Parenting

Cell phone for a 6-yr old?

We were at my niece's 6th bday last weekend and the IL's showed me what they got her.  A cell phone.  A real one.  A nice one.  Mind you, they are raising this child and I've posted here before about how they overindulge her in more ways than I can even begin to post.  I was totally put-off.  I think it's completely inappropriate.  And I imagine I looked like a total scrooge when they asked if they could program my number into her phone and I said no.  I don't want a kid who is barely out of pull-ups having my phone number programmed into her cell. 

Re: Cell phone for a 6-yr old?

  • I just don't see a need for it. Why would a 6 year old need a cell phone?
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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
  • imagejessicaclare:
    I just don't see a need for it. Why would a 6 year old need a cell phone?

     So she can call and text, duh!  

    I forgot to mention that they programmed a High School Musical song as her ringtone.  Barf. 

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  • But who is she going to call and text? Do her little 6 year old friends have them too?   I thought it was absolutely ludicrous when my 11 year old stepson showed up at our house one weekend with a brand new laptop that his unemployed mother bought him so he would stop bothering her...this is worse.
  • While I don't think a 6-year-old needs a cellphone, I don't disagree with elementary school children having them. I think they can be a valuable safety device, provided the child is taught its proper use.

    I do think it's weird that you wouldn't let them program your number into it. I love when my nieces call me on the phone -- I don't care what kind of phone they use.

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  • I'm kinda with August06.  I don't know about a 6-year-old having a phone, I don't necessarily disagree with it.  Hell, if I could, I would implant my kids with a GPS chip.  Not for real, but I am totally paranoid/freaked out about them getting snatched.  I always told DH that as soon as they were in school and away from me, I was going to get them one of those Disney phones or something.  There are phones for little kids that have a "Mommy" button, "Daddy" button and emergency button.  Assuming the kids are old enough to understand that this isn't a toy and this is for emergencies, I don't think it's the worst idea.  What about the kid that gets dropped off at the wrong bus stop?  Or Mom and Dad get confused about who was supposed to pick them up?  Or just something as silly as wandering off in a store?  Me, I'd like it if my girls could call me anytime anywhere and tell me to come get them if something was upsetting them.  But again, I'm so paranoid about things like this.
  • kids younger than 16 should not have a cell phone.  and if they do, it should be one of those kinds where the parent pre-programs in like 5 numbers, no more.  and no texting!!
  • my friend's 7 y.o. has had a cell phone since she was 5.5 years old - for emergencies only.

    She goes to a private school and her bus ride is about 45 minutes. Once she freaked out that she missed her stop and was hysterically calling her mom....   thankfully her stop was not for another 5 minutes or so.

    Another time one of the parents was trying to get in touch with another child and could not... and she could not get in touch with the bus driver either.... and then my friend was able to reach her daughter on the phone to make sure the other child was on the bus.

    I don't see anything wrong with using the phone for emergencies like this.

  • imageaugust06mom:

    While I don't think a 6-year-old needs a cellphone, I don't disagree with elementary school children having them. I think they can be a valuable safety device, provided the child is taught its proper use.

    I do think it's weird that you wouldn't let them program your number into it. I love when my nieces call me on the phone -- I don't care what kind of phone they use.

    Oh I love hearing from my nieces too, but this is a 6-yr old that is unsupervised with a cell phone.  I heard my FIL saying he was in a meeting with his boss when she called him like 5 times.  Of course, they all thought it was so cute, but that was enough to turn me off to the idea of putting my number into the phone.

  • imagetriplea1819:
    kids younger than 16 should not have a cell phone.  and if they do, it should be one of those kinds where the parent pre-programs in like 5 numbers, no more.  and no texting!!

     Why 16?

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  • I don't see why any kid below hs needs one. Even then, having the experience I have working with hs kids,  I think parents really need to look into restricted phone plans. Too many let their kids have unlimited text, internet, hours of talking, etc. If parents only knew the stuff their kids were texting or talking about! I think it's too much freedom, honestly. I hate it when I see a family out to dinner and the kid is texting the whole time.  
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  • imagejorie:
    imageaugust06mom:

    While I don't think a 6-year-old needs a cellphone, I don't disagree with elementary school children having them. I think they can be a valuable safety device, provided the child is taught its proper use.

    I do think it's weird that you wouldn't let them program your number into it. I love when my nieces call me on the phone -- I don't care what kind of phone they use.

    Oh I love hearing from my nieces too, but this is a 6-yr old that is unsupervised with a cell phone.  I heard my FIL saying he was in a meeting with his boss when she called him like 5 times.  Of course, they all thought it was so cute, but that was enough to turn me off to the idea of putting my number into the phone.

    Yes, that would certainly bother me too. That's just bad manners.

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  • If it were just for emergencies, I wouldn't have bothered posting this.  That's fine with me. It's the fact that this is an indulgence and they're laughing about her calling people at 6:30am and in the middle of work meetings, etc.  They've clearly not established that it's for emergencies only.  But I suppose that if there ever is an emergency, I'll retract my feelings and be relieved that she has it.
  • I can understand if the phone is for emergencies only, but unrestricted and unsupervised? No.

    I realize this is different, but there has been a lot of news about teens around here sending naked/inappropriate text messages and then those are broadcast around schools. I think it really makes the case for monitoring cell phone use!

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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
  • imagetriplea1819:
    kids younger than 16 should not have a cell phone.  and if they do, it should be one of those kinds where the parent pre-programs in like 5 numbers, no more.  and no texting!!

    That's a bit much isn't it? 

  • Personally I think kids that young should NOT have cell phones for a few reasons.  I don't think kids should be in situations where they NEED one (as for the example of the kid calling from the bus, why not just go and ask the driver???).  Also cell phones are full of radiation, and kids heads are more porous than adults, plus they tend to spend greater amounts of time on them.

    My kids can get a phone when they are a teenager and can pay the monthly bill themselves.

    Rebecca- mom to 3 kids: DS born 2005, DD born 2007 and DS born 2010.
  • My BFF bought her 6 yo a cell after her and her DH divorced.  It was kind of messy so she wanted her son to be able to call her no matter what when he was with his Dad.  Dad wasn't always totally with it in the parenting department.  It's preprogrammed with just her #, her x-DH's, and her mom's #. 

    But I get what you are saying about an unsupervised kid having a cell. 

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  • imagejorie:
    imageaugust06mom:

    While I don't think a 6-year-old needs a cellphone, I don't disagree with elementary school children having them. I think they can be a valuable safety device, provided the child is taught its proper use.

    I do think it's weird that you wouldn't let them program your number into it. I love when my nieces call me on the phone -- I don't care what kind of phone they use.

    Oh I love hearing from my nieces too, but this is a 6-yr old that is unsupervised with a cell phone.  I heard my FIL saying he was in a meeting with his boss when she called him like 5 times.  Of course, they all thought it was so cute, but that was enough to turn me off to the idea of putting my number into the phone.

    Your FIL should have shut off his phone or put it on vibrate/silent before going into a meeting with his boss...I would be embarassed if *anyone* called, even once while I was in a meeting with my boss.  The annoyances of having a cell phone can't always be traced back to the person calling.  If you don't want to be interrupted, you don't have to be. 

  • imageCiarrai:
    I'm kinda with August06.  I don't know about a 6-year-old having a phone, I don't necessarily disagree with it.  Hell, if I could, I would implant my kids with a GPS chip.  Not for real, but I am totally paranoid/freaked out about them getting snatched.  I always told DH that as soon as they were in school and away from me, I was going to get them one of those Disney phones or something.  There are phones for little kids that have a "Mommy" button, "Daddy" button and emergency button.  Assuming the kids are old enough to understand that this isn't a toy and this is for emergencies, I don't think it's the worst idea.  What about the kid that gets dropped off at the wrong bus stop?  Or Mom and Dad get confused about who was supposed to pick them up?  Or just something as silly as wandering off in a store?  Me, I'd like it if my girls could call me anytime anywhere and tell me to come get them if something was upsetting them.  But again, I'm so paranoid about things like this.

    Ditto this. DS will probably get one of those phones when he gets to 'real' school.

  • From Psychology Today:  Worth Reading:

     

    It's bad enough that today's children are raised in a psychological hothouse where they are overmonitored and oversheltered. But that hothouse no longer has geographical or temporal boundaries. For that you can thank the cell phone. Even in college?or perhaps especially at college?students are typically in contact with their parents several times a day, reporting every flicker of experience. One long-distance call overheard on a recent cross-campus walk: "Hi, Mom. I just got an ice-cream cone; can you believe they put sprinkles on the bottom as well as on top?"

    "Kids are constantly talking to parents," laments Cornell student Kramer, which makes them perpetually homesick. Of course, they're not telling the folks everything, notes Portmann. "They're not calling their parents to say, 'I really went wild last Friday at the frat house and now I might have chlamydia. Should I go to the student health center?'"

    The perpetual access to parents infantilizes the young, keeping them in a permanent state of dependency. Whenever the slightest difficulty arises, "they're constantly referring to their parents for guidance," reports Kramer. They're not learning how to manage for themselves.

    Think of the cell phone as the eternal umbilicus. One of the ways we grow up is by internalizing an image of Mom and Dad and the values and advice they imparted over the early years. Then, whenever we find ourselves faced with uncertainty or difficulty, we call on that internalized image. We become, in a way, all the wise adults we've had the privilege to know. "But cell phones keep kids from figuring out what to do," says Anderegg. "They've never internalized any images; all they've internalized is 'call Mom or Dad.'"

    Some psychologists think we have yet to recognize the full impact of the cell phone on child development, because its use is so new. Although there are far too many variables to establish clear causes and effects, Indiana's Carducci believes that reliance on cell phones undermines the young by destroying the ability to plan ahead. "The first thing students do when they walk out the door of my classroom is flip open the cell phone. Ninety-five percent of the conversations go like this: 'I just got out of class; I'll see you in the library in five minutes.' Absent the phone, you'd have to make arrangements ahead of time; you'd have to think ahead."

    Herein lies another possible pathway to depression. The ability to plan resides in the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the executive branch of the brain. The PFC is a critical part of the self-regulation system, and it's deeply implicated in depression, a disorder increasingly seen as caused or maintained by unregulated thought patterns?lack of intellectual rigor, if you will. Cognitive therapy owes its very effectiveness to the systematic application of critical thinking to emotional reactions. Further, it's in the setting of goals and progress in working toward them, however mundane they are, that positive feelings are generated. From such everyday activity, resistance to depression is born.

    What's more, cell phones?along with the instant availability of cash and almost any consumer good your heart desires?promote fragility by weakening self-regulation. "You get used to things happening right away," says Carducci. You not only want the pizza now, you generalize that expectation to other domains, like friendship and intimate relationships. You become frustrated and impatient easily. You become unwilling to work out problems. And so relationships fail?perhaps the single most powerful experience leading to depression.

  • 16 because that is the driving age. if you can drive, you are old enough to have a job and pay for it yourself!!!

     

    ohh and the entire cell phones in schools.  3 of my friends are teachers and they can not stand that kids have phone.  there really is no need for a kid to have a phone.

  • We got Zachary his cell phone for his 8th birthday.  He's not a phone talker, so it's definitely not for pleasure.  The reasoning was so that he had an easy way to reach us if he was with his egg donor and vice versa.  Later it became useful for him to call while walking home from the bus stop (the stop was on a busy street).  Now he walks to and/or from school, but there is a wooded path he takes...he calls and talks to me as he's walking home (there are no other children with him). 

    He does not answer the phone if a name doesn't appear (which means it's not a name/number I have programmed).  I have never given him his phone number (he's smart so probably he's figured it out by now).  Anyone that should have his number already does, given by me.  He's good about it too.  Egg donor gave his brother a phone for Christmas and he made sure she called me to ask permission before adding his number to his contacts.  I'm strict, but I have my reasons for the things I do, and for the most part he understands that -- he may not like it, but he understands.

  • If the child has a need (like Mrsterry mentions) I can understand one of those kids' phones but other than that, it is crazy to give a 6 y/o her own cell. 

    My kids will probably get one when they're 13 or so.  That's about the age I was going places without an adult and when I started babysitting.  My 8 y/o rarely talks on the phone, I can't imagine what she'd do with a cell. 

    .
  • How did my parents deal with parenting without me having a cell phone so young?  I walked home from school too.  And people were stealing kids and such back then.

     

    Diagnosed with PCOS June 2004 Abby born 2/2007 and Ally 3/2009 imagehttp://Life In Sublurbia.blogspot.com
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