M and I are supposed to go to a birthday party for his BFF tomorrow night. My sister is/was coming to baby-sit Will. Now she may not come because I told her she couldn't bring her boyfriend. We've met this boy once, briefly, at the funeral on Monday. We've spent all of five minutes talking to him. I know his name and that he's 20 and he drives a motorcycle. That's the extent of what I know about him. I'm not really crazy about someone I don't know staying in my house with my child while I'm not there.
My sister flipped out saying I didn't trust her, I didn't want to get to know this guy, blah, blah, blah. Now she doesn't know if she's going to baby-sit because we won't let the boy come.
Am I overreacting? It would be one thing if we were going to be here, but we're not. It would also be one thing if we actually knew more about this kid. Ugh.
Re: Did I overreact?
I wouldn't like a boyfried coming over... more so because I think it would scare Jake. He doesn't really like strangers.
I don't think you overracted.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
She is totally overreacting. I wouldn't want someone I didn't know there either.
We actually are planning to get SIL to sit for us semi-regularly (and she offered) and since her boyfriend lives in the next street to us and that's probably where she'd go afterwards rather than cab across town to her place, we thought we probably should say she can have him over. But before we do that we need to spend some time with him. We've barely met him so far.
Totally with you on this one.?
I wouldn't be comfortable with that, either. So I don't think you overreacted.
If you screamed it at her or called her names while you said it, then you overreacted. I don't think you did either, so you're fine.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
See I'm afraid JoeBunny is a bit like your sister, she sees everything as a trust issue. Same for her views on teen sex actually.?
I don't. I could trust SIL (or your sister) to the ends of the world. But it doesn't mean I have to trust the person they bring. I do not hold them responsible for another person, I think that's a good thing.
Its also about appropriate boundaries (like teens not having sex is). She's there to babysit, so its fair enough to say that new (to you) people are not on the agenda in your house that night. ?
MMML.... WTF are you talking about? How on earth does this have anything to do with my views that that teens should have access to birth control. You don't even have a sibling, so what would you know about it?
FWIW, my sister does not have a history of doing responsible things or making good decisions.
She just cancelled on me. Looks like M is going to the birthday party by himself.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
Sorry Bubs, that's sucks.
To clarify, if it was my sister's long-time boyfriend or something of that nature and we had met him several times beforehand, I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it. But that's not usually the case with her (my sister).
And ew. What if they banged on your couch??
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
That's it exactly. If she had been with the guy for longer than a few months and we had actually spent some time with him, then it would be no big deal at all. I wouldn't think twice about it. I just don't know this guy from Adam's housecat.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
I would let her bring him. as long as you trust your sis to be a vigilant sitter, then I wouldn't mind if he was there. now if she left to go pick up a pizza and left will home with the boyfriend alone, then THAT would be a huge issue, but as long as she was the one "watching" him, I don't think I'd mind.?
also, what time is the party? is will going to be asleep most of the time they are there??
ditto, my thoughts exactly
I personally would have set the same limit.
IMHO, she is coming over to watch your child, and Will has to be her first priority. Distractions like friends/boyfriends takes attention off your child (especially if it's a new relationship - I'm guessing most of us know how distracting a new boyfriend can be, even for the most trustworthy and responsible people!) Personally, I'd also want to know the guy better first before he's left alone with my child - just like I wouldn't let someone I barely know (female or male) watch my child, why should this be any different?
Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09
My blog: Bear With Us
Ideas on Teaching Your Toddler/Preschooler at Home
ditto me too.
ditto me too.