I just can't take this anymore

tierelieber

I need to vent about DD's reflux.

I can't handle it. She has been on three different meds and they haven't worked. She will eat 2/3 of her bottle and then start screaming. It is the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced in my life. The frustration tops the 34 days in the NICU. It tops the 15 months that my husband was deployed in Iraq. It tops everything. I try to feed her, she starts screaming, and I just lose it. I have to put her down and leave the room because I just can't handle it anymore. My pedi is a moron and doesn't know what to do. Finally, I called a specialist. I wish I had done so a lot sooner. The prevacid solutabs worked for one day, and DD ate so much and was so happy, and now, two days later, she is screaming again. I am so worried that something else is wrong with her. I am so sick of doctors and I know they ae going to do all sorts of tests with her. I feel so bad because she has never been "normal." She has never been without pain, without meds, and just a normal, happy baby, and it just kills me.

Originally her GI specialist appt was scheduled for April 21st. I am pretty sure I would have completely lost it by then. The office called literally 5 minutes later with a cancellation for tomorrow, so we are going tomorrow at 2:45. I am pretty happy about that, obviously, but my previous frustrations from a morning of a screaming and hungry baby have overshadowed that happiness.

Thank you for listening. No one else fully understands this situation like I know that most of you girls will. Hopefully something will be revealed tomorrow. I will keep you updated.

ijack

I'm sorry I know there are a lot of girls on here that can commiserate with the feeding issues. Hopefully your appt tomorrow will deliver some answers!

pmkmp

I feel your pain, I really do.  I know I broke down many times during DDs peak reflux and I've broken down over her other problems too.  I know how it feels to so badly want to be "normal." 

I'm so glad you put your foot down and called a specialist.  Hopefully you will have answers SOON!  Try to stay strong!

axh2277

Have you had her checked for a milk/soy protein intolerance?  The reason I ask is because DS was the same way - we would start something new (med or formula) and he would be great for a couple of days and then we were back to square one with him screaming and refusing to eat.  When he saw the GI the first thing he did was check his stool for blood and it was positive so he was Neocate and it helped so much.  Good luck tomorrow!

mek10976

Good luck and I hope the specialist has some insight and solution for your little one. 

pmkmp

Where's my head?!  I totally agree with pp about the allergy issue.  That is what happened with our dd.  She still has some reflux, but things changed drastically after switching her to Neocate (and using Prevacid).  The signs dd had of the allergy were: super dark stools, lots of gassiness, and of course, the reflux.  Sometimes rashes occur too.

vanna326

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am going through the same issue with my DS.  I am constantly calling the pedi ofc and talking to the nurse about how he screams and doesn't take the whole 3oz and then I have to go in and see the pedi for a sick visit and their solution the last time I went was let's up his dosage of zantac from .5ml to .6ml since he has gained weight and put 2tsp of cereal in his bottle.  Well, that didn't work.  I only did that for 3 days and with the cereal he was still the same.  Nothing is working and one day he is fine and the next I just want to loose it because he crys, pulls his head back when I feed him and after his feeds and all I can do to soothe him is sit down of the sofa and have him lay on top of me so he can fall asleep.  It is so hard and I wish you luck tom. 

TriciaJoy

Oh hon. I wish I could hug you. I've sooooo been there. Or I'd burst into tears begging him to eat and he'd stop crying to watch ME cry. Made me feel just fantastic. It's so, so hard. Definitely express to the GI doc how rough things are. It took a while for me to be heard. Robbie was gaining weight for a while so we got blown off. Then finally it got even worse and they finally took me seriously.

 In retrospect I wish they'd have listened to me earlier. I wonder if they'd have found his hernia sooner and fixed it, maybe he wouldn't have these permanent eating difficulties. But I think he was in pain for so long that he learned to hate the bottle.. so even though he's "fixed" now, he still doesn't each much.

It's just SO frustrating..

 

I'm so sorry.

 

lstaylor73

Sweetie I am so sorry for both of you!  I know exactly how you feel (times 2) and I am thrilled to hear they're taking you tomorrow instead of making you wait.  Don't miss that appointment for anything in the world.  I know the tests are awful but in the end you will know what you need to do for her.  I'm so sorry, but she is a happy baby and will be happier once all of this gets sorted out.  Once we had our GJ tubes put in the boys have grown and done more things developmentally that ever before.

 

HUGS!!!

RubyRed7

Thank goodness your appointment got moved to tomorrow! I really hope everyday is better from here on out!

tierelieber

Thank you so SO much ladies. I am having a HORRIBLE day. We are trying to put our condo on the market next week, so I wanted to start cleaning. I got about 10 minutes of work done. The rest of the day has been spent trying to feed Charden every hour and a half, crying, and watching her sleep on my chest. Ridiculous. She would only eat about 1.5oz at a time all day, and some how, miraculously, I just got 3 oz in her without much of a fuss.

a couple comments about your responses:

I'm pretty sure WWIII could break out tomorrow and I wouldn't miss the appt.

Charden had a bilateral ingenal hernia repaired on Jan 13.

I am definitely going to ask about the allergy- she has always been an extremely gassy baby. her stools used to be really dark, but have gotten better. If she has a BM tonight I'm going to take it in, just in case.

vanna- I would take DS to a specialist too. I remember you asking a bunch of questions a while ago. You have been struggling with his "reflux" as long as I have been. It's not worth it to wait anymore. My pedi's first step was also to increase the zantaz to .6mL and it did nothing.

I'm feeling better. DH is bringing home pizza and I'm going to pig out like there's no tomorrow. I am such an emotional eater. I'm also PMSing. It's wonderful.