Bad News on the SA :(

LizzyB11

I got the call from my OB's office 5 minutes before my students walked in the door this morning. Not easy to pull yourself together and clean yourself up so you can be in charge of 26 10-year olds.

DH has low sperm count and low motility. Some of the numbers I got were bad. He has 70% immobile. Morphology was low. Motility was 15%. What in the world has happened to him since he fathered his daughters? I know he's under tons of stress at work-he works for a major bank and has been worried about his job since we got married. I am so worried about what he's going to say when I tell him that the next step is for a urologist appointment for him.

We had talked before we got married about just wanting the one child together. I was pretty sure it wouldn't be THIS hard, so I didn't think I'd be up for IUI or IVF, etc. Now with this news, I am rethinking everything way too much. What if we need to go there and he is reluctant to because he's already got some kids? Doing the SA was stressful enough. He brought me home some flowers yesterday because he didn't want to talk about it again! I won't even get to talk to him about this until after 8:30 tonight because we have the girls until 8:00. I just want to get through this day without crying in front of my students.

leffe1

Lizzy, I am so sorry to hear about your news. I don't know much about the subject but it seems odd that this would happen after having fathered his girls.

I hope you guys get a chance to talk about things and find some answers. Big hugs!! Hang in there!

BirdieBrd

I'm so sorry about this.  ((hug))

Laura Cochran

Oh Lizzy,

 

I'm sorry you got bad news. But I'm sure the urologist can work with him to get things working better. They were good once, so there is something there to work with. I hope your DH surprises you with his reaction. If not, just give him some time to absorb the facts before pushing the next step.

I find myself apologizing to DH all the time about having to go through all of this. His SA is tomorrow and I know  he is stressed and embarassed by the whole process.  I feel like I am putting him through all of this for something I want, since he already has a kid. He says he loves me though and will do what needs to be done.

Your DH loves you and will do what needs to be done. Don't give up on what you want. 

Stay positive.

QE2

Sorry for your rough day, Lizzy. (((Hugs)))?

joyfulnature

So sorry to hear this, Lizzy.

And what a tough morning you've had. ((((hugs))))

Don't give up hope. As others have said, there may be something a urologist can do to help DH.

We're here for you.

lmizgala@hotmail.com

Hi Lizzy, sorry to hear about the news.  What about re-testing in a couple of weeks?  I've heard that you can get very different results sometimes.

Hang in there!

hollymichael

First of all <<hugs>>.  I'm sorry for the bad news.  I am also sorry that you have to give your husband the news.  I can't believe you have to wait all day too.  Ugh.  I am sure you just want to get it over with.  I don't know much about the numbers, but I just did a quick search on fertilityfriend for you with sperm issues and saw all kinds of pregnancy charts.  Even though your DH already had kids, I am sure he will do everything he can to have a baby with you. Good luck!!

jen&gene

oh lizzy!  I am so sorry.  Hopefully when you and your hubby talk it won't be as bad as you think.  I am sure the urologist will give you some answers.  I know it is hard, but try not to get ahead of yourself......youre in my thoughts.

GymDogFran

It is the worst to have to wait to talk to DH about something you are anxious about!  When that happens, I often to start to imagine the worst,because I am upset already.  I'm sure it won't be as bad as you are imagining!

 Hang in there today and know we are thinking of you!

ToshaGirl

Lizzy! Oh babe. I am so sorry that you didn't get great news. But, as the very wise pp have said, your DH loves you and you will get through this together.  Try not to let your mind wander too much on all of the "what ifs" as you try to get through your day, I know that's not easy. 

We are here.....so come back as soon as you can and let us how things are.

Hugs to YOU!  

itsmexine

Oh, I'm so sorry Lizzie.  And what bad timing to get the news. Hopefully he'll continue to be open with medical testing to determine what the cause is. When DH and I talked about having kids we said we wouldn't want to do IUI/IVF but now we have both started talking about the what ifs. It's ok to change your mind knowing what you know now.

Keep an open mind with your DH, you just need some time to talk about it and discuss your options. In the mean time make sure he is wearing boxers, not taking baths or sitting in hot tubs or sauanas, etc. Maybe it was just a bad day for his army.  Let us know how it goes.

AnotherChance

I'm so sorry the news was not good. But, I agree with everyone else that your talk with DH won't be as bad as you think and that you and DH will make it through this. It was probably just a bad day for him and improvement is very possible! Hang in there and know you can lean on everyone here on the board whenever you need it. 

futurebabymama

I'm so sorry for the new Lizzy. I would look into retesting though. There can be so many factors that might have produced poor results. As far as IUI and IVF, I really thought I would never so any of that before TTC. Now that we are this far into it, we are taking it one step at a time. I am sure once you guys get a chance to talk about the results, you'll know what the best next step it. ::Hugs::

CharBart

I'm sorry you got bad news The positive part is that we are all hear to provide that shoulder whenever you need it...GL and hopefully the situation will get better

saverchic

Lizzy, I'm so sorry!  I hope everything went okay at school. 

jrosehistory

Hi!  I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. My SIL (she is 39 and her DH is 40) married a great guy with two kids of his own but they had problems getting pregnant for two years and could not figure it out.  His SA came back not good and the urologist found a blocked vein down there that was causing the problems. Once he had surgery to fix that his numbers went back up and they are now expecting their first child in May. I am hoping the urologist will find a good solution.  Sending you lots of hugs and support today!!