Explain sleep-training to me

SeaSoul

What's the purpose?  To get DC on a schedule?
Cal gets sleepy between 7-8pm and all I do is nurse him and he's out and we put him down for the night (then he gets up 2-3 times a night to eat).  Is there a reason to add in a bath, songs, etc. or would we only need to do that if he didn't seem to be going to sleep around the same time every night?  Enlighten me, please!

Mrs.Reem

It's so that they learn to soothe themselves to sleep instead of feeding to sleep. It's also so that they stay asleep or when they wake during the night they put themsleves back to sleep again instead of waking you.

SeaSoul

Mrs.Reem:

It's so that they learn to soothe themselves to sleep instead of feeding to sleep. It's also so that they stay asleep or when they wake during the night they put themsleves back to sleep again instead of waking you.

Thanks!  re: soothing vs feeding, I know a lot of people include nursing/bottle in the routine (as suggested by experts, I thought?), so now I'm confused if the purpose is to eliminate this?

re: self-soothing during the night - how do you promote that through a bedtime routine?

Mrs.Reem

A lot of people do, yes. Myself included which was basically me enabling my child to wake me every two hours for months and months.  lol! (YAY me. ugh.)

So yeah you can include a feeding in the bedtime routine BUT you have to make sure it's not the last thing you do. Make sure baby doesn't fall asleep feeding. Otherwise when your baby wakes, they're going to notice you're not there any more and want your company and they'll need some food in order to fall asleep again. (I really had to learn this the hard way. Katen refused and I mean re-fused to lay down drowzy but awake as a small baby.)

By making sure that you have a good routine down, the baby is comforted by knowing what to expect and they begin to feel sleepy on their own because they know after x, x, and x, it's time to sleep. By putting them down awake they gather the skills to soothe themselves instead of you soothing them to sleep. When they wake in the middle of the night they can use those skills instead of needing your help.

So routine is more for calming the child and letting them know when its time to sleep. Putting them to bed awake is more for teaching the self soothing skills.  

SeaSoul

Ah...okay, that all makes sense.  Cal does quite well in bed by himself - we have put him down drowsy a couple of times and he fell asleep on his own.  He also will wake up and just hang out, not cry.  So, maybe he'll do well with sleep training since he's not one to get upset if he is awake by himself.

Mrs.Reem

Can I just say how jealous I am?  LOL!!!   Sounds like he's got it figured out already. Now that's awesome!

SeaSoul

Wellll...if we leave him long enough he will fuss because he wants to eat.  And I don't think he'll actually go back to sleep by himsef.  But generally speaking, he's not one to freak out just because awake and alone, so I guess we've got that going for us!

MNheidi

Sounds like you have a good sleeper.  As for a schedule, we didn't really saw patterns at your dc's age but an actual schedule didn't start until 8 mos or so (naps at 9 and 1, meals at certain times). 

LucyPevensie

You don't have to sleep train.  Especially if you're doing fine without it.  If it ain't broke....  Different things work for different families.  If you find yourself at a point where what you are doing is no longer working well for your family - there are a number of different techniques and schools of thought for sleep training.  Some include crying (Ferber, etc.) and some don't (no cry sleep solution .. dr. sears baby sleep book.)   But again - if you feel fine with the routine (or lack thereof) that you have now - there are no rules that say you must sleep train.  There are lots of books .. some are good ... some are not so good.  But if you decide you need to know more - there is no shortage of info and advice out there, that's for sure! 

LisaMarisa

I didnt think we needed sleep training either, we were doing fine without it.  Then he went through a growth spurt and started waking more at night, now he is waking just for the heck of it and my "good" baby needs sleep training.  This just happened over the last week or so, so like Lucy said, maybe you dont need it now but you could re-evaluate later.  I just wanted to throw another idea out there, The Baby Whisperer seems to be between Ferber and Dr. Sears.  You arent leaving baby to cry but you are teaching them to self soothe.  If you are going to start it later then I recommend The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems - she gives you step by step instructions on how to start it at 4 months or later.