Where do people get the energy....

marrymemylove

to have more than 1 child at home full time?

Seriously. I need DS to be out of the house for at least 3-4 hours a day in order to be able to give him enough energy when he's home. If I was working no one would fault that of course because "reasons" get judged. But I need that t ime away from him even if I'm not working. He exhausts me way more than work ever did.

He's up at 7am, he's full on ALL DAY until he is finally persuaded into bed at 9pm or 9:30pm. That is a LONG DAY running full tilt which is what it feels like.

Now he's much easier I can actually get a coffee mid morning and have lunch with him, but its still exhausting.

I think we both enjoy each other much more when I'm not aching for my bed. Flame away.

But as for having TWO or more at home? Unless 1 is perpetually zonked or old enough to look after themselves I can't see it happening and having mummy conscious.

And its not just me. DH was home with DS for a long weekend a few months ago and when I came home he was  ready for the  asylum.  

kevschickee2

you just do it. When danica was born Halee was 17 months old so I am use to having 2 tiny kids together.  I work 3 days a week now so I get out some

shouldbeworkin

I would not have had my kids so close together if I was home with them all the time. 

marrymemylove

I guess what I'm getting at kevs is that *I* currently fall into bed exhausted and pass out in seconds. I can't imagine getting through the day with 2. I get doing what you have to do, sure I had less sleep when DS was smaller, but I also didn't have the cumulative effect of 3 years of exhaustion then.

I don't know whether to bow down and worship your metabolic rate or suspect you're all on some kind of speed :-) Maybe a bit of both? 

JenniC1135

It's not often I agree with you, but yeah, 3 at home all day with me is beyond exhausting.  I don't know where the energy comes from, but it does.  But yeah, some downtime would be nice.  I can't think of anyone I would want to be around 24/7, and yet I have 3 of them pretty much for that timeframe. 

marrymemylove

shouldbeworkin:

I would not have had my kids so close together if I was home with them all the time. 

 

LOL! Yeah, most of DS's peers had siblings born around 2-2.5 years later. Since I was home with him until he was nearly 2, that was just not happening. Coincidence? :-) 

kevschickee2

lol speed would have helped since neither one of my kids stay in bed all night even now at 3 and 20months

lazysusan

I don't know, but I'm about to find out soon....

marrymemylove

I used to flat with a guy at university who used speed. Pity I don't know him anymore or I'd send us all some :-) 

Actually I think he's gone all respectable and works for the Defence Dept.

Back then I simply asked that he keep his habits in his room (otherwise I was implicated and wouldn't be able to be a lawyer).

But he did phenomenal studying at the end of term. That's the kind of energy I need to keep up with DS :-) 

Zenya

I think it's child-dependent.  You wrote last night that you had your SIL come over b/c you felt bad leaving D by himself while you cooked?  I don't feel bad about things like that for a second.  He plays alone or hangs out with me or watches TV. 

He is part of my life but not the center of the household.  And my baby is cool - she just is in the wrap or on the floor or asleep.  

I'm not saying it's easy though.

marrymemylove

I guess I'm saying it isn't just about not being that interested in babies and their (non) activities. Even if I loved babies... I could never survive without that much sleep again off the back of DS's infancy and still less than perfect sleeping.

Man I wish there was a safe drug to solve this. Its the 21st century damnit, we should have one. 

marrymemylove

I think people with easy kids have no clue. And really have no useful comment to make on this issue.

I'm sure I could plonk DS in front of the TV all day if I wanted. I don't do that which is a good thing. As a result of how little tv he watches he likes to watch only with company and discussion. I think that's a sign of intelligence and discernment. I've resorted to TV twice while DH was away, both times for less than 15 mins was he alone. 

ElizabethD

It can actually be easier with two because they're instant-playmates, crack each other up, my 4 year old helps get stuff for me to help with the 2 year old (or to help with all of us -setting the table, getting breakfast out.)

I'm finally, thank God, at the point where OFTEN I can eat my bagel and read a magazine for a little bit in the AM while they play.  It's pure bliss after 4 years of intense parenting!

Kelly Madonna

Exactly why I went back to work PT. SAHM is MUCH harder.

Zenya

marrymemylove:

 As a result of how little tv he watches he likes to watch only with company and discussion. I think that's a sign of intelligence and discernment. I've resorted to TV twice while DH was away, both times for less than 15 mins was he alone. 

I think your MOTY statue can be picked up right next to your prozac.  They should go hand in hand.  

summerbrideDC

Zenya--the thing is, if your child didn't drive you to hate him during his first year of life, he was "easy" and therefore you just can't understand.?

Zenya

summerbrideDC:

Zenya--the thing is, if your child didn't drive you to hate him during his first year of life, he was "easy" and therefore you just can't understand.

Yes.  Easy - and so dumb that he can watch Thomas alone while I take a break!  Oh how I Iong for an intelligent and discerning 2.5 year old.

mommynow

marrymemylove:

As a result of how little tv he watches he likes to watch only with company and discussion. I think that's a sign of intelligence and discernment. I've resorted to TV twice while DH was away, both times for less than 15 mins was he alone. 

I'd like to know what he watched for those 30 minutes and what was discussed.  Was it that episode of Dora when they had to go over the troll bridge and the grumpy old troll asked them to solve that quantum physics riddle??  That WAS pretty deep.  DD and I talked about that for days!

summerbrideDC

LOL

luckyluvr

I'm not trying to start anything, but it sounds like you really need to teach your son to play independently. No child should require 100% of their parents' attention. No person should ever be dependent on others to occupy their time ALL the time. Yes, I'm always in the same room as DS, but he has learned to play by himself for some of the time. We interact and talk, but I don't have to focus all my attention on him. It sounds harsh, but I had to ignore his requests to play some of the time and had to tell him to play by himself.

marrymemylove

No point bothering with the craptalk love-in between deirdre and sarah. Has it occurred to anyone they're in a relationship?

lucky - there is a big differernce between playing independently in the same room or within earshot and being left in what is as quiet as an empty house while I go to a whole other part of the house for 30 mins. I might as well be down the corner for all DS knows. He plays independently just fine but it still ties you down. For people who don't get that, your standards of your own independence sure have slipped. 

 

summerbrideDC

?"it still ties you down."

Ah, the warm-fuzzies about parenting again. ?

And yes, Zenya and I are "in a relationship". ?::gasp!!!:: We're friends. ?And we're laughing at you. ?But wait, I thought she was dead to you. ?Why even bring her up? ?Losing your resolve to ignore her? ?More's the pity for her, I guess.

marrymemylove

Wouldn't surprise me Sarah if you two were the mothers of your little gaybie.

summerbrideDC

So, let me get this straight--because she and I happen to agree on some of our impressions about you and what a wingnut you come across as here on a message board, you've drawn the conclusion that we're actually lesbian lovers??

omg, I love that! ?Our husbands would probably be thrilled. ?Priceless. ?Thank you for making my evening. ?That's the most amusing skip-out-of-the-realm of all logic I've ever heard. ??

marrymemylove

Agreeing is one thing. Tons of people agree with lots of other people on here.The dripping smarm is too much. Just stick your tongue down her throat and get it over.

 

summerbrideDC

OMG, hilarious. ?again, thank you for the entertainment. ?It's interesting that you've linked her to me in a way you can continue to bash, considering you've vowed not to speak to or about her anymore. ?Making her my "lover" is a very neat way to be able to continue to lash out at her without doing it directly. ?

Love it. ?

gracendantho26

Just crate them! That's what I do!

summerbrideDC

LMAO, Grace. ?That's hilarious!

gracendantho26

Well Summer maybe you do not realize how challenging it is to juggle my glass of wine, my two kids and my dog to wrangle them into the crate so that I can Nest....ummm I mean make dinner. It's a real hardship that NONE OF YOU could ever imagine.

GettinNervous

I'd love to know, because I have 2 that are 16-mos apart. On weekends, I am totally exhausted. During the week they go to daycare. Some days, going to work is a break!

Zenya

OMG this thread took quite a turn.  Yes - you figured us out.  Sarah and I are lovers.  God you're smart.

So - to make dinner you have to go to a different part of the house.  Why can't he come with you?  Honestly - I think you make things very complicated for yourself.

Zenya

Also - genuine question (and maybe you can just pretend that my lover asked this so you can get around your shunning me).  But how do you think people managed 50 years ago?  Women at home all day with 5 kids?  It was just a normal thing and life went on.