I feel so weird this morning

joseysbride

Okay, so pretty much everyone knows we have the big u/s today.  I have been so excited and impatient about it.

But two days ago, I learned that a friend, who is due any day now had found out at her 20 week u/s that her baby had a spot on it's brain, and may possibly be born with downs syndrome.  I met this girl through one of my good friends, and have actually never met her in real life because she lives far away, but she is into photography, so we have been emailing eachother regularly for months now.  I didn't even know she was pg, and she is always asking me about my pregnancy.  Why didn't she tell me?

Our mutual friend says that she never talks about it, and is really having a hard time with it all, which is completely understandable.  But now I am so worried about her, and I feel so guilty that all this time I have been going on and on about my pregnancy and how I can't wait for the u/s, etc. and she has been dealing with this.

Obviously there is nothing I can do right now, but I just don't even know what to say.  You know, it is just hard to know that someone is hurting and there is nothing you can do, and I really hope that I haven't made it harder for her with all my pregnancy talk.

Anyway, there is no point to this other than to just get it out there.  Every morning on my way to work I do my morning prayers, and this morning I couldn't get through it; I was sobbing.  I am emotional because I know she is having a hard time, and I am emotional over all the what if's about what my u/s may bring.  There are always risks with any pregnancy, and I guess it is just easy to overlook that.

xbrooklyngrl

I'm so sorry. Maybe she didn't mention it to you because she didn't want you to have the what ifs for your self. Its ok to hurt for her and worry about her.

You will be fine, try not to worry and enjoy today, you will get to see the baby, healthy and finally tell us...I mean find out what you are having

HUGS!

Temp86398625009737

I have those same thought while even TTC our second child. This is our 2nd month and so far both months I worry about any problems/complications that could arise if I do have dc#2, and how that would affect dd..it is all I worry about sometimes!! 

vtgirl

Our big u/s is tomorrow and even though we aren't going to find out (at least I think so...) I am still worried about the health of the baby. My DH says not to stress and I am trying not to worry about it but I could barley fall alseep LAST night- wth am I going to do tonight!??! Anyways I think it is perfectly normal to worry about the health of your child! GL today and I cant wait to see your update later on!

docmay25

She may not have mentioned it because she is still processing it.  Or because she didn't want you to feel awkward.  Just be there for her, if she needs to talk.

I can say from my experience of losing a full term baby, I was still happy for my friends having babies.  Around the same time that I lost Samuel I had a lot of friends having healthy babies.  I was happy for them because just seeing a healthy baby felt good.  I think just keep yout thoughts with her family like you have been and be there if she needs to talk.

As for your u/s, good luck and enjoy! 

joseysbride

Yeah, you guys are right.  The thing is, I'm am not a worrier when it comes to this stuff.  I usually have the mindset that I will deal with it when it comes.

I think more than anything I am worried for her and her baby.  I feel guilty for having no worries, when she is dealing with something like that.  And thank you docmay for your thoughts.  I'm so sorry for your loss.