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1st Trimester
SethandSara
member
Day care versus SAHM
SethandSara
member
If you were able to quit your job or take time off of work, would you? My concern is that child care is incredibly expensive (more than half of my month's pay), plus I'm worried about illnesses that run rampant in day care environments.
My question to you is, if you could take the time off, would you? Have you experienced your child getting sick very frequently from the day care they are in? This is a big decision for my hubby and I and I'm trying to gather opinions from other mothers and expectant mothers. What are your thoughts?
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Re: Day care versus SAHM
I have friends with kids in day care and my niece goes to preschool a few times a week. The colds and sicknesses passed around my family and my friend's family are crazy. I know it is unavoidable for some people, but financially for us it probably won't be worth it. I already drive 1 hr to / 1 hr from work, plus I work a 10 hour shift, leaving my DH to deal with the baby a lot of the time when they're not at daycare. The cost of daycare, plus my gas, and speedpass on the highway, and me not being home with my child is not worth it to us.
I am not going back to work after I have the baby. I will find something to do on the side for extra money. We are saving all my paychecks while I'm PG for our cushion. GL in your decision!
I'm already a SAHW, so this question doesn't directly apply to me.
I am super-busy with volunteer work, boards and committees, etc. So, we're looking in to nanny-shares. ?We'll propbably use a nanny 2-3 days a weeks so I can continue my volunteer work and to socialize our child. ?If we share the nanny with several other parents, we can save a lot of money and avoid a group daycare. ?
From what I've observed with my friends' children and with my nieces and nephew, the kids seem to develop immune systems pretty quickly and they either spend their baby and toddler years catching things from their peers or their entire pre-school and kindergarten years doing the same.?
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6 figures a year? What may I ask do you do? I'm a teacher and don't make half of that. And day care for $150 a week?!?! Woah...ours is $1100 a month!
I am a product manager for a medical company - it definitely pays the bills! I also work 70+ hours per week and travel all week - it will simmer down when I have the baby. And yes, its insane, but its really only $150 per week (and that's the "expensive" one)! I moved from the Northeast to South Carolina and the cost of day care, schooling, real estate, etc. is MUCH lower. We are lucky because I know care is much more expensive in other parts of the country.
I plan to stay at home for 2 years after Junior is born. Child care is very expensive, plus we're military and we will probably get short-toured this next time (1-2 years in a place vs the normal 4 years). Just doesn't make sense.
I also think that if my child is 2 or older I'll be better able to pick up on something going wrong at day care than with an infant.
We're dreading the loss of income..but it'll SO be worth it.
I have a Bachelor's, Master's, PMP Certification, and make a great 6 figure income. I also own my own business that I love which I may take on full-time again after the baby in order to set my own schedule and be at home more.
However, a job is just a job....a career just a career. I don't feel any loyalty to my job/career whatever it may be. I don't feel like I would have wasted any education or wasted my experience becoming a SAHM because I can always go back to that.....or work remote and still be with my baby technically.
I think being a SAHM is one of the best jobs in the world to devote your time and attention to your baby. I think that my loyalty is to my baby and making sure that that first year is the best year possible. There is nothing about my childhood that I remember more and with more love than having my mommy at home with me teaching me, singing nursery rhymes with me, and cooking me a great meal every night. I would love to give my child the same thing. Although...some SAHM don't do those things so I think they are better off at work and the kids at daycare.
I work a couple days a week, but I"m paid well and my daycare is CHEAP (a friend owns the center). This is an incredibly personal decision, but I'd just like to point out that your child will get the run of the mill colds etc NOW or they will get it when they go to preschool. You aren't going to be able to avoid that, so you have to take your pick.
Also, for me, the interaction with other kids for DD is PRICELESS. You really wouldn't believe how important that is. I'm not saying that she doesn't get interaction other places (we do playdates and whatnot on days I don't work), but you are going to have to work that much harder to make sure your child gets that experience if its important to you. JMO.
Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
This is totally a personal decision, nothing more. I work but also don't send my little boy to daycare. We are fortunate enough to be able to afford a full-time caregiver to come to the house. It works out great.
Having said that, I know a lot of people who send their kids to daycare and have no problems. The kids actually seem to love it. Whatever you decide to do, YOU (and your husband of course) are the only ones that need to be happy/comfortable with the decision.
6 figures?! what do you do? and then how do i do that? ::turning green from envy::
edit: okay, i should read the replies. you already said what you do. i'm still jealous. at this rate, i'll NEVER make that kind of money no matter where we live.
About the illnesses, think of it this way - would you rather your child get sick now and build up an immune system, or would you rather he go to preschool and get totally hammered with viruses and miss many days of school? My nephew is now in kindergarten, and he never gets sick. He started daycare at 3 months old.
My DS also started daycare at 3 months old. He got frequent colds, but rarely got anything more significant than a sniffle because he was exclusively breastfed.
I'm finishing my Ph.D. right now from home, and I'll still be doing that when the baby is born. I'm thinking it will take me another 2 -3 year. If I need to supplement my DH's very good income I teach one or two classes at a local college or tutor, but that only requires 7 or 8 hours away from home each week.
We'll probably get someone to come in a few days a week so I can work. But even when that person is there most of the time I'll be at home. I'm excited that the timing worked out really well so I can be at home with my baby and still continue working towards my career.
From what I've observed with my friends' children and with my nieces and nephew, the kids seem to develop immune systems pretty quickly and they either spend their baby and toddler years catching things from their peers or their entire pre-school and kindergarten years doing the same.
Ditto this exactly, I'm a SAHM now but you should decide whether you can afford to stay home as your reason rather than being afraid of your child being sick. Finding and extra income when you stay at home is not easy and almost impossible so I wouldn't rely on that when you make your decision.
DH and I have literally been talking about this all day today.
Best case scenario, I would stay home. Right now that isn't financially doable, so we can't. Daycare will also take up half of my salary. but we can't live without that other half.
I am going to stay home for 1-2 years and then go back to work part-time until baby goes to preschool. I want to be able to socialize my baby but I also remember how important it was for me to have my mom home with me. I'm a teacher so I'll be home right after school with them anyways when they begin school.
It's totally a personal decision though. I know a lot of people who want to take a break and go to work for a bit everyday. For me, my husband works nights and being home will be nice since I'll see him more too.
We are planning to do it a little bit different. My husband will be staying at home. I had my house and all these bills before we got married and could afford it, so we should be fine with him staying home. I am the breadwinner in our family. In about a year the baby will go to daycare 2 days a week for the social aspect.
My niece started at about one going two days a week. Yes, she gets the occasional cold, and comes home smelling like "daycare" (per my BIL) but the social aspect is very important. She has learned a ton about sharing, playing with others, and taking turns. The group activity is very important.
I worked until my daughter was nine months old. My job was very demanding, high stress and took me away during evening hours too.
We made lots of cutbacks for me to stay home, but it was the best thing I've ever done. I think my daughter and I are both much happier. I'll go back once she's older, but I'm so happy to be there with her every day. She still gets sick on a regular basis. We see other kids at play groups, eating out etc. I don't really think being a SAHM will insulate your kid too much unless you really SAH. I actually SAH about once a week.
Best of luck. It is definitely a decision you and your husband both have to be 100% on. I have a SAHM friend that her husband resents her for being at home and the income loss and it has really put a strain on their marriage.
DH and I are both teachers, and our DS currently goes to a friend's house during the day during the school year. (She's been watching kids out of her house for years now.) The new baby will stay with my mom (who happens to live next door to the sitter) after my maternity leave is over until he/she is 6 months old, then will also go to the sitter's house.
It works very well for us. We consider ourselves extremely lucky though; I know that our situation is not common.
Oh, and I think that the sickness thing partly depends on the child too. DS is only with about 4 or 5 other kids, and he's only been sick (colds) twice this year. My cousins' DC, however, is in a similar situation at a sitter's house, and he has been pretty much constantly sick since the day he started going there. But then he's sick during the summer when he's not there too. (They're teachers too.)
Good luck with your decision!
I'm honestly not sure. I really love my job, but I wonder if I'll feel different once I have the baby.
We won't need to put the baby in daycare until he/she is almost a year old though, so that makes me feel a little bit better about the illnesses and such.
I am the wage earner in the family so I can not quit work. I direct a child care center. Our center does not take children until 1 year of age. MH will do most of the child care until that time. Perhaps with us supplementing with some part time care so he can continue his business (real estate).
Yes, kids get exposed to colds and other illness in child care but they build up immunity pretty fast. If they aren't in school at all before kindergarten they go through the illnesses then.
I really love my job and I am the breadwinner in our family. Sometimes I do resent that I don't really have a choice, but in the end working is what I would choose anyways. I also see a lot of value in daycare. Interaction with other children is so valuable. And a lot of the centers I have looked at also provide some sort of early education. Being taught by certified instructors at the age of 2? Now that is worth a few extra dollars.
As for the sick thing, I also think being exposed to the illnesses in daycare can also be a good thing as far as building up an immune system at a young age.
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Hmm, I am not sure if I would. In fact, I pretty much know that I can't - I'm the primary wage earner, and my benefits are better and cheaper than DH's. Childcare is expensive here about $1000 per month. We have discussed DH being a SAHD, but even with childcare expenses, he makes too much to quit. Plus, he drives a company car and his gas is paid for.
We would like a nanny or in-home day care, but I don't think we can afford those either, so it will probably be a home day care.
Maybe in a few years, I could go PT,but I doubt it.