Can you help me with things to consider/think through?

lovesinthehouse

Hi ladies! First of all, I appreciate in advance anything you're willing to point out to me. Here's my situation:

My step-sister is pregnant with baby #4, from a guy that she is in an unstable relationship with. She doesn't have her other three kids right now because she can't support herself (they are with their dad, and she's trying to get them back this summer). She is thinking about putting this new baby up for adoption.

Do any of you have any thoughts about adopting from a family member, or someone you know? I would really appreciate feedback from people who have been thinking about this longer than I have. Thank you!

silliestbunny

 I would not choose to do it but I know others have done it successfully. I know my personality and I think it would be a strain to maintain my family when other family members might feel like they have "a say" in how things are done.

If you are serious, I think the best thing is for your step-sister to get individualized counseling so she can explore her feelings related to placing a child, and you and DH have couples counseling to work through and anticipate some of the issues that could creep into your lives.

Good luck!

CaptainSerious

Ditto everything silliest has said.

lovesinthehouse

Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate it!

jacksjerseygirl

I agree with Silliest. I would be more concerned about her getting appropriate counseling to see what path is right for her. Someone independent that can talk about what it would mean to place a child for adoption and placing that child with a family member.

There might be a chance that your step sister would think that it would be temporary in her head or later in life she might think that she can step back in (even if there are legal documents in place) - it might cause more of a strain for you to have 'co-parents' or for other family members who might not be supportive to place a strain on your relationship with that child at a later date.

I can see how it would be tempting but I think as hard as it would be, I don't think I could do it.