My confession (re: C-Section)

Smudges*Mom

Some may find this flameworthy, but that's okay. . .

Part of me (that gets bigger every day) hopes & prays that my OB says that I will have to have a c-section.  The thought of laboring for hours and pushing without my husband by my side seems like more than I can handle.  We worked so damn hard to get pregnant (and this is likely our only child)--to go through the birthing process without him scares me.  Yes, it was our decision to move forward even though we knew he was being deployed. . . but I truly felt that it was our only option if we wanted to have a family.  So, I'm hoping that I don't have to endure hours of labor, during which I will miss my DH with all my being.  I will do what is best for my son, but I'm hoping that is a c-section.

There, I've "said" it.  I haven't talked about this with anyone because I get quite upset and I'm trying very hard to keep my brave face on for the world to see.  These are the decision that DH and I made together (and I'd make them again) but damn, I didn't know it was going to be *this* hard. 

End confession.

PS--I know that there are restrictions after a c-section--my family lives very near-by (within 5 miles) and my MIL will be staying with me for a while after delivery too. I will have plenty of help and support.

bethCT

I just want to offer a hug!  You are amazing to do all of this with Dh away, but just imagine his face the first time he sees your little one

alison43

I don't think you're flameworthy at all.  I can't imagine what childbirth will be like WITH my husband, nevermind without.

(((((hugs)))) 

Smudges*Mom

Thanks ladies, I appreciate your support!

We're hoping that DH will get his R&R in the November, December or January timeframe--DS will be more fun at that point.  Then, ultimately, I hope that DH will be home in time for DS's first birthday.  )

CMM05

No flames here! I felt the same way.....my DS was breech until about 34 weeks and (confession here....) I was sad when they did the u/s and they told me that he had moved head down.

I then went into labor on my own (water broke at home...) and when I got to the hospital I was already 6cm and 80% effaced. I then realized that I was definitely going through a vaginal delivery.....not so much! I ended up laboring for 12 hours and pushed for 2.5 and then he wouldn't make the final descend.....so I had a c-section.

I can't wait to sign up for my next one......:)

p.s. there is nothing wrong with wanting a c-section......I know tons of girls who just ask for them and their OB's are fine with it. There are so many people who will disagree, but you are entitled to your thoughts!

GL!

TakYelgif

no flames from me I can understand that fear and do not know how I made it through my labor and delivery without my DH. 

((HUGS))

LVBlvd

No flames here! Just wanted to wish you the very best of luck.

rispergirl

First of all, just because you chose to have a baby while your DH is deployed doesn't mean you don't have a right to say how hard it is!  I can't even imagine.  You are very strong and brave for doing this. 

Second, IMO there is nothing wrong with not wanting to go through labor and a vaginal delivery.  A lot of people want it and feel that it is very important to them.  But that doesn't make it wrong for you to feel differently.  I did.  I had absolutely no desire and I am thrilled with my c-section experience.  I was thrilled to realize that I could get one just because I was having twins.  I had dreaded being forced to go vaginally if it was one baby.  So, I don't think you should feel guilty for hoping for one yourself.  You have a very good reason (not that you need to justify your feelings).  You are willing to do what's best for the baby and that makes you a good mom - end of story.

desabean

I very much do NOT want a c-section.  However, I sort of agree with you for your reasons.  (And frankly, I'm cool with whatever anyone decides, I just don't want one for me, if I can help it).  I totally understand not wanting to go through all of that without DH.  I feel so bad for you having to go through most of the pregnancy and early months of being a parent alone-- I'd go for the "sure thing" on birth too.  However, I also am so happy for you that you got your BFP prior to DH being deployed.  It will be difficult but you will get through it!!  For what it's worth, I think you do a great job of keeping your brave face on ; )

tnkrbl21

I can't imagine going through birthing (c-section or vag) without DH.  You are amazingly strong for doing so and you can wish for whatever kind of birth experience you want.  I opted for c-section even though I could have chosen vag (baby A is still head down) and I know most people woudl scoff at that decision, but these are my babies.  You have to voice what you feel comfortable with.

talentedgirl

Having your child either by c-section or vaginally is your own personal decision, as was having a child. I would hope that you would not receive any flames on this board.

I was terrified to give birth either way with DH by my side, I can't imagine doing it alone. You are amazingly brave!! I guess I was luck in that the decision was made for me, and I had a c-section.

Smudges*Mom

I really appreciate the support, thank you!

I think that sometimes I do myself a disservice by putting on such a good "game face".  But, I don't want to spend the next year plus crying on family and friends nor having them worry ALL the time.  For the most part, I am fine, we will get through this and I am fortunate that my son's daddy is such an amazing man.  <sigh>  I just miss the hell  out of him and he's not even in Iraq yet!

Again, thank you.  I try hard to not be *that girl* when it comes to DH deploying. . . but there are days that it is hard--especially when I think about things like giving birth.  LOL. 

runblondie26

I totally understand. The birthing process freaked me out too. Just thinking about an episiotomy or tear made me dizzy. I secretly hoped for a c-section, and wasn't upset when the doctor said we had to do it. The only thing I was upset about is that I suffered through 18 hours of labor first.

Fortunately, my recovery has been really easy, and I'm still happy I had the c-section.. ?On the other hand ladies have been giving birth the old fashioned way since the beginning of time and have survived. It obviously works.

Best wishes either way. I don't know the circumstances, but I can't imagine not having DH there. You're lucky to be surrounded by family, and will do great

?edit: oops,missed the part where you said your DH was deployed. ?

soccerwife

Having been induced with DS and being in labor for 20 hours (including more than 2 hrs of pushing) then delivering vaginally (after tearing) and having an emergency CS with DD due to prolapse cord, I can tell you that my CS recovery was faster and easier than my vag delivery recovery. At 1st the CS was more painful, but in a few days my pain subsided. 10 days PP I was walking on the treadmill. My vag delivery recovery, though less painful, lasted much longer.

If given a choice, I'd have another CS over a vaginal delivery.

lnle

((hugs)) even though you made the decision together, you don't always have to have your brave face on. do what's best for you!

skoorbnibor

no flames! I would also worry about not having my husband

Radler

I'm getting to today's posts late, after work, but I wanted to send you a big hug for this one. You ARE brave, one of the bravest people I know. And I totally get what you're saying about not having your DH there, you know I do. Lately I've considered not having ANYONE there while I'm in labor if my DH can't make it home from deployment ... how silly is that? Cab to the hospital? I don't know what I'm thinking.

I really hope everything goes smoothly for you. You so deserve an easy birth after everything you have managed in the last year: IVF, TWO moves, a deployment. Seriously, you're superwoman, and superwoman deserves a break!