DH - not what I expected

JBsBride36

Not that I expected it to be 50/50, but DH doesn't seem to get it.  He's gotten about 10 hours of sleep every night while I'm up with cluster feedings.  Then during the day if I ask him to watch DS for a while (even if it's just a few minutes to go to the bathroom) I come back and DH has him in the swing.  EVERY time.  Can't you hold your son for 10 minutes?  I don't get it, and it's really starting to upset me.

ourbaby08

Have you talked with your husband about this?  He can't read your mind and chances are maybe he just isn't sure how to care for the baby. 

JBsBride36

He's actually great with changing diapers, clothes, and baths.  But once that's done, there isn't much going on.  I have talked to him... he got a little pissed

ktutenis

We went through this and still are going through it.. but it seems my DH doesn't really know what to do with her.  And if she is happy in her swing seat whatever why not?  I am trying to explain to him that he needs to hold her sometimes or she isn't going to be able to be comforted by him because she won't know him.  It has helped though that now I am back to work part time and he watches her 4 days a week from 7-3.  He is realizing what I have had to do for the past 9 weeks!

jillybean222

Sometimes men have a hard time connecting with infants b/c they are not interactive.  Remember, you had 9 extra months to bond with your child.  Talk to him about it but don't be critical.  He probably just doesn't know what to do (or feels silly) so he doesn't do anything....make sense? 

iteachk

I'm in the same boat.  Dh is a wonderful father, but he doesn't interact with her.  I think when she starts "doing more" things will change.

ameliadaisy

sounds exactly like my house!!?

LucyPevensie

ourbaby08:

Have you talked with your husband about this?  He can't read your mind and chances are maybe he just isn't sure how to care for the baby. 

And she is?  (sure how to care for the baby?)  This kills me.  No one talks to "mom" about this kind of thing - and she's a first time parent too.  So having to "talk" to first time dad DH is BS.  When my DH pulled the "why is he (fill in the blank)" in regard to our son, I answered right back "I don't know, why is he?  You're as likely to have the answer as me.  This is my first time too!"  That said - 99.9999 percent of new dads do this - it's just reality.  Mine still does a lot less than me too - but he does more than he used to.  It does take time for them to get used to it because moms have more immediate instincts.  But tell him to get with the program!  And hang in there - it does all get easier down the road and dads get more interactive with the baby once the baby starts interacting more too.