Judgey/Flameful, re: My douchebag neighbors

BubblyToes

I posted last night that our idiot across the street neighbors were attempting to put a rather large boat in their garage. 

So, this couple, they're in their late twenties, they have a little boy Will's age.  Neither one of them works.  The guy drives a Mercedes, chickey drives a Lincoln SUV.  Boat did not look cheap.  The house?  Not cheap either.  Chickey's dad is one of the builders for this development.  Obviously they're not paying for the house.  The child is always with one of the grandparents.  It's like a freaking party house at night over there.  There are constantly randoms going in and out with cases of beer/liquor. 

It just annoys me that we, and the others we've met here, work our asses off while these douches just sit around and play on daddy's dime. 

At what age should a parent require their child to become a responsible/productive member of society?

(There are other reasons I consider them to be douchey, especially the guy, but I will not go into them online.)

kittycarr

At what age?  From the moment of birth.  I bet when that girl was a kid, she was probably always at her grandparents as well while her parents d*cked off doing whatever.

KrisBriMcBunny

when child has finish college its time for parents to cut the cord so to speak.

jessicaclare

You know, I'm probably biased here, because my dad helps us out on occasion, but not because we need it. Its because he wants to, and he offers, we don't ask. He owns a masonry company and when we built our house, he really helped us do the general contracting (saving money) and using his contacts to get us deals. DH and I also both work for him, but we're planning on buying the business from him in a few years, so it would be sort of silly not to.

I guess my point is that you can help your kids if you have the means without making them dependant on you. Even though our paychecks come from my dad's business, we WORK for them. Its a job just like any other, with the benefit of a little more flexibility. 

~Kat~

I think it is something that should gradually happen throughout life. Their parents are doing them no favors by treating them like that. DH was the same way. He had no responsibility and was not allowed to do anything for himself until he graduated from college, then BAM he had to be a responsible adult. It will all come crashing down eventually.

LittleMamaB

Um, at eighteen. I'm not saying that parents shouldn't help with college and at hard times, but a child should be predominately responsible for themselves when they become an adult. JMO.

BubblyToes

jessicaclare:

You know, I'm probably biased here, because my dad helps us out on occasion, but not because we need it. Its because he wants to, and he offers, we don't ask. He owns a masonry company and when we built our house, he really helped us do the general contracting (saving money) and using his contacts to get us deals. DH and I also both work for him, but we're planning on buying the business from him in a few years, so it would be sort of silly not to.

I guess my point is that you can help your kids if you have the means without making them dependant on you. Even though our paychecks come from my dad's business, we WORK for them. Its a job just like any other, with the benefit of a little more flexibility. 

But at least you're working.  I don't consider that in the same league at all. 

JOEBunny

In my experience, parents who support their adult children end up with children who are not capable of supporting themselves and often in bankruptsy court, and I don't just mean middle class people.  I have seen some "wealthy" people end up there supporting worthless children. 

It does them no favors.  Maybe they are dealing?

Kapalua

what is it with you and neighbors with boats? =p

anyways...yeah, I can see how that is annoying. 

BubblyToes

Kapalua:

what is it with you and neighbors with boats? =p

anyways...yeah, I can see how that is annoying. 

I said the SAME thing to M last night.

Joe, I had that thought as well. 

gracendantho26

I hope the parents are going to be able to keep the gravy train going for life for these kids!

There definitely are kids that really don't need to work...DH has some from school. They live off of of gifted money, inheritance, their investment in companies etc. Some of them are cool and some not so much. But those people have millions and billions of dollars and will never need to work.

jen5-03

There's a difference between parents helping their children and fully supporting them. Helping your kids is never wrong as long as the parents want to and can afford it. My dad landscaped our backyard and built our backfence when we moved in (he did this himself with plants/cuttings from his own yard, he has no money) - but he offered to do these things because he wanted to and it was a gift to us. I see nothing wrong with that.

And I suppose if he had offered to buy us a house (and he could afford it), that we might have taken him up on that too... but I can't even imagine completely living off of him.

I think in the end it comes down to the kids' attitudes - if your neighbors acted like responsible adults, then you wouldn't even know they were milking their parents for money.

hopefulmom

How do they pay for food, clothing, utilities, etc. if neither of them works?  Could one be working and you not know it?

I don't have a problem with parents helping their children as much as they are able (if they want to).  My borther gave each of his grown daughters 5 acres of land (which is where they built their homes).  In his area...that is like handing them $150,000 or more.  My oldest DS still lives at home.  He has graduated from college but is not working in "his field" because there are no jobs to be had there.  He is working for a landscaping company doing many things...but no job security and NO benefits (health insurance).  At this point I don't think he makes enough to live on his own.  I'd rather him live here than with a girlfriend.  He pays for all his expenses but does not pay rent.  He rarely even eats at home (here).  If he turns 30 and he's still here...I woudln't care.  If my oldest DD lost her job and they had to move in here...we would allow that.  It wouldn't bother me if we had all our kids and their spouses and kids here if financially it had to be that way.  My parents lived through the depression and many times familes lived together.  It might come to that again.