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Why is the shower so focused on women?

ChelleMChelleM
in 3rd Trimester

I guess this is semi-stupid.  It just seems a little odd to me that the shower is for me only, the invitations have my name only and the cake even has just my name.  I mean, I didn't get myself pregnant.

Besides, these days men are so much more involved in child rearing than years before so gifts received are used by both parents.

Seems like an outdated thing to do.

 

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Re: Why is the shower so focused on women?

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    E&JhssweetheartsE&Jhssweethearts
    My DH is thrilled about our LO, but he would have NO interest in attending a shower, I don't really feel like the showers are for the mom but really for the baby... JMO.
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    Donny-stfuDonny-stfu

    I started wondering this very same thing when it was ME filling out all the thank-you cards for OUR gifts.

    *grumble*grumble*stupidcards*grumble*

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    sarahryandrewlosarahryandrewlo
    B/c most men (mine included) don't care about that kinda stuff.
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    RitzaRitza

    Agreed.  But its totally up to you.  Both my babyshowers were co-ed.

    DS is now 12... so a co-ed shower is not something new, just not common.

    We had a "party" this time around and sent invitations with both our names.

    Some of the men where like "we're not going," and BF had to intervine and explain that it was more of a party atmosphere celebrating the baby.

    Everyone showed up, everyone dances, everyone had a good time.  Plus, the men participated in the one and only game we had and had a blast!!

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    KimmyB111304KimmyB111304

    My DH isn't really that into it either. He went to our couples shower that a close group of friends threw and that was fine because it was small, but he would have hated being at the "traditional" shower. I agree with the OP that we didn't get pregnant on our own, but we are the ones that have been carrying the baby this entire time...I think we deserve a little bit of extra attention! :) LOL

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    PeskyPesky member
    A lot of them aren't, nowadays.  I know DH attended my work shower (my only shower for DD as I was new to the area).  But heck, if I'm going through all of this, getting a slice of cake out of it is okay by me.


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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    nanantatonanantato

    Every latino shower I have been to is co-ed. I will say some that I have been to sometimes they are there, or they are just not.

    Usually the men are just having a beer and socializing with the other men.

     

    BabyFetus Ticker
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    doozerdaisydoozerdaisy member
    It is outdated and sexist (although dh was happy to opt out--wish I could have).  My dh is really annoyed by comments (usually from other men) about not being an active parent.  They often say things like "well, you did your job..."  He's wanting to be an equal parent (is reading parenting books and attending classes like me) and gets pissed when people assume that he is A.) not interested B.) stupid.
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    NMangerNManger member
    DH hates being the center of atttention and is perfectly happy to be excluded...however with DD he got together with a bunch of husbands of the women at the shower and they went out for drinks to celebrate the baby...so he wasn't totally left out. He also came in towards the end to thank people and help carry the gifts.
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    LettLoveLettLove
    I don't know either. We had both of our names on the invitations and I'm bringing DH with me. I want my dad to be there and DH's dad too but my dad has to work. My grandad and my uncle and some other men-folk are coming so - I don't see anything wrong with it. I want DH to be there and be surprised by the gifts and stuff - I want him to have fun with it too.
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    cathy_and_mattcathy_and_matt
    imageChelleM:

    I guess this is semi-stupid.  It just seems a little odd to me that the shower is for me only, the invitations have my name only and the cake even has just my name.  I mean, I didn't get myself pregnant.

    Besides, these days men are so much more involved in child rearing than years before so gifts received are used by both parents.

    Seems like an outdated thing to do.

     

    I agree with you 100%. Which is why, when my MIL asked if she could throw me a shower, I politely declined. There was no way that she would have thrown anything but a traditional shower, which I'm just not interested in. I once said something about how I found women-only baby showers a bit odd since it completely ignores the father, and she stared at me like I had two heads and stammered out "men don't get it". Don't get what?!

    If we want our husbands to be full and equal partners, then we should treat them that way. We're both having this baby, and we certainly both had a hand in making it ;)

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