DH is more stressed out about my job loss than I am!

butterbeansmama

How frustrating is that? Now, I have to deal with not only my internal emotions, but I have to deal with calming him down as well. UGH!

He is probably more stressed, because he knows that it's defnitely time for himself to get back out in the "normal" working world and not just perform on the weekends. He needs to update his resume (which we are going to a free seminar together this coming friday) and get in contact with a headhunter that will help him find something during the week that will still allow him to work on the weekends. He can't quit performing (it makes us too much money). It's just irritating to me, because he comes back from working in Florida over the weekend, with a MAJOR attitude (like that is what I need).

I have always been the one that works and supports our health/dental insurance, 401K, savings, etc. Now, I'm thinking about going back to school while I'm off, so I won't be working at all. This is the perfect time for us to try for #2 too. It is so clear cut for me. Why can't he see it that way?

Schweb

sounds like your H was very emotionally invested in the status quo - it was working out well for him, now it's gone. Some people do not handle change well - especially if it is abrupt change. I am one of those people. He needs to look deep inside and find his inner adult . . IMO

stacynikki

I guess I'd be freaking out as well.  I would be all for DH going back to school if that's what he wanted to do but being without medical insurance would be scary.  Especially if you want to TTC #2. 

butterbeansmama

Schweb:

sounds like your H was very emotionally invested in the status quo - it was working out well for him, now it's gone. Some people do not handle change well - especially if it is abrupt change. I am one of those people. He needs to look deep inside and find his inner adult . . IMO

I totally agree.

butterbeansmama

stacynikki:

I guess I'd be freaking out as well.  I would be all for DH going back to school if that's what he wanted to do but being without medical insurance would be scary.  Especially if you want to TTC #2. 

dh wouldn't be going back to school. I would be. If dh can find something that even helped pay for insurance that would be nice. We would have insurance either way (even if we had to go through private insurance or ask for help). I will not have DS w/o insurance.

mlm1128

Isn't your DH a stay at home dad during the week?  He could be upset at the thought of losing all that time with his son too.  He will be working during the day, and traveling to perform on weekends.  That will be very tough on him as far as limiting his time with Preston.  Maybe it is more that than anything else.

butterbeansmama

mlm1128:

Isn't your DH a stay at home dad during the week?  He could be upset at the thought of losing all that time with his son too.  He will be working during the day, and traveling to perform on weekends.  That will be very tough on him as far as limiting his time with Preston.  Maybe it is more that than anything else.

Yes, he is. You could be very right. I hadn't even thought of that. Hmmmmm. Good call.

stacynikki

butterbeansmama:

stacynikki:

I guess I'd be freaking out as well.  I would be all for DH going back to school if that's what he wanted to do but being without medical insurance would be scary.  Especially if you want to TTC #2. 

dh wouldn't be going back to school. I would be. If dh can find something that even helped pay for insurance that would be nice. We would have insurance either way (even if we had to go through private insurance or ask for help). I will not have DS w/o insurance.

Well then...I think you have a good case!  Oh, and I knew you were the one going back to school.  I was just putting myself in your DH's shoes saying that I don't think I would have a problem if DH were laid off and he wanted to go back to school.  I'm the money person in our house so the thought of paying out of pocket with no insurance and TTC#2 would stress me out to no end!  But it sounds as though you have a pretty good plan! 

What would you be going back to school for?  I have my degree in Finance but I would love to go back for something else.  I don't think that Finance is my life long dream!

katie277s

Change can be hard.  Especially when it comes without a lot of notice.  I am sure he is just trying to adjust to having to give up his SAHD job and find a WOHD job.  Plus, it is stressful to not have insurance. 

I understand where you are coming from, just give him a little time to take it all in.  Men especially have a hard time adjusting to new things

butterbeansmama

stacynikki:

butterbeansmama:

stacynikki:

I guess I'd be freaking out as well.  I would be all for DH going back to school if that's what he wanted to do but being without medical insurance would be scary.  Especially if you want to TTC #2. 

dh wouldn't be going back to school. I would be. If dh can find something that even helped pay for insurance that would be nice. We would have insurance either way (even if we had to go through private insurance or ask for help). I will not have DS w/o insurance.

Well then...I think you have a good case!  Oh, and I knew you were the one going back to school.  I was just putting myself in your DH's shoes saying that I don't think I would have a problem if DH were laid off and he wanted to go back to school.  I'm the money person in our house so the thought of paying out of pocket with no insurance and TTC#2 would stress me out to no end!  But it sounds as though you have a pretty good plan! 

What would you be going back to school for?  I have my degree in Finance but I would love to go back for something else.  I don't think that Finance is my life long dream!

Although, I enjoy working in finance, I really don't think it is going be in demand 10-15 years from now. I'm trying to figure out what would be and it seems to me that so far: nursing, teaching, and daycare/montessori/preschool teachers will be in demand. I'm sure there are more, I just need to investigate more.

I figured (after I clicked post) that you were putting yourself in our shoes.

I don't know. I guess I'm not that stressed, because I have faith that everything will work out. Somehow we will get through this.

butterbeansmama

katie277s:

Change can be hard.  Especially when it comes without a lot of notice.  I am sure he is just trying to adjust to having to give up his SAHD job and find a WOHD job.  Plus, it is stressful to not have insurance. 

I understand where you are coming from, just give him a little time to take it all in.  Men especially have a hard time adjusting to new things

We will have insurance for another 3 months (paid for by my company) and then we can go on Cobra for $450.00 a month for an additional 6 months. After that we will have to pay completely out of pocket, but I'm hoping we will be more financially secure by then and having some help insurance wise.