"You need to speak Spanish to her..."

MellyMelB

I am getting SO freaking annoyed that people keep saying this to me. Dude, I am excited about the fact that my child is speaking so much and I don't care that it is in English rather than Spanish. I have horrible Spanish and am not even 50% comfortable a) speaking it and b) teaching her my broken Spanish. So, I leave that to my husband most of the time and I teach her words here and there. I do speak in Spanish to her when I think about it, which is maybe 30% of the time but it does not come easy to me and I have to consciencely think about it in order to do it.

I hate that people make me feel like less of a mom/parent for doing it this way. It makes me wish that I spoke no Spanish at all so that could be my excuse.

MRS.IHEARTMIKE

Ohhh yeah, I get that a lot too. I DO want Jonathan to speak Spanish because once he starts school it will be so hard for him to learn it so I try and teach him what I can but I'm not going to kill myself over it! Some people just don't understand...

:::HUGS!:::

Sandra&Chad

I understand what you mean. I get it all of the time that I should speak to the kids in spanish. ?Here is our deal. ?Chad is as american as they come. ?He does not speak one word of spanish. ?Jordan understands everything that I tell him in spanish, he just chooses not to speak it. ?I have been told to hold off teaching Alexis another language because she is just now starting to talk in English. ?Well Ian is just another story because of Lexi, we speak to them in english.

?

I think that we have to do what is best for our family. ?Whatever works for you guys, that is what works in your family. ??

MrsLeanna

Mel - I could have written that post myself (except for talking so much, she's not there yet)!!

Alexis says words in Spanish that I teach her but I still mostly speak to her in English.  I wish I didn't and that she would learn fluent Spanish like I did but I just don't think it's going to happen unless I hire a full time Spanish speaking nanny!!!

MariM

I really want Nadia to have to languages, that being said, It's SOOO hard to speak to her in just SPANISH! Especially when it doesn't come easy for ME. I feel like I have an awesome English vocabulary and she is going to learn so much more about the world if I speak to her in English. Now, I tell my husband he needs to speak to her in Spanish. ;-)

taxbride

Hot button topic!  DH speaks to Cedric exclusively in Spanish (well, almost exclusively--he slips once in a while), and I try to do both.  Like you, however, my English is so much better than my Spanish that I tend to speak English first. 

It is also important to me that my children speak proper English.  When people tell me that they'll "pick it up in school," well, that's not enough for me.  I know plenty of people who speak only English who, quite frankly, don't speak it all that well.  I don't want my children to be in that group.  But I'm torn since I also want them to speak Spanish and be more comfortable speaking Spanish than I am.  So I do try to speak to them in Spanish. 

I love that Cedric has words in both languages.  He is a true Miami kid, though: he already speaks Spanglish   "Abre door" and such.  Cracks me up.

Tania

MrsVictoriaB

I feel your pain! Everyone keeps telling me to teach Jake Norwegian (DH is from Norway) but I don't want to. If Jake wants to learn it when he is older fine, but I don't feel comfortable speaking Norwegian at home and neither does DH. But his relatives won't stop going on about it.. people here do too when they find out DH is Norwegian, it's like leave it alone people he will speak what we decide end of story

CesEve99

i dont think we will ever stop getting this from other people, but the truth is it was easier for us to learn spanish b/c we grew up in spanish speaking homes vs. our own children who are being raised in an english speaking home and learning spanish as a 2nd language.

i try but it's really hard. i'm basically the only one to do it at home since dh doesnt feel comfortable speaking in spanish at all unless its with his mom. we usually have a 1 hr block where we force ourselves to only speak spanish in front of mady but it usually turns into english really fast. my latest trick now is to translate items around the house. like if i say "mady quieres agua?....i'll usually turn it around and say "mady do you want water?" right after so she knows water is agua and so forth. or ill point at something and i go "leche" and then right after say "milk" etc....its hard though so i know what you mean... it almost feels like we are being criticized by others!

wrenr

Maybe this is one of those situations in which you have to reframe. They're not going to stop saying it to you so maybe instead of taking it as a criticism just remember that they're saying it because they know how difficult it is for older kids and adults to learn a new language. They probably regret not speaking more themselves and so they're trying to pass that on to you.

I know that my father very much regretted that my grandfather didn't speak to him in German when he was young. He tried to learn as an adult but he just could never get it, especially since he didn't live in Germany and had no real need to use it. But he regretted it because he knew that was his culture and that knowing another language is always helpful.

He made sure that my sisters and I didn't lose our Spanish, it was an obsession for him. Certainly my Spanish could be better, but I think I'm more comfortable with it than many others in Miami. I also made it a point to take classes when I was in college that would help me to improve it. It really is a lot more work when you're older though. Trying to read a book in Spanish, especially one above a third grade level, is very time consuming for me.

What it comes down to is what you find most important for your child to learn and what you think your child will want. Remember that right now a baby can't tell you that in the future he'll wish one thing or the other.  Don't let other people tell you what to do, but make sure you understand your reasons for getting so upset that people say this to you.

soontobemrs.rjd

when she are smaller, like Mady, it was easier for me to translate certain words into spanish, as Charlotte learned them.  However, now that she has full blown conversations with me, I would not be able to keep up with her in spanish, which is part of why I have stopped.  That being said, she has learned a LOT of her spanish from Dora and grand parents. She can count to 11 in spanish, I think, and knows words like "abre", "por favor", and "archo iris", etc.  DH understands a majority of what our families say in spanish although he doesn't feel comfortable speaking it, he can basically have a conversation with them in spanglish, where he speaks English and they respond in spanish and so on.  Hopefully Charlotte will be somewhere closer to my ability, which shamefully, isn't what it was before I moved away to go to college for four years ;o)

melly&jimmy

The ILs say this to us all the time.  My Spanish is horrible.  My parents spoke English to us so I never really learned.  They spoke Spanish only when they did not want us to know what they were talking about or when we were in trouble. 

When I first moved here - I spoke zero Spanish and had to learn enough to get by, especially for work.  My husband's first language is Spanish but he never speaks Spanish to the kids.  I do my best, especially with the basic words, agua, leche, bano, vamos, te quiero, etc.  But the ILs have said time and time again (in Spanish of course) that we are "ruining the  race."  My response to MIL - "Visit more and teach them yourself."  SHEESH!!  This is a hot button for me too!  I would love for my kids to learn Spanish --but unfortunately, they won't learn if from us.  When they're older -- maybe we'll get a tutor or something...I feel your pain...