Tuesday ++Confessions++ — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Tuesday ++Confessions++

Let it all out. . .

::big hugs:: in advance.

* I haven't been posting much, I went back into "lurker mode" because I don't know if what I say makes a difference.

* I have been crying quite a bit for/about baby again. I think grief related depression is coming around again, and I don't know how to make myself happy again.

Pg #1: 4/02/02- 40w5d - Healthy baby girl adopted out

Pg #2: Missed m/c ~11w - d&c 10/27/08

Pg #3: Missed m/c ~7w - d&c 6/29/09

Pg #4: 12/03/10- 41w - Healthy babe boy

Pg #5: EDD 8/03/13

Buddies: Cowgirl and kelinandkevin

[url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/26191f]Again?[/url]

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Re: Tuesday ++Confessions++

  • I seriously want to scream at my MIL!  She's been so insensitive through this whole thing and she thinks it's about her!  Now I am not a selfish person but this isn't about you lady, or your daughter that is so upset because she wanted a cousin close to her childs age.  This is about DH and I losing a baby and us grieving, this has nothing to do with you and you blaming me!!!  Get over yourself!

    woooh...I feel better thank you!

  • * My best friend went to eat with me last night (with another friend that didn't know I was pg). I rode with the bf alone to the restaraunt. On the car ride, never asked me how I was doing (haven't seen her since d&c) or anything. I finally brought it up so that she could maybe understand my pain. She asked me if I did anything to cause this...I was very calm and said no and vented to my mom later. Also, I was venting to her about the teenagers with babies and she said well at least you will be a better parent someday. I Wanted to scream " AT LEAST THEY HAVE THEIR BABY!!!" It is hard to hold back sometime. I just tell myself  she doesn't understand, and hopefully she never has to.

     * My husband went out of state this week for work...I am not ready for this. Hopefully he will be back this weekend.

    Ok, that is it :)

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  • image AbbyTownsend:

    I seriously want to scream at my MIL!  She's been so insensitive through this whole thing and she thinks it's about her!  Now I am not a selfish person but this isn't about you lady, or your daughter that is so upset because she wanted a cousin close to her childs age.  This is about DH and I losing a baby and us grieving, this has nothing to do with you and you blaming me!!!  Get over yourself!

    woooh...I feel better thank you!

    Oh my goodness Abby! How awful of her.

    My MIL has been so supportive, though i haven't even talked to her yet. DH has talked to her a bunch since Sunday and she just feels terrible for us. She lost her first at 4 months, so she just told DH to hug me a lot.

    Sorry your MIL is a nut!

  • oh and my vent. beginning 4/13 DH will be out of town for almost 2 weeks. I don't know what im gonna do without him.
  • DH told me last night about the *drama* that happend last weekend among our group of friends. I was hoping for a funny story, but ended up mad instead. 

    We didn't tell a lot of people that we were pregnant, therefore we didn't tell too many people we miscarried either.  Well, one of our *friends* heard about our loss and got mad that they were the last to know! WTF!?! I'm sorry I didn't go running around telling everyone and worrying that their feelings would be hurt if I didn't tell them!  Excuse me for being so insensitive!

    DH didn't like the way I reacted to hearing this.  How was I supposed to react!?!  He just shouldn't have told me. 

    Sorry, this was more of a vent than a confession.   

  • image Kristin&Kevin:
    image AbbyTownsend:

    I seriously want to scream at my MIL!  She's been so insensitive through this whole thing and she thinks it's about her!  Now I am not a selfish person but this isn't about you lady, or your daughter that is so upset because she wanted a cousin close to her childs age.  This is about DH and I losing a baby and us grieving, this has nothing to do with you and you blaming me!!!  Get over yourself!

    woooh...I feel better thank you!

    Oh my goodness Abby! How awful of her.

    My MIL has been so supportive, though i haven't even talked to her yet. DH has talked to her a bunch since Sunday and she just feels terrible for us. She lost her first at 4 months, so she just told DH to hug me a lot.

    Sorry your MIL is a nut!

    She is a nut case!!  There no other way to describe her!  I am so thankful that your MIL has been supportive, it really helped B and I last weekend to have my family around and supporting us!  Big hugs to you, I will be praying for you and your DH!
  • image Kristin&Kevin:
    oh and my vent. beginning 4/13 DH will be out of town for almost 2 weeks. I don't know what im gonna do without him.
    We'll be here for you and you can talk, vent, cry, whatever you need, we will be here for you!
  • Any while I am venting...

    I hate how long it takes you to get off newbie status on thebump...it drives me nuts *pouts as I look above see both a bronze and silver poster*

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  • * I am afraid that I will not have enough patience to get through the next 3 mos. while waiting to TTC.

     
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  • *I broke down at the flower counter at Schnucks today while trying to order flowers for Grace's memorial service Sunday and the lady looked at me like I was crazy.. 

    *I went to the bank and our personal banker (we have been working with him for a couple years now) came up and asked how I was and I told him that we lost our baby a week ago, and he wanted to know why.  I just said that I went into premature labor.  His response "Well are you going to try again"  I explained to him that after two losses in 6 months I just dont think I am ready to make that decision yet and he said "well you really should try again".  Got to the car and cried AGAIN!!!!!!!

    *I am having a hard time getting back into doing normal life things like taking the kids to school, grocery shopping, laundry.  Because I feel guilty like life is getting on without Grace and I am afraid that I will forget her..

    *I am nervous about meeting with my pastor tomorrow about the memorial service...  : * (

    *I am very thankful for my DH, I called him after everything was going wrong today and he met me for lunch which did make me feel better.  I am so thankful for him, even though everything else seems to be falling in around me. 

    I am a married mom of 3 beautiful earthly DD's ages 15 yrs, 6 yrs and 11 months. I am the mom of 5 angel babies (CP, 7 wks, 8 wks, 18 wks, and 14 wks losses)

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  • I feel guilty when I can go days without crying. I feel like I owe it to Ashton to always be sad.?

    I drank a lot on Friday night with friends. It made me sad that I'm ABLE to drink again.?

  • I had a bloody mary and a beer chaser on Saturday afternoon and even though it was good it made me sad.

    I didn't wash my hair today.

    I skipped the gym today and I'm eating an m&m cookie ice cream sandwich!

    Missed m/c 3/20/09 | Missed m/c 8/28/09

    Buddies with the fabulous mlmtgg!
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  • DrDPMDrDPM
    Tenth Anniversary
    member
    Joining in late, but needed to vent. I just got the pathology report back, and now know that I would have had a little girl.  I was finally starting feel better, and now it hurts all over again. I look at my daughter, and it breaks my heart that she won't know her sister.  I think it would have been easier to not know if the baby was male/female.
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