speaking of religion...

TTCgradstud

DH is non-practicing Catholic and I was raised essentially without religious ties.  We grew up celebrating Christmas & Easter, but from a family gathering standpoint rather then for any religious reasons.  We never went to church as a family, my brother is the only one baptized because he & his wife got married in the Catholic church.  DH and I have a great picture on the cover of our profile of us by the Christmas tree.  Our agency has now (2 months after we sent it) decided that they want us to change it because it might turn off some BMs.  I love the picture- regardless of the Christmas tree and can't find another one I like as much. 

Plus if I BM doesn't want her child placed with a family that celebrates Christmas, wouldn't we be a poor match regardless???

Dr.Loretta

did they specifically say you should change it because of the religious connotation?

I mean, a lot of non-Christians celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday, tree and all...

CaptainSerious

I'm torn. Part of me completely agrees with you that anyone who objects to the fact that you celebrate Christmas probably won't be a good match.  Celebrating Christmas in today's society certainly doesn't imply that you are extremely religious!  The other side of me thinks that the agency is most likely experienced in these things, and probably has reason to believe it's better you leave the photo out.  I think the only answer here is to follow your gut.  Sorry I couldn't offer you any more clarity!

TTCgradstud

Dr.Loretta:

did they specifically say you should change it because of the religious connotation?

yes, that the tree might turn off a BM who does not celebrate Christmas.  

Temp206787500007404

Did they say it was for religious reasons? I've heard it suggested before that you should leave out pictures of any holiday celebrations, because they don't want the birthmother to imagine herself in that situation with your family/the gifts/the baby.

Of course, that could apply to any number of situations of the pictures we include in our profiles, but that's just something I read.

silliestbunny

TTCgradstud:

Dr.Loretta:

did they specifically say you should change it because of the religious connotation?

yes, that the tree might turn off a BM who does not celebrate Christmas.  

Wow...agreeing w/CS...the agency might have insight to what works best but considering that most reports are that 92-96% of Americans celebrate Christmas, it seems very extreme.  (BTW-  Same reports state that 60-65% celebrate Christmas related to their Savior.)

 

kirstenw05

That's really odd...my roommate years ago was Jewish and celebrated Christmas, and my current co-worker is Muslim and she and her entire family celebrate Christmas as well. In America, isnt it just the number one holiday for family and loved ones to share?? I am Christian and do give respect to the holiday for what it means to me - but the very traditions of Christmas themselves aren't really all Christian. The Christmas tree at the center of the OP is actually a Pagan contribution and has to do with fertility (I think, please dont hold me to it as fact) - but I know it has NOTHING to do with Christ.

Married3.22.03

TTCgradstud:

Dr.Loretta:

did they specifically say you should change it because of the religious connotation?

yes, that the tree might turn off a BM who does not celebrate Christmas.  

Wow... honestly, I would leave it if I were you.  I think catering a profile to fit a "mold" of what a particular person may or may not be looking for is kind of blurring the lines of giving a real representation of who YOU are and what her child's life with you would be like.  I agree completely that if an expectant mom doesn't want her child to celebrate Christmas, then obviously you wouldn't be the right choice for her anyway.

Honestly, you could drive yourself mad trying to pick *just the right* picture, or *just the right* phrasing, or *just the right* whatever.  Be who you are b/c that's exactly what these moms need to see upfront... not what the agency has "decided" you should look like.

jacksjerseygirl

It would really bother me if our agency tried to portray us as something we are not or tried to dictate how we look as a family. I would probably question whether to stay with them.

I agree with you - it would be a poor match and the agency shouldn't try to match you with a BM that doesn't celebrate or want her child to celebrate holidays or faiths that she doesn't agree with. So a picture is not relevant IMO.

And frankly, it seems to me that you would actually be a match with more BMs who celebrate christmas (either out of tradition or religion) than BMs who do not celebrate it.

 

kmkaull

I agree with you.  I believe that when a BM selects you it is for a specific reason . . . there's something about you that she likes.  For every one that it might "turn off", it might "turn on" another.