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Secondary IF
Trying for #2 frustrations
I just posted this on a different board and was given the suggestion to post it here. My DD is 20 months and I had no problem conceiving her.. I wanted to start TTC for # 2 when she was one, but we moved and other things came up, so we had to wait. We decided to start in Feb. We did, it worked, but it was a chemical :-( I had BFP on 3/10 and negative blood work 3/13 and I have not started bleeding yet. Went back last week for more blood work and no surprised it was neg. I am extremely frustrated b/c the doc won't even see me until its been at least another month. I am in my mid-30's and do not want this to drag on. This is not how I planned it!
We DID get pregnant the first cycle we tried, which is a huge plus. I know chemicals are common, but why hasn't AF come yet!? THAT is my issue right now!!!
It seems people are not as sympathetic to the feelings when you already have a child. Yes, I do, but it doesn't make my want for a baby, my frustrations or my issues any less valid. I have friends who are still TTC #1 so I can't talk to them, DH is supportive but doesn't truly understand how I feel.
Is there anyone else out there who can relate?!
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Re: Trying for #2 frustrations
The valid issue that you need to something to bring on your period. There is a medication for that. Ask for provera which will cause a bleed and after that period realize that you might have 2-3 months of your period not being regular as it was before because a chemical pregnancy does interrupt things for a bit!
Please understand that some of us had more than 3 years of frustration and medication and procedures in order to have #1 so it might sound like you are jumping the gun a bit with your short time of trying for #2. You are right, it doesn't invalidate your feelings or make your desire for another child any less! I hope you don't have to go through the trouble that many of us have but at least you can see a bit of what some of your friends who are having TTTC #1 might feel at this time.
Your best bet right now is to demand more help from you OB. Don't take "wait and see what happens" for an answer.
Good luck to you!
You're right. I have watched several friends and family members go through years and a lot of pain TTC # 1 If anything, my short time of feeling this way makes me that much more aware and sympathetic to what they have been through. They are much stronger than me and I don't know how they did it.
I know that it is hard, and frustrating. I would ask your OB for something to get your period back, and go from there. You can take Provera and that will usually work just fine. From that point, you can begin trying again. I would not get to worried yet about your ability to conceive a second child. It seems as though your body knows what to do, and unfortunately CPs are quite common.
Good luck!
I really want to hear from someone who had a chemical. How long did it take for Af to come? Its seems 27 days is a long time. I read it usually happens within a week.
OK, it can be different for each person. Many people begin bleeding right away. Some take a little while. There is no way to know for certain how your body will react. If you are still concerned I would call the OB again. . If they do not appease you, switch Dr.s.
I have a friend who had 2 chemicals in a row. Had she not been testing early, she would not have known that she was even pg, as she got her period around the right time. You have 2 options:
1. Wait it out
2. Find a Dr. to give you a script for provera
I had 2 chemical pregnancies in a row. It was like a late period the first time, but the second lasted a bit longer (almost 6 wks). So, after the last chemical pregnancy, my period came 28 days later, on schedule. But, everyone reacts differently, especially when your hormones are out of whack. Is your OB following your HCG levels? If your levels are back to zero (or negative) now, then hopefully you will get your cycle back soon.
I'm sorry you are going through this, m/c and c/p are always painful.
HCG was less than 5 pretty much from the beginning, so I'm not why this is taking so long. I know everybody is different. I think if nothing happens by next week at 35 days, I will call the doc again.
It's really sad Hon, but this isn't how any of us planned it.
People aren't as sympathetic when you already have a child. You are absolutely right it doesn't make your issues less valid. In fact, it makes you even more keenly aware of what you are missing not having another child.
Chemicals are common but that doesn't make it less painful when they do happen. I had one last cycle and I started to bleed 4 days after stopping my progesterone suppositories. The ladies are right though. Each of us is different and even m/c's for the same person can be different. Call your Gynae and ask if he can give you anything ( provera ) to bring on your cycle and take it from there.
GL!