Had a talk with hubby

rispergirl

Well, he apologized and said he knew what I was upset about.  I made him tell me just so we were clear.  And he was right, but I still chewed on him a little bit.  We talked about how we need to be more of a team and how it hurts me that he seems to be getting away with doing as little as he can instead of being in this with me.  He got it, I think.  Here's our new plan to try:

He's going to get up earlier and take the first morning feeding so I can sleep in.  This is the one I really would like to get out of and it will also help him get on his merry way earlier which is something he wants.  He said he knows he needs to get more disciplined and I agree.  

Also, we're going to alternate evenings on and off baby duty.  As it is now, we both take a baby for the evening feed, change, and bed time.  We're going to try alternating so that we each get every other evening to work out, veg out, whatever.

Hopefully, this will work better.  I feel like we're 85% there as far as handling this.  If he just helps this bit extra, I think we'll be fine.  So as long as we stick to it (and I don't let him off the hook) I think this might work.

Davez - you can still smack him.  How much is a plane ticket from Minn to NJ?

TheSkimmy

That is great that you got this over and done with already!!!

I will look forward to more Risper time everyother night!!

Mrs.McJeep

oh, I'll just drive up there and smack him for Davez haha!

I hope it works for you, I must say in the evening, I'm tired and love that my DH helps, and not alternates, because on the nights that it would be my turn I would be exhausted.  I hope it works for you, but as they get older you will probably want to go back to joint evenings.  Just my opinion.

TakYelgif

Good I am glad you talked to him.

May I get in line behind davez to smack him as well?

charmcitygirl

Sounds like you're working on a good compromise.  I hope this new plan works for both of you!

LucyPevensie

Well, shoot, here i was typing a big rant in your OP and you'd already had a talk and made a great plan.  This sound very workable!  He may just get lucky yet! hahhaaa!!  So glad you talked - keep talking - and you guys will work it out.  And it does get easier - but in fits and spurts - not all at once - and then sometimes it gets hard again - they change so much so fast.  But the sleep deprivation is the most difficult aspect, I think.  So whatever you can do to equalize that is very smart!  You're doing great!

pamela-matt

I think it is wonderful you talked about it. ?Sounds like an amazing plan

rispergirl

Mrs.McJeep:

oh, I'll just drive up there and smack him for Davez haha!

I hope it works for you, I must say in the evening, I'm tired and love that my DH helps, and not alternates, because on the nights that it would be my turn I would be exhausted.  I hope it works for you, but as they get older you will probably want to go back to joint evenings.  Just my opinion.

I agree with you on the evenings.  I don't imagine it will work out well, but it's something to try.  When we share evenings, it is the only time I ever get to hold and feed one baby too, which I cherish.  This was my idea, but I don't love it.  I am just looking for a way to compromise and get each of us a little time out.  If anyone has a suggestion on that front, I'd love to hear it.

JBSugar

I'm so glad you guys talked about it!  I've been thinking about you all morning!  It sounds like you are on the right track to you being much happier!

marriedgirl05

I missed the OP, but I just wanted to say how glad I am you guys talked and came up with some solutions to try!!  I think that makes all the difference in the world! 

DavezWife

Sounds like a decent plan. Now the trick... getting him to stick to it! Chances are, he'll go a couple days just great, then back to his old ways. I'll buy 2 rounds of tickets so I can come and re-smack him PRN.

A tip... if you catch him doing something "right" or "above and beyond" or heck, just helping a bit... reward him. Seriously. It's so fricken lame that we have to do this, but trust me. Whatever is a reward for him, do it. Big.

So without further ado, I must apease MY man by rewarding him with HIS currency style.. and tell you all that he made a fab mexican hotdish and he's hung like a horse. Yup, public bragging is his currency, so there you go. (bbrruuhaa!!!!!!)