Why do you think kids these days are so disrespectful?

MelandJeff

FYI- I am NOT talking about my DD, She is naughty, but not disrespectful.

I am talking about these kids now days that just seem to have no regard for adult respect. Not for their parents, teachers, elders, etc...I just see it much more now than before and it really scares me.

kevschickee2

because they don't fear the adults or the consequences like we used to. 

mrsterry

I honestly think it's because they have no fear.  They have no fear that their parents/teachers/any adult....will "kill" them if they misbehave.  Almost every child knows that all they need to do is call 911 and everything will be over.  Not good for a scare tactic....and yes, some children DO need scare tactics....not all, but some.

katie277s

IMO, I think it has a lot to do with their upbringing.  Even parents with the best intentions can end up with a disrespectful child if they always give in to their demands, never punish, and become a pushover.  I know we all feel the "mommy guilt" but part of that is ensuring that our children know that things are not always fair, you will not always get your way and you need to listen and respect your elders.

MelandJeff

 What consequences did we have then that we are lacking now?

amiamish

SPANK THEIR AZZ WHILE THIER LITTLE!!!! LOL j/k kinda

Because parents cant PARENT any more without someone watching and criticizing.

 

DandR

because parents don't parent...and teachers can't discipline without hearing about it from the parents...and I'm not saying corporal punishment...I'm saying they can't make kids have a detention, a Saturday school detention, extra work or anything without probably half or more of the parents biotching the teacher out for doing that "I can't pick my kid up later...I'm here and he needs to leave on time."  "you can't take him off the football team..he loves it too much."  etc, etc.

Sooo, why should kids respect teachers/parents when its not enforced!

Thats my theory.

gracendantho26

Because they aren't given boundaries and their parents coddle theshit out of them. Oh and add the that the laziness of many parents who do not show their kids respectable behavior.

Marce921

katie277s:

IMO, I think it has a lot to do with their upbringing.  Even parents with the best intentions can end up with a disrespectful child if they always give in to their demands, never punish, and become a pushover.  I know we all feel the "mommy guilt" but part of that is ensuring that our children know that things are not always fair, you will not always get your way and you need to listen and respect your elders.

Ditto. I also think there are a lot of parents these days who want to be "friends" with their kids and that just doesn't work!

getnmarried910

Because their parents don't instill it in them.  And because they know they can cry "abuse" if they get a spanking or whatever.  It's only going to get worse if they pass the Convention on the Rights of the Child treaty.  Then kids will know they can do anything they want and if they don't like their consequenses/punishments, the can go to the government and they can overturn it. 

AnnapolisLari

As a former high school and middle school teacher, I can give you a semi educated opinion on this one.

It started way back when TV shows started portraying mouthiness and backtalk as cute and funny. Think Full House with those stupid Olsen twins and cartoons like Rugrats. It started a landslide, and even Disney movies have a lot of things in them that I frankly don't want my kids to see.

Combine that with parents who are either so full of guilt that their kids are in day care that they let them get away with murder, or the ones that want to be "friends" with their kids, or the ones that are afraid that their kids won't like them if they lay down the law, and voila!!! You've got a ton of kids who don't have any respect for anything.

 

snickerdoodle27

Because they can get away with it. Laws prohibit teachers from laying a hand on students. If a parent smacks a child, the child can be taken away! It scares parents and teachers to discipline kids. I'm not one for spanking, but soemtimes they deserve it. I got it when I was younger and did something really bad. Guess what? It didn't make me a bad person! I think respect is taught first in the home, and parents have to set an example.

Marce921

DandR:

because parents don't parent...and teachers can't discipline without hearing about it from the parents...and I'm not saying corporal punishment...I'm saying they can't make kids have a detention, a Saturday school detention, extra work or anything without probably half or more of the parents biotching the teacher out for doing that "I can't pick my kid up later...I'm here and he needs to leave on time."  "you can't take him off the football team..he loves it too much."  etc, etc.

Sooo, why should kids respect teachers/parents when its not enforced!

Thats my theory.

Ditto this too. I remember having a teacher with a wooden spoon she'd hit you with if you misbehaved. Not saying that this should be able to happen again, but teachers do need to be able to discipline!

elm1032004

There are a lot of adults that are trying to be "friends" with their kids or students instead of being the parent or teacher or other authority figure.  I think that, coupled with the fact that often times there are no real consequences when they do something wrong kids feel like they have a free pass.

pincushions

because we live in a society that ingrains in children that no matter what they do it isn't their fault.

because we live in a society that thinks that every child should get to play a sport and be on a team even if they aren't as good as the other kids.

because we live in a society that believes that their children don't have to respect adults unless they "deserve it".

I could go on.....

 

Temp108743750006959

I agree with DandR 100%. And I don't think it has a thing to do with spanking. As a former SPED/ED teacher, the reason my classrooms was successful was because if I took away recess or a treat (or gave rewards rightfully earned), the parents supported that decision. Time and time again, I heard parents fight against good teachers -- usually selfish parents with personal and emotional agendas. (And not to say there aren't bad teachers out there -- there are)

Sarahb34743

OMG, all of these are such good points I want to qoute them all! lol

kevschickee2:because they don't fear the adults or the consequences like we used to. 

Thats the 1st thing I thought when I read the subject line. 

AnnapolisLari:

It started way back when TV shows started portraying mouthiness and backtalk as cute and funny. Think Full House with those stupid Olsen twins and cartoons like Rugrats. It started a landslide, and even Disney movies have a lot of things in them that I frankly don't want my kids to see.

I agree 100%...I usually monitor DD's TV watching pretty closely. I even use the TV ratings guide to block things on her TV, she hates it but oh well. Just last night we were watching iCarly on Nickelodeon, I didint think anything bad of the show until this child hit another childs PARENT in the face with a ball because "she gave birth to him"...umm thats rude and I'd be beyond pissed to see my child do that. They shouldnt be showing such behavior as comical on childrens TV shows.

And gracendantho26 has a point...if parents arent respectable how do they expect their children to learn? DH is a new parent and I tell him all the time that you have to be respectable and show respect in order for DD to learn to reciprocate(sp)

MelandJeff

pincushions:

because we live in a society that ingrains in children that no matter what they do it isn't their fault.

because we live in a society that thinks that every child should get to play a sport and be on a team even if they aren't as good as the other kids.

because we live in a society that believes that their children don't have to respect adults unless they "deserve it".

I could go on.....

 

Pinny- MH has said the exact same thing as you, word for word.

stacynikki

Because parents don't demand respect from their kids.  My sister doesn't from her kids and they walk all over her.  My BIL does from his kids and they are very well behaved and so very polite to others.  We do from DS so we'll see the results of that soon enough I guess.  Too many parents think their kids can do no wrong. 

And I agree with everything Pin said. 

eclaires

I agree with pin.

I also think parents trying to be friends with their kids is a big issue, as well.  There's a time and place for that and IMO it's when your kids are adults, too.  Not when they are still kids.

I don't tolerate backtalk even now - Jackson is a toddler but occasionally he'll yell NOOOOOOOOoo at me or be rude like that, and he is immediately punished.  We do NOT talk like that in this house, period.  No matter the age.

And really I do think it is a lack of fear in kids today - my parents did not abuse me, in any way, but I was scared shitless of disappointing them or doing something wrong.  I had a teacher that used to say "a little fear never hurt anyone," and I think she's right.  If you're not afraid of the consequences of your actions, what stops you then?  ESP for teenagers and the like who have poor judgment and are subject to peer pressure and hormones and whatever else.

Starr_Mom

pincushions:

because we live in a society that believes that their children don't have to respect adults unless they "deserve it".

This is my biggest argument with DH. He was brought up that adults needed to earn his respect. Then, as a child, he hit his teachers, got suspended regularly, fought with classmates, etc. He had a HORRIBLE upbringing (not completely his parents' doing... they were babies raising babies and they lived in a VERY bad area) and I do not want my child to be this way. Kids need to respect adults regardless of their attitude towards them. It's like if your boss is a wank. You respect him anyway, because he's the authority. You don't have a choice.

mauceddie

AnnapolisLari:

...parents who are either so full of guilt that their kids are in day care that they let them get away with murder....

 

I think this.

Zenya

I can't believe that a lot of you seem to think it's b/c we can't hit our kids anymore.    wtf?  That's the only thing that made you a responsible adult?  Absurd.

I think it has to do with parents who worship their children (my child can do no wrong). Under-supervision.  

You don't have to beat your kids for them to respect you.  

meglew

AnnapolisLari:

It started way back when TV shows started portraying mouthiness and backtalk as cute and funny. Think Full House with those stupid Olsen twins and cartoons like Rugrats. It started a landslide, and even Disney movies have a lot of things in them that I frankly don't want my kids to see.

I agree with so many things that people have said, but I especially agree with the above poster's quote.  I think that today, kids have a sense of entitlement.  Look at shows like My Super Sweet Sixteen, The Hills, etc. that kids are watching and learning from.  They feel that they deserve x,y,z and that if they complain enough they will get it - and usually do.  As parents we always want our kids to have the best, but my parents instilled in me that you have to earn it.  I think that kids are not held to that standard anymore.