My Marriage

BusterJess

I just need some advice and need to just talk about this since I have not told anyone what has been going on with my marriage. 3 months ago DH said  did not have feelings for me anymore and that is still the current situtaion. And in case you ask this there is not another woman. So I don't know what I am supposed to do. He did not say he wants a divorce but I don't see how I can stay married like this. I told me we should go away alone with out the kids but he said that is not going to help. I don't see how his feelings will ever change. Basically I feel we have become just roomates. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Any advice would be great.

TIA

shopgirl_07

Would he agree to counseling? Obviously something needs to happen, otherwise I don't see how your marriage can survive. I'm sorry.

BusterJess

He won't go to counseling. I am just so upset over this and the worst part is I still feel the same for him. My feelings have never changed.

MarchMom06

I'm so sorry. That sounds very stressful & incredibly difficult for you. Have you thought of going to individual counseling, just so you can get someone to help walk you through this difficult time?

I think if my DH shared those thoughts with me & refused counseling, I would have no option but to leave him.

ppants

I agree that counseling is the way to go.  Maybe you can start with yourself then have the counselor ask him to come "to help you" and then go from there. 

tammy79

I just want say how sorry I am that you are going through this, and?agree?with the pp's?about?the?counseling, even if?it's?just for you.

*sparky*

I feel really sad for you - I would be so upset if my DH said that to me.  At the same time, you have two young children at home and that can put a serious strain on a relationship and it's normal to get disconnected.  But both people have to be willing to work on the relationship and make it better.  You can't just say this is how I feel and I'm not going to do anything to change it.

So he does not want to go away and he does not want to go to counseling - I would ask him if he does want to do anything to improve your relationship.  If not, then what does he expect? That you just deal with living as roommates for the rest of your lives?  Who would want to live that way?

If he won't go to counselig with you, then I would suggest going on your own.  That would be a difficult thing to deal with.

TwoChickens

Hmmmmm...you sound like me.

1.  Seek counseling for yourself.  It'll help you deal with whatever your H throws your way.

2.  Decide just how long you can tolerate living like that.  The longer you wait, the harder it gets.  Trust me on that.

 3.  Think about the kids.  How do they see your interaction with your H?  

There are MANY factors involved in whatever decision you make.  It won't be easy so I wish you luck!!