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Adoption
Help me pick a country...
I have two boys that we adopted from Guatemala and unfortunately, adopting from Guatemala isn't an option now. We are looking into an international adoption of a little girl (or 2) at some point in time. My husband is on medication for anxiety and although it doesn't cause any issues, I know some places might consider it a mental health issue and therefore we wouldn't qualify. Any suggestions which countries we should start looking into? Here's a bit more information:
- looking into adopting a healthy girl
- would accept child ages infant to 4 years, would consider sibling group
- we aren't in a hurry so wait time isn't really an issue
- the less travel time the better since we do have two young boys
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Re: Help me pick a country...
Hi. Your boys are adorable. How about China? There is quite a wait, but almost all referrals are girls and you can request a healthy baby. I know that eligibility can be affected if there is medication for depression, but I don't know that there's anything spelled out about anxiety.
No way around the 2 weeks for travel though.
Good luck whatever you decide.
BB&J
Wow! Copilot, I'm so excited you're going back for 1 or 2 more.
I have also heard good things about Ethiopia and my understanding is they have short waits (<9 months at this point in time). Of course, I am partial to Haiti if you don't mind the long wait after referral (pros and cons). I am by no means an expert on what Haiti would or would not accept as far as anxiety. I think what would be more important is whether your husband's psych eval stated that it would not be a problem for parenting. I think the manageability of a diagnosis is typically more important than the underlying dx.
I don't think you have to travel for Ethiopia (but I could be wrong). You do not have to travel for Haiti, but it is easier to file your USCIS paperwork in country.
Keep us posted. And drop by a little more often to update us on your boys and any future little girls.
China was actually our original choice when we decided we wanted to adopt five years ago. Then we weren't eligable because we were too young. According to the law changes a couple years ago, you can't adopt if you are being treated for depression or anxiety.
I have heard too that Ethiopia has a great program and have friends that adopted two sister from there. DH and I are open to any race but I am not so sure how an AA child would be accepted by our community and our extended family, so I don't think Ethiopia is our best option.
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Columbia is a good choice if you want to maintain the Latin America ties. I've also heard that other LA counties (including possibly even MEXICO) will be re-opening now that The Hauge conventions are in place in the US.
If you're interested in Asia, Nepal is re-opening. There are also a couple of -stan countries with open programs (although I believe the travel times are long and price tags high). You could also check Tawian, but I don't know whether the anxiety issue will be a problem the way it is in China and Korea.
I'm not an expert on IA either and believe in DA. So with that said, in the US there is a great need for families who are willing to adopt full hispanic, african american and bi-racial children. Fees and wait time for these races of newborns tends to be less than 6 months and less than 20k (depending on agency/lawyer/facilitator used).
Good luck. Your boys are beautiful!
According to our adoption seminar, China will deny if you are being prescribed drugs used for depression/anxiety. I got the inpression that they could care less about whether the condition is under control or not.
Also China and Korea have BMI requirements as well. I don't remember what number goes with what country, but the BMI numbers must be under 35 for one and under 40 for the other. So they are against fat people too.
I'm adopting from Peru, and from what you stated, it could work for you, too.
Peru is a very poor nation in which many families simply cannot support their children. There are many "older children" for adoption there, many of whom have lived with their families for some time, because their parents cannot take care of them any longer. It's heartbreaking; often the children are relinquished after one parent dies and the surviving parent can no longer manage to support the entire family alone. There are also many "street children" in Peru who do their best to work and scavenge to get by on their own.
Further research showed us that Peru has, in recent years, been very serious about ensuring the welfare of these children. They are a Hague country, and their process is long and rigorous, but it's because they want to make sure that: 1) the children are definitely free for adoption; and 2) the families that adopt them are capable of providing homes in which they will flourish.
The orphanages in Peru are, by all accounts, very child- developmentally centered (we visited one in November and were comforted by what we saw). They provide age-and ability-appropriate education for the children, and do the best to help them overcome delays and unacceptable behaviors.
The process is a long one. After the typical homestudy and CIS approval, a dossier is sent to Peru, translated, and submitted to the agency in charge of adoptions. It takes 6-9 months for applications to be approved. In most cases applicants are asked to provide more information, which, of course, extends the process. Only AFTER the application is approved, do applicants begin waiting for a referral. Right now, referrals are taking about 8-12 months for healthy infants. My understanding is that Peru tries hard not to refer a child to a family outside of what the family has stated it believes it can handle, so we aren't really worried about being referred a child beyond our capabilities.
As an alternative to waiting for a referral, applicants might also select a child from the Waiting Angels list. The list is broken down into several sections: children over 5 years of age; sibling groups in which at least one child is over 5 years of age; children awaiting medical diagnosis; children with medical issues; and children with mental illnesses or delays. Peru is trying to get as many children on the Waiting Angels list as possible and to expedite the adoptions of those children. As a result, children on the list could range from having something as easy to treat/correct as cleft palate to severe disabilities and/or illnesses.
Once applicants accept their referral, they must travel to Peru. After a week or so of spending time with the child, they are usually granted custody. Then the Peruvian courts process the adoption. After that point, one parent (if a couple is adopting) is free to return home. The remaining parent stays with the child in Peru until they are granted a visa from the US Embassy and can return home together. In country time is estimated to be 6-8 weeks.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you an idea of the country, the state of adoptions there, and what the process is like.
To address a previous poster: Asians have a very different view of mental illness than we have in the US. The stigma is so great that one would never admit to having a mental illness until it became so severe (as in psychosis) that it was apparent to others. Therapy, which is a right of passage in some areas of the US, is not a cultural norm AT ALL in Asia.
I work on a drug for schizophrenia and we've actually heard that "Asians don't really get schizophrenia." And that's from doctors!
The BMI requirement for Korea is a Korean-agency specific requirement--of the 4 agencies, 2 have them and 2 don't. However, Americans can't always pick and choose with whom they work.
While these attitudes may seem dated to us, we cannot fall back on cultural relativism if we are going to be affective parents to IA kids. We must remain respectful of their birth cultures--both the parts with which we agree, and those we don't.
Hi! ?I see your little guy is named Will. ?I have a Will too! ?
We are looking into IA as well. ?Our top choice at the moment is Korea. ?They do have strict health requirements. ?If you are worried about the anxiety meds being an issue, you could have your husband's doctor write a note saying that the condition is under control. ?I'm sure a local agency would be willing to send the letter to Korea to get a "pre approval" before you invest any time or money into applying. ?I am doing something similar for a medical condition in my history. ?I do think that China is even more strict than Korea. ?The demand is so great for China, that they can afford to be very picky.
Other countries that come to mind are Taiwan, Bulgaria and Nepal. ?Russia and the Ukraine have older children available too, but I believe some ladies on this board have had problems with those programs. ?
GOod luck!?
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While I know there was a woman on this board that was approved for Korea despite her anxiety, that is not necessarily the norm. With my first Korean adoption (through Eastern) I had to have a letter from my therapist related to my sessions >5 years prior, without a diagnosis or meds.
More recently, my homestudy social worker said the placement agency refused to even attempt pre-approval with SWS for depression.
Basically, I think the homestudy agency has to downplay or fudge any diagnosis of depression/anxiety. IMHO, that's an ethical slippery slope in an area fraught with the potential for moral lapses.
Traditionally, Korea has been more stringent that China, and the new rules implemented in China closely mirror those seen in Korea (whith some age differences--China is 30-50, I think, and Korea 25-45). Each year, the number of children available for IA from Korea shrinks--last year I believe the number that came to the US was around 700--less than half of what it was at the peak.