Some people just don't get it!!!

RFBsbride

Three weeks ago, DH's friend and his wife had a beautiful baby girl.

When they first called us, 10 months ago, to tell us they were expecting they asked when we were planning on starting a family.  We told them the struggles we are going through and of our decision to use DE.  It was then that they told us they were 'just about to start IUI" when lo-and-behold, they found out they were pregnant... yeah, yeah, good for you.

So, when the baby was born we called to congratulate them and they again asked if we were still trying.  We filled them in on how hard it's been for the past year and that yes, we're still TTC.

Well, in the past 3 weeks since the baby has been born we have gotten, no lie, about 8 videos of their new daughter (the newest one came this morning).  Each video has a sugary-sweet title like "Our Beautiful Daughter" and "God's Perfect Gift!" and "One Happy Family!"  The videos show the baby sleeping, the baby cooing, the baby getting her diaper changed, the baby with a bottle, the baby modeling her new clothes.  After the 4th or 5th video, I stopped watching them - I just delete them.  I can't help but to think this this "friend" is rubbing it in our face that he has a baby and we don't.  I'm sure that's not his intent, but it sure feels that way!  I mean, we aren't the only people the videos are being sent to- there's a ton of people on the distribution list - I just don't care to see them anymore.... it's way too hard.

Some people just don't get it!!!

caityr

Yup some people just do not get it.

The worst part is, I feel that a few of my IRL friends who also needed ART to conceive have conveniently forgotten that struggle and throw around advice and comments to me without thinking. Not that they forgot but they are not as sensitive as I would expect. I am sorry u were bombarded I would have deleted too.

Em&Bee

I hear ya, my friend busted her butt to get pregnant before us and of course it worked (what kind of a friend is that, anyway?).  I mean, literally, she's competitive like that (and younger).  So anyway, now she just acts all laid back, like she knows everything their is to know about motherhood.  Kind of like "oooooooooooh, don't worry, it will work for you someday"  It irks me. It's mean, like oh poor you, but look at me, I'm a success.  Who does that? I think I'm secretly trying to remove her from my friends list.  lol.

jlcrane78

I'm sorry to hear about their lack of understanding for the pain and frustration that you and your husband are going through.  I have some friends that get my situation better than others.  Some of my friends just really suck at relating.  There is a girl that I am friends with on Facebook that has not posted a single pregnancy picture of herself.  She is due in May.  I appreciate not having her pregnancy thrown in my face, especially since this is her 2nd child.  There is another girl with that I've known for a really long time.  She loves to post pictures and videos and updates on her baby girl.  That friend has PCOS.  It took her less than a year to conceive her daughter, though she still terms herself in the trouble trying category because of her diagnosis.  I get that she's excited.  I can't say that I am not going to go photo and video crazy myself.  It does sting sometimes, though, and unfortunately it's probably going to be that way until I am blessed with a child myself.  Sending you lots of hugs.   

jlcrane78

caityr:

Yup some people just do not get it.

The worst part is, I feel that a few of my IRL friends who also needed ART to conceive have conveniently forgotten that struggle and throw around advice and comments to me without thinking. Not that they forgot but they are not as sensitive as I would expect. I am sorry u were bombarded I would have deleted too.

Yeah, I think a lot of people want to put their struggle behind them once they become pregnant.  Sometimes I think I'll never forget, and I'll never stop talking about how hard it was and how badly I wanted it.  But I'm not in their shoes, and I have no idea what I would actually do at the end of the day. 

TheCalhoons

Your right. People don't get it. I have gotten a ton of advice from a friend how got pg on her first cycle off BCP. Needless to say she is an idiot and she knew about our IF before she started trying.