grad school?

crazylucky

maybe this isn't the right place to post this, but whatever.

hi, i'm newish.

i'm starting grad school in the fall and the program will take me 3 years to complete. dh and i have been married for a little over 2 years, and he wants to start thinking about kids. i don't think he wants to wait another 3 years to start trying.

i'm not sure what to think. i'm kinda freaked out by the idea of trying to have a baby while still in grad school, but maybe it's possible? i don't know. i think dh would like to have a kid before he's 30 (which will be in 3 years) and he probably doesn't want our family to be just us for a full 5 years either. i want kids, i just don't know how feasible it would be to do it during grad school.

obviously we're just trying to plan things out logistically right now, but i still don't know what to think.

any thoughts?

LucyAnnie

It can be done.  Happens all the time.  Its up to you to decide to make it work.  GL!

Emie28

This is just my own experience, but I don't think I would have been able to do it. If we had had a baby I probably wouldn't have finished.

NikkiRaymond

I think if you want to make it work, you can.  I am currently in grad school, and have been for one year.  I am almost 27 years old, and DH will turn 28 this month.  I have another 1.5 years left, and we have decided not to wait until I am finished with school, and to start now. I will be TTC in about 2 months. I've seen a few people that are pregnant in class, and are doing just fine. Also - 50% of the people in my classes have kids, some of them two and three children!  Just make sure you don't overload youself with classes during pregnancy and when little one is here.  I suppose the bottom line is that plenty of people have made it work, and you will too!  When it's hard, just think about how your degree is you contributing something to your family, your children, and most importantly think "This is only temporary!"

 Whatever you decide, good luck!

Mommy2Gav

I am finishing up my undergrad now (graduating in May) and I haven't missed a semester (including summer) in over two years. I have applied to grad school for the fall and am waiting to hear back. College with babies is harder but not impossible.?

charlies-angel

I think that it would obviously make grad school a little more difficult when pregnant/having a child...but if its something that you want to do, you can definitely do it. Its a personal decision on whether you think you can handle it or not. I would think it also depends on the intensity of your masters program.

crazylucky

thanks so much for the responses. obviously we'll have to put a lot of thought into if it's something we want to do or not, but it's good to have opinions of those who have done it themselves or done a master's degree and have an idea of the workload involved.

btw, it's a master's in archaeology, so it would be mostly research and reading with some travel to research.

thank you!!

heather_09_15_07

crazylucky:

maybe this isn't the right place to post this, but whatever.

hi, i'm newish.

i'm starting grad school in the fall and the program will take me 3 years to complete. dh and i have been married for a little over 2 years, and he wants to start thinking about kids. i don't think he wants to wait another 3 years to start trying.

i'm not sure what to think. i'm kinda freaked out by the idea of trying to have a baby while still in grad school, but maybe it's possible? i don't know. i think dh would like to have a kid before he's 30 (which will be in 3 years) and he probably doesn't want our family to be just us for a full 5 years either. i want kids, i just don't know how feasible it would be to do it during grad school.

obviously we're just trying to plan things out logistically right now, but i still don't know what to think.

any thoughts?

Those 2 things I highlighted tell me you need to talk to your DH instead of assuming what he wants.

mulanuva

NikkiRaymond:

I think if you want to make it work, you can.  I am currently in grad school, and have been for one year.  I am almost 27 years old, and DH will turn 28 this month.  I have another 1.5 years left, and we have decided not to wait until I am finished with school, and to start now. I will be TTC in about 2 months. I've seen a few people that are pregnant in class, and are doing just fine. Also - 50% of the people in my classes have kids, some of them two and three children!  Just make sure you don't overload youself with classes during pregnancy and when little one is here.  I suppose the bottom line is that plenty of people have made it work, and you will too!  When it's hard, just think about how your degree is you contributing something to your family, your children, and most importantly think "This is only temporary!"

 Whatever you decide, good luck!

Almost the same situation as me.  I'm in grad school, one more class (fall '09) and a thesis project to go.  DH and I are 26 and have decided not to wait until I've graduated...we'll start TTC in two months as well.  So if your grad program isn't that demanding, go for it.

meww

I agree.  It definitely depends on the intensity of the program.  I'm doing my masters right now and working.  I know I couldn't have a baby right now, but one of my classmates had a baby the december before she graduated in August!

I also know in some degrees, working summers is key and others you could take it off.  Are you trying to time your pregnancy for the summer break?  Would you be willing to stop TTC if you "miss the window"?  What if your baby is preemie?  As long as you think you can handle all the "variables" then go for it!  especially if your program is somewhat flexible and you COULD take a semester off if your health dictates it.

swimrbride

It can be done. When I was in grad school at least 3 of the girls in my program either got pregnant or had a baby during school. It slowed some down a little, they went down to part time instead of full time students, but they managed just fine. I think if your husband is willing to help out with a baby then it shouldn't be too difficult.

crazylucky

Those 2 things I highlighted tell me you need to talk to your DH instead of assuming what he wants.

actually, i have talked with him about it, and don't worry, no assumptions are being made here. that's just how i talk. 

let me restate:

he doesn't want to wait another 3 years to start trying.

he doesn't want our family to be just us for a full 5 years either.

just in case anyone else had the same concerns...

again, thank you for your responses! there's definitely a lot to think about before we make this decision.

CassieD

Well, I'm finishing up my master's, which I've been doing while working full time, and I know without a doubt that I couldn't have done all that with a baby also. As much as I didn't want to wait to have kids, I'm so thankful that we held off as long as we did so that I'll have the time, energy, and finances to devote to raising a child.

horizon1322

I'm currently one year into a 3 year masters program. Due in part to the advice I received on here, we've decided to wait to start TTC until the fall of my last year. There are a lot of students who have kids here and are pregnant here, but most of the pregnant students/students w/ infants are in their last year. It's definitely doable, but if you can wait, it's probably for the best.

LoveBeingAWife33008

I finish grad school in June. ?I could have never done it during this time. The amount of stress is too much on top of work. ?I am happy we waited.

kat81

I really like this answer. I'm struggling with the same question myself. I have one year of grad school left after this one and I'm thinking about having a kid anyway. I know it can be done because I know a lot of people who have done it, but you have to think things through practically, and also just decide whether you want a kid anyway right now. Think to yourself that if grad school weren't the issue here, would you still want a kid, or would you want to wait a bit? You could always defer the decision a bit assuming you are still quite young (sounds like you are under 30 from your post...?)

smoof

It has its pros and cons.  I know someone who had her 3rd or 4th child while we were in grad school.  She actually thought it was easier being in school and having a baby than working full time, like she had with her other children.  Now, if you are going to be working full time and going to school that maybe a different story.  I have been thinking about going back to school and the what-ifs of having a baby.  I thought about it and it will never be easy, but there are certain benefits of being in school and having a baby then. 

NikkiRaymond

NikkiRaymond:

I think if you want to make it work, you can.  I am currently in grad school, and have been for one year.  I am almost 27 years old, and DH will turn 28 this month.  I have another 1.5 years left, and we have decided not to wait until I am finished with school, and to start now. I will be TTC in about 2 months. I've seen a few people that are pregnant in class, and are doing just fine. Also - 50% of the people in my classes have kids, some of them two and three children!  Just make sure you don't overload youself with classes during pregnancy and when little one is here.  I suppose the bottom line is that plenty of people have made it work, and you will too!  When it's hard, just think about how your degree is you contributing something to your family, your children, and most importantly think "This is only temporary!"

 Whatever you decide, good luck!

 

I should have mentioned I also work full time while going to grad school.  So yes, I plan on TTC, working full time, and TTC at the same time.  For me personally, it's not too much (I have decided to make it work!)  I will have baby, school, and work full time for 10 months, and then it's over.  A LOT?  Yes!  DO-ABLE?  Yes!