If good grades are just expected... or paid for...

marrymemylove

either way how does that make you feel if you try really really hard and still get Cs.

Personally I think the kid who tries really hard and gets Cs deserves more reward than the one (like me) who didn't have to work to get As.

The only 2 kinds of responses about paying for grades were:

1. positive reinforcement so they will get good grades

2. expected, so won't pay

No one else worries about the message this sends that success is what matters not trying hard?

No wonder there are so many cheaters out there when parents teach their kids the result or winning, is all that matters.

TYVM. Good night! 

AnnapolisLari

I used to give my students candy if they tried really hard and still got Cs. A C was sometimes the first grade they had ever had that wasn't a D or an F. I taught remedial reading to middle school kids, many of whom really hated school. A C was practically an excuse for a party.

Andrewsgal

I totally agree with you. I did not try at all through school. Never had to. However several of my friends worked really really hard for their As. Their grades meant a whole lot more to them than mine ever did. I am a special education teacher and believe that what is expected from each child should be different. I will expect my child to do what they can. I will not pay for grades, I don't believe in it.

ali-1411

You reward them for trying.  Of course you wouldn't set a reward for an A when the kid is a C student.  You have him try for a B-

But then again I don't think grades and school is everything, and I think I'm the only one around here who won't be devastated if my kids don't go to college.

penguingrrl

I never said I expected As and Bs.  I expect the best the child can do, and will base the expectation on their ability, as my mother did.

DandelionMom

I think too much is put on grades anyway. I don't plan to reward or treat the kids for their grades. When they work hard at something and do well, we celebrate with them but we don't dole out $20s or candy or any of that. 

I also don't expect good grades.  I expect my kids to give every project the attention it deserves and to get the most out of it they can.  If they do that and still fail the project, then the system is flawed, not them.

elm1032004

I think you need to teach your kids to do their best.  In some subjects that may be an A or B, in others that may be a C.  I'd be mad if they got C's and were not putting in any effort, but if they were working really hard and got a C there is nothing wrong with that....the effort is what is important.

femmegem

FWIW, I agree with you. My parents always just wanted me to do my best, and I feel the same about DS. I should have stated it that way in the other post. If he works hard, that will make me happy, regardless of the letter grade he earns.

femmegem

DandelionMom:

I think too much is put on grades anyway. I don't plan to reward or treat the kids for their grades. When they work hard at something and do well, we celebrate with them but we don't dole out $20s or candy or any of that. 

I also don't expect good grades.  I expect my kids to give every project the attention it deserves and to get the most out of it they can.  If they do that and still fail the project, then the system is flawed, not them.

Well said. I totally agree.