Moms - I need a bf pep talk (whining vent)

laura&dan05

Bf has been going well but today I feel like giving up.  Last night I kept dreaming that I was feeding Hannah so when it was time to wake up and feed her I was so confused and felt like I fed her all night long. I'm so tired today even after an hour long nap.  I'm afraid I'm getting a cold because my nose is stuffy. My boobs hurt.  They aren't over engorged and I think that my supply and demand is just starting to work itself out but they are still sore (and dented).  She really only feeds in 2 positions (the cradle hold and when I'm laying down) and I use both everyday.  I try the football hold everyday and she hates it and screams the whole time.  I think that's why I'm so sore.

I have a breast pump that I haven't taken out of the box yet.  I wasn't ready and I'm still not sure that I'm ready to pump.  I think I'm just having an overwhelmed moment and if I try and pump right now I'll just be upset and feel like I gave up to easily.  For totally selfish reasons I don't want to pump.  I don't want other people to be able to feed her (well I'm fine with DH feeding her a bottle if I pump).  It's a total control thing that I'm not sure I'm ready to give up.

Do I just cave and start pumping?  Does it really get easier? 

tina623

I/my body failed at BF so take this however you want..

If I were you, I'd keep it up.  Don't pump unless you need too but I think what you are goring through is normal for the beginning.  I believe, and I could be wrong, that it gets much easier as time goes on. 

Stick with it!  You're doing great. 

ps, the exhaustion is horrendous but eventually you get used to it and can be a little clearer through it. 

LucyPevensie

It sounds to me like you are doing GREAT!  I had to stop nursing at the breast and exclusively pump due to severe nipple damage - and I can tell that exclusively pumping instead of nursing SUCKS!  I would so much prefer to cuddle my baby to the breast.  But - there is certainly nothing wrong with pumping here and there for some extra relief and/or at some point - to allow DH to feed with a bottle. 

But for now - I say keep doing what you're doing.  It seems that just about every successful bf'er is able to turn a corner after the first several weeks and come to a place where bf'ing is very satisfying and enjoyable.  You just gotta hang in there.  I think you're doing fantastic. 

macschic

I remember feeling the exact same way. It will get so much better! With that being said, it really didn't get easier for me until around 10 weeks. I had to pump when dd was 2 weeks because she was tounge-tied and was ripping my nips apart. So to give myself a break, I would alternate between pumping and nursing for the first month until we got her tounge-tie corrected.

Your milk supply will regulate somewhere around 6-8 weeks so hang in there. As for the positions, once she gets better head control you can experiment with different holds.

Bfing is so so so hard, but I promise it gets so so so much better. Stick with it if you can. I am so glad I did.

ESTH2000

sounds like you are doing great and its normal to feel this way in the beginning...I went through it and now things are soooo much better...dont get me wrong it is exhausting but you get used to it...I will have to pump because I go to work soon but I wish I could nurse her forever..well not exactly forever..lol keep at it..your doing great and if you need to talk..we are here for you

ABC-123

Girl, bfing is hard, but you can do it!  My OB had a great description that I love.  She said that nursing is like running a marathon, you just have to endure.  It is a test of your will and endurance.  That was very true for me because I had a lot of supply issues, latching issues, etc.  It was difficult.  However, it did get better.  I can't quite remember when it did, but it did.  I ended up loving bf'ing even thought it was so difficult.  I hate that I had to stop due to lack of supply...

You can bf as long as you want to.  Pumping sucks, but is also necessary at times.  If you aren't ready to pump, there is no reason that you have to.  You and your DH need to do what is best for Hannah and for you (and yes, your emotional reasons to continue to bf and not pump are valid too).

Good luck!

beebe929

I had those "dreams" too... I would wake up to her crying in the monitor and take a few minutes to wake feeling like I was already holding her.  So freaky!  It is from really deep sleep that gets broken.

Stick with it.  So worth it!  EPing SUCKs!  Keep her on the breast and hang in there!

 Good luck!!

SeaSoul

I had SUCH a tough time with BF at first...Cal wasn't good at staying on after latching, so that was frustrating, and the huge time commitment was especially hard.  I just couldn't catch a break!!  Oh, and I was using a nipple shield.  Well, I am proud (and amazed) to say that now, the nipple shields are out of the picture, and I actually LIKE BFing.  It just takes a while to get in the groove and as things start to slow down, and both you & DC get the hang of things, it starts to get easier.  I did pump a couple of times a week just to have it on hand in case I was desperate for a break (DH fed Cal with the finger method a few times in the very beginning when I was too exhausted) or in case of emergency where I was unavailable or unable to BF for some reason.  I strongly encourage you to push through this difficult day and keep on trucking.  You'll be glad you did.  Take it from someone who was in the same boat not too long ago!!

Christakim

The first two to three weeks were really hard for me.  I was using a nipple shield most of the time on one side and constantly pumping a feeding.  The nipple shield was a godsend and I felt like I was never going to be able to give it up, but I kept trying her on the nipple and eventually everything just fell into place.  Breastfeeding Ella was AWESOME after that.  Keep it up!  It'll be worth it in the end!

crystalgirl

Oh hon... It WILL get sooooooo much easier.  At this point, BFing is practically the easiest part of motherhood!  In those early days, it is rough rough rough.  Everything is, really.

I totally had the dreams that I was nursing, holding, had gotten out of bed, etc.  It's so disorienting when your sleep is that disturbed.  It will improve, I promise.

You could try pumping a bottle a day to let DH take one feeding, once you're feeling a bit more settled...like in a week or two?  We did that in those first few months.  DH and I would work "shifts" at night.  He took the first shift while I slept, and I took the second.  Basically, I would feed DS at around 10ish and then go to bed.  I'd sleep for about 5 hours while DH stayed up and gave DS a bottle of BM at around 12:30 when he woke up.  DS would then wake up to eat again at around 3.  At that point DH would bring him to me.  So I'd get up to nurse, and DH would go to bed.  DS would usually wake up another 2 times before being up "for the day" at 8.  I would try to sleep a little with DS on my chest.  This was more complicated for us because DS had to be held in order to stay asleep in those days.

Anyway, that was too much detail!  Point is, maybe DH can take a night feeding to let you get a longer stretch of sleep, but I'd give it a week or two to make sure your supply is strong enough to sleep through a feeding.  (Of course, you will make up for it by pumping at another time.  I usually fed DS that first time, then tried to lie him down just long enough to go pump b/c I'd have a lot of milk then since I skipped the other feeding.)

Hope some of that helps.  You can totally do this!!!!  You are doing great!

crystalgirl

Oh!  One more important thing... I have only ever fed DS in those two positions (side-lying and cradle hold), and I still do them now.  I'm concerned about your comment that you're "dented."  What do you mean?  Make sure you really massage your breasts while you feed... I don't want you to have a clogged duct and not realize it.  Those can really hurt a lot and can get worse if you don't work them out.

I do remember being really really sore.  I told DH that everyone talks about their nips hurting, but for me it was the whole boob!  It still hurts if I get hit in the boob, but it's NOTHING like it was at the beginning.  I had forgotten about it, actually!

Hang in there, honey.  (((((hugs)))))

runblondie26

Pumping has been so much easier for us then BFing. Don't feel guilty or buy into it that you *have* to have the baby on the breast. Do what works for you! ?Hope it gets easier soon