bad habits

2terps

At what age do bad habits start to form? DH and I have started to bring one or both of our boys into bed with us when the getting up to soothe (paci, bouce, but not feed) in the middle of the night gets to be a bit much (at times it can be every 15 minutes or so for an hour). I am getting worried about making it a bad habit and am trying to stop it, but it gives us sooo much more sleep so it is hard! Am I really doing bad by my boys? One of mine in particular needs a lot of soothing at night (he sleeps in a bouncy seat in his crib which I am also not really happy about)...thoughts? suggestions?

CaliJenny

They say to start doing a routine arond 3-4 months because that's when they are open to routines and adjust well.  So you have a little time left.  You're still in survival mode right now.  You'll see them start to develop their own routine in the next month.  I was in the same place you are just a month ago.  Then they started STTN (I'm still awed by this) and problems solved themselves.  They just worked it out themselves.  Now they sleep in their cribs all night.  For now do what you need to do for everyone to get some sleep. 

I just want to say good luck and trust me, it does get better.

CaliJenny

btw, DD is sleeping in our bed right now compliments of my husband.  Not because she's fussing but because he misses sleeping with them and he wanted to sleep with each of them one more time before we HAVE to leave them in their cribs for fear of bad habits. 

LoveEeyore

I don't think you're doing "bad" by your children, at all. I think it's worlds better than having a 10 week old CIO!!!  I coslept with DD (on purpose!) full time for 6 months and she transitioned to the crib just fine.  She is a happy, cuddly, smart, affectionate toddler now. 

Your health and sanity count for something, too.  I think 3-4 months is fine for starting a routine and in the mean time, until you get there, maybe experiment with cluster feeding and dream feeding to see if it helps them sleep longer.  Good luck!!

gymrat

I'd also say right around 4 mos., so you have some time. Beware if you start a bad habit after you've established a routine. My daughter was sick and teething a couple of weeks ago and one night of holding/rocking for hours and bringing her to bed with us gave us a 1-2 wks of getting her back on track.

Of course there's nothing you can do but break the routine when your child is sick or teething but man was it hard to get her to forget that one night of extra cuddles.

lutzcowgirlie

I suggest the book or DVD Happiest Baby on the Block. He talks about just this situation - the first three months (soothing/survival/habits). Basically, he says that the first three months are like the 4th trimester. You've taken baby out of a place where he/she was held, fed, and soothed 24/7 and then people expect them to just be calm and lay in a big empty crib. He advocates holding, swaddling, rocking - whatever it takes to keep them happy those first three months. You can't start a bad habit yet. They just need that extra attention. Good for you for giving it to them!