day you will have the same turnaround with your mom. 

turtlegirl115

I just wanted to thank you guys for your support. I'm sad to hear that there are many of you just like me but it helps to know that others understand what I'm dealing with.