Baby name drama (vent)

Fall2009Mom

Hi Ladies!

Allow me to vent. Our little girl is due in August. I am the only child, so of course she will be my parents' first grandchild. My dad and I are really close, and I was named after him. His name is Carl Alexander. My name is Carleetha Alexandria. For a while, my husband and I thought about naming our baby Carla Alexis.

On the way back from our babymoon, I glanced at more baby names and fell in LOVE with the name Sydney. Our last name starts with an S, and I thought Sydney Simone S****, would be a beautiful name. My husband likes it too. Now my dad is really hurt by the name change, and says that he will "call the baby Carla no matter what her name is." (Grrr...)

My husband says we should wait until the baby gets here to see which name fits her.

What do you ladies think? I'd like some input.

AllThatGlitters101

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

still_a_bride

Maybe you can use Sydney Alexis or Sydney Alexandria so that you are using the name that YOU like and still naming her after your father (and I think those are pretty names too!).  I can kind of understand him being hurt at the name change, but it's your daughter and honestly, I think that Carla is a little too close to your first name and could be confusing.  I vote for a compromise, but definitely wouldn't blame you for sticking to Sydney Simone, it's cute!  I hope it works out. :-)

EastCoastBride

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

Ditto this. It's one thing if you really wanted to continue the tradition, but when it's forced/ pressured upon people, it ticks me off and I absolutely see it as selfish. 

Traditions are nice and have their place, but they don't HAVE to be followed.  We got a lot of grief from my IL's about not following tradition and it still pisses me off.  OUR kid = OUR choice.  If we like the name, that is all that matters.  Us liking our kids name is more important than following "tradition". 

Tradition should just not be forced on people and you should n't be made to feel guilty for wanting to do your own thing.

 

Fall2009Mom

Thanks Bumpies! I appreciate it. Just needed a reality check.  I love my father dearly, but it's ultimately up to DH and myself. I will stick to my guns and keep Sydney Simone.

I COMPLETELY agree with the comment about tradition being forced on people.  He'll just have to get over it.

 

CapitolBaby

I can see how it would be a tough decision with the family history, but my advice would be go with what your heart tells you, and make NO apologies for it!  This is your baby!  You and your hubby were the only ones involved when your baby was concieved, and you should be the only ones to make decisions for the baby. 

 Think about it - if you give in to what your parents want and put your own wants second, then you are basically opening the door to having your parents tell you what else do to with your baby down the road, you know?  The level of involvement you give them now will pave the road to the future.  Also, do you want to put the pressure on your baby to continue that tradition?  In a couple dozen years, the pressure on your baby would be even GREATER, because of the 3 generations of similar names!  Personally, it would be very difficult for me to break a 3 generation tradition in my family, even if I didn't like the idea, you know?

I think both names are beautiful, and you won't go wrong either way.  I just always shy away from letting others make my decisions.  Anytime in my life I've let me decisions be influenced by others (even my own parents), I've always regreted it.  I'm so stubborn, actually, that I would probably say no just because I was told what to do (even if I wanted to do it). LOL

Your hubby has a good point in waiting until you meet her to name her, however - it will be SUCH an emotional time for you, and if your dad is already calling her Carla in the delivery room , that could end up a very difficult situation to reverse.

I dont know.. just my 2 cents. 

Emie28

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

I agree with this. It is your child and you can name her whatever you like. I can't believe a grown man would act like that it. It sort of reminds me of how my 3rd graders act. Did he stomp his foot and pout out his lip as well?

Fall2009Mom

LOL. Come to think of it. He basically threw a temper tantrum when I told him about the name change.  You're right CapitolBaby, "The level of involvement you give them now will pave the road to the future." That is so true.

PunkyBooster

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

I have to agree! Your dad needs to be more respectful. He is being very childish!

Soon2BMrsN

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

This.  Also, your post just solidifies my confidence in the fact that we are not telling anyone his name until birth.  I doubt your dad would have said anything after he saw/met her.  It's a lot harder to criticize a name once it's already been given, IMO.

dpdw

My mom also disliked the name we chose for DS & before he was born said that she would just call him another name.  Once DS was born she called him by the name we gave him & never once complained about it.  It's easy to say you don't like a name before you are holding that little person in your arms.  Hopefully your dad will come around too.

beckys96

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

I totally agree.  I mean this is your kid!  I like the name you picked better!

austenreader85

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

I agree, but my FIL is also expecting another namesake and we have no idea how to tell him.  I think we're just going to wait until the baby arrives and announce its name.  Surely he will get over it, its his grandchild!  I'm sure your father will come around.

newportbride715

AllThatGlitters101:

I think your dad needs to get over it. He already had one kid named after him; demanding another is selfish.

Seriously! Name the baby whatever you want. Your Dad has no say whatsoever.

JWJW2

Ok, I absolutely LOVE both names, so you can't go wrong.  Just remember that this is your child.  If you went with the name your Dad wanted just to please him, you'd be frustrated every time you called your daughter by that name.  You don't want that.  I like your ending thoughts of waiting until your baby girl is born and see what she looks like.  If you choose the name your Dad wants, it'll because that's the name you both felt to be suited best for her, not because you felt pressured.  Your Dad can get over this, but I don't think you could if you named her something you really didn't want to.  Good luck.