These comments make me mad

jrosehistory · March 2009

My tactless unmarried 20-something pregnant cousin who is planning a quickie wedding in May to give the baby legitimacy made a dumb comment to me that I had to share. She knew I miscarried and told me I must try again soon for I am getting old and don't have too many years left. I could have killed her for that comment. First off you never tell someone they are getting old and I think I have many childbearing years ahead of me. My SIL who is 39 is due in May with a healthy baby girl and is planning to have another child after this one. I certainly don't consider her old at all or myself too old to have a child. My miscarriage was not due to my age it was due to the cells not dividing. I fired back at her letting her know that many women over 35 have very healthy pregnancies and I know so many women over 35 that are starting their families and have wonderful pregnancies and healthy babies. We are not too old to have our families. This narrow-mindeness makes me so mad! I wanted to tell her at least I did not get married because I accidentally got pregnant but I held my tongue I was above that. I told my husband our best revenge is by actions and to have a healthy baby and show her that a woman over 35 can have a healthy baby and that age is just a number. All of us ladies over 35 totally rock as pregnant women and new moms!! Thanks for letting me vent all your support to me has always been so wonderful!

BrideBuddies · March 2009

Hopefully stupidity is not something that can be inherited, eh?

stever · March 2009

Booooo... I'm sorry. Here's to showing her what's what!

Sunny70 · March 2009

Wow, she sounds young and stupid. I think there may have been a time when I would have said such a thing without even realizing how wrong that was. I remember saying I felt old when I turned 25 and not realizing what an idiot I sounded like.

Sorry, that would have made me mad too, it's kind of hurtful and very insensitive.

robynlesley · March 2009

How terrible, Jenn! I'm so sorry your cousins is such a twatwaffle. I think it's beyond young and stupid and is just stupid. Who says that to someone, who suffered a loss like you did, no matter how old?

You and Geoff WILL prove your cousin wrong. And you and your future child will be much better off than she is?because you'll teach compassion and be a better mother. (((HUG)))

ChristineNYC · March 2009

a) of COURSE she's wrong. I'm so sorry for your miscarriage - but they can happen to ANYONE at ANY age.

b) how stupid and tactless of her.

c) I wonder if you *accidentally* posted her e mail address here if a FEW of us might write her and tell her how it is?

LOLOL!

Just try to laugh and feel bad for her. Folks who think that way have such a limited view of life.

Hang in lady

Christine

edbetsy1 · March 2009

1st I'am really sorry about your m/c

that was really rude of her to say that..I had my daughter when I was 28 and I wished I would have waited until my middle 30's to have her if I'd known then what I know now. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have children after 35. I respect and commend any woman who makes that decision.

edbetsy1 · March 2009

jrosehistory:

My tactless unmarried 20-something pregnant cousin who is planning a quickie wedding in May to give the baby legitimacy made a dumb comment to me that I had to share. She knew I miscarried and told me I must try again soon for I am getting old and don't have too many years left. I could have killed her for that comment. First off you never tell someone they are getting old and I think I have many childbearing years ahead of me. My SIL who is 39 is due in May with a healthy baby girl and is planning to have another child after this one. I certainly don't consider her old at all or myself too old to have a child. My miscarriage was not due to my age it was due to the cells not dividing. I fired back at her letting her know that many women over 35 have very healthy pregnancies and I know so many women over 35 that are starting their families and have wonderful pregnancies and healthy babies. We are not too old to have our families. This narrow-mindeness makes me so mad! I wanted to tell her at least I did not get married because I accidentally got pregnant but I held my tongue I was above that. I told my husband our best revenge is by actions and to have a healthy baby and show her that a woman over 35 can have a healthy baby and that age is just a number. All of us ladies over 35 totally rock as pregnant women and new moms!! Thanks for letting me vent all your support to me has always been so wonderful!

::sprinkles magical baby dust on jrosehistory::

Smileygirl75 · March 2009

ChristineNYC:
a) of COURSE she's wrong. I'm so sorry for your miscarriage - but they can happen to ANYONE at ANY age.

b) how stupid and tactless of her.

c) I wonder if you *accidentally* posted her e mail address here if a FEW of us might write her and tell her how it is?

LOLOL!

Just try to laugh and feel bad for her. Folks who think that way have such a limited view of life.

Hang in lady

Christine

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!

jrosehistory · March 2009

Thanks ladies for the awesome support!! She also blamed my husband's use of Zoloft on the miscarriage he takes that for his anxiety attacks. We checked with the doctor before TTC and Zoloft does not affect the sperm at all and certainly did not cause the miscarriage. Geoff told me when we have our baby that we need to do two birth announcements a normal cute one and a funny one that has me with wrinkles and Geoff with a medicated look on his face holding our baby saying 'Proof that a old lady and a guy on Zoloft can have a healthy baby.' LOL I love my guy he always makes me laugh! Thank you ladies for all your continued support and Christine is right I just have to laugh and feel bad for her. Hope everyone is having a good Friday!

Jennifer

Temp159135562506975 · March 2009

girls at 20y/o have no clue. I know i didn't at that time - i thought 35 was old when i was 20... she'll learn - give her time... with age truly comes wisdom.

jetgrrrl · March 2009

Good luck to her when all her friends are going out drinking and she's stuck home fighting with her shotgun-wedding husband and a baby she wasn't ready to have! She might rethink the wisdom of waiting at that point.

And so sorry about the miscarriage - only a completely tactless biotch (at any age) would make a comment like that.