Poll for moms of 2+

*sparky*

I see some moms say that it was so hard to go from one to two and then other moms say it was so much easier than they thought it would be, or than going from zero to one was. 

If you thought it was really hard, what was it that made it so hard?  Also, what is the age difference?  And if you thought it was easy, why do you think it was easier than the first time around?  And what is the age difference?

 

kylara111

Well, #1 was colicky, so compared to that #2 was a breeze.  I'd take 2 little ones over 1 colicky child any day.  Mine are 22m apart.  Its a lot of work though.  No sleeping when the baby sleep unless you get lucky and both nap at the same time so I think the sleep deprivation is worse.  Double diaper changes, trying to juggle feedings, they both need something at the same time, etc.  It sounds overwhelming, but its doable and I'm hardly a supermom.

emilykristene2006

For me, it's easier with 2. Age difference is 27 months.

I lost my mom when DD was 2 months old. I ended up really depressed. I was so uptight the first time around. Now I'm much more laid back. A toddler can do more for themselves so that helps.

I really don't know. Maybe I have grown into be a mom? I have been SAH for 3 years and struggled for the first 2. Maybe I'm just mentally happier?

DandelionMom

My older girls are almost exactly 3 years apart. The transition was easy for me. I wasn't so uptight/nervous with the second one and was able to enjoy every minute more. My oldest is a natural born big sister and we had few rivalries or outbursts. I expected some regression from her or something and there was nothing like that at all. 

 

UGAbride

I don't think it's any harder than I expected...my boys are 18 months apart, so for me the hardest thing is just that my toddler still needs to be carried sometimes (busy parking lot when he won't hold hands, for instance) and was still just a baby himself when his little brother was born.  Going from zero to one was MUCH harder for me, it was just a shock to the system becoming a parent for the first time (sleepless nights, loss of freedom, all the worrying/knowledge that being a mom brings).  It gets easier and easier!

gracendantho26

For me my 2nd was just a hard baby and my 1st was an easy baby. That's why the transtition from 1 to 2 was harder for me. Easy baby=easy transition and difficult baby=difficult transition.

Zenya

Mine are 2.5 years apart.  It was way easier going from 1-2 b/c

1 - I was aware that she might have dairy/soy allergies and was on top of that (went on elimination diet during pregnancy.)

2 - I already knew that I don't grow kids that want to sleep alone.  No worrying about that.

3 - I already knew that newborns nurse constantly so that's what I devoted myself to for the first week.

4 - I knew that none of the stuff that people obsess about really matter to me in the long run.  Baby is happy - case closed.  It's OK if she doesn't nap at predictable times.  If she won't sleep alone.  If she wakes up 50 times a night for a week (or a month!).  If she's sniffly.  If she doesn't want to leave my arms.  If she won't Go Down Awake after a Predictable Bedtime Routine.  It all seems so silly to me now but it CONSUMED me with my son in the first few months.

 

 

DaisyAdair

In some ways it was easier....I didn't freak out over every little thing.  Both of them had reflux.  With my 1st, I would panic at every cough thinking, this is it, she's choking!  Now, I don't do that.  I know not every cough is a sign of impending death....neither is every fever, sneeze, rash, etc.  So, in that respect, it HAS been easier. 

Mine are 11mo apart.  The hardest part is not having 1 that's independent.  My older one was walking by 10mo, but still can't do stairs.  So, I have to carry her down the stairs - from the bedrooms to the kitchen/living room and from the house to the basement to get to the car.  She can feed herself, for the most part, but it's still a mess and some things she can't do herself, food-wise.  She also has to be watched because she's at the stage where stuffing everything in her mouth at once is fun.  So, we don't all sit down to eat together and all get to eat.  Generally, I'm the one sitting there starving and feeding those two because DH is happily shoveling food into his face oblivious to everything.  Yesterday, in particular, pissed me off because we were at my parents' for an Irish boiled dinner and they're all eating while my oldest is stuffing potatoes and carrots in her face and she started choking.  They all told me, "Oh, no....you eat....we'll take care of her...."  Yep...that's how it goes.

She's also getting up a few times a night still.  And, they alternate.  So, the older one goes to bed at 8:30pm.....little one gets what's supposed to be her last bottle at 9pm....older one wake up and cries at 10pm....little one wake up and cries at 11pm.....older one again at 1am....little one wants to eat at 2am....older one up at 3am....little one up when DH gets up and leaves for work at 5am...older one up for the day at 7am.  Now, I don't rush in there every time they get up, but I also can't sleep when I hear wailing through the monitor.

Ideally, one would be able to walk more indepedently....and do stairs....one would be able to feed themselves better.....one would be sleeping better.....

It's physically and emotionally draining.  I'm tired.  But, I'm also in the middle of a rough pregnancy.  However, I think I'd still feel like a tired, hungry piece of crap even if I wasn't pregnant!  The pregnancy just gives me a reason to plant myself on the couch (supposed to be on bedrest....hahahaha).  

But, I was definitely more relaxed.  Which helped.  And, I got a horrible case of PPD after my 1st and I didn't have a terrible relapse with the 2nd.  So, that worked out pretty good.   

MarchMom06

gracendantho26:

For me my 2nd was just a hard baby and my 1st was an easy baby. That's why the transtition from 1 to 2 was harder for me. Easy baby=easy transition and difficult baby=difficult transition.

THis. Mine are also very close in age (13 months) & Sam wasn't even walking yet when Nick was born. Having two non-walkers was difficult & having two true "babies" was very challenging.