I never want to have sex again

SumnerBride

I normally wouldn't share this info with a bunch of "strangers" but I'm hoping you gals can either tell me this is normal, or that I'm crazy, and I need help.

Ever since getting pg with DD2, I haven't wanted to have sex.  I haven't had it since I was pg with her.  I have no desire at all.  Right now, I actually feel like I could go the rest of my life without it.  It's not just my husband.  I see attractive men all over, but I don't want to have sex with them either.

I wasn't like this at all with DD1.  Is the bfing making this happen?  Depression?  I'm not sure what to do, if anything at all.  I was hoping by now to resume my normal sex life.

WDYT?

EMT

BFing can make you feel that way.

babykin18

I can tell you from my standpoint it is normal.  With ds, pg # 1 had normal sex drive all the way through pg and only a slight drop with bf.  As soon as I got pg with # 2 I lost it completely.  I forced myself to do it every so often, but I seriously dreaded it.  I had no desire while bf and even after that.  It is just starting to come back now.  Hang in there!

MelandJeff

Hmm, I think it is normal to have a decreased sex drive, and I absolutely think that BFing can play a part in it, but I also think your husband has a part in it also.

Is he being helpful? Is he trying to be romantic? 

I also will gear up my flamesuit and tell you, just do it. Once you get going, you will most likely end up enjoying it.

veloelle

I'd talk to your DR. I go through phases of thinking that but generally get back into it pretty quick. That does seem like a long time to not be into sex. I've heard the BFing does it, but it could be lots of other stuff like depression, hormone imbalance that hasn't gotten better after #2, etc.

I feel like once we start, I'll get into the mood and it will be ok. It normally is. I've always been a 1x every 2 weeks person, whereas DH is more like 3x a week. So we do it 1x a week.

Good luck.

BostonGayGal

I have absolutely no idea.

But, oh my goodness are you stunningly beautiful?! It isn't just the hair; your facial structure is 40's-movie-actress gorgeous. ?Your daughters will be very lucky to get your looks!

?

KrisBriMcBunny

 I posted about this last night.  DH & I had sex for the 1st time in 9 months...yes you read that right 9 months!  I think we go thru spells like this.  I blamed my problems on despression, busy with kids and surgery.

dont beat yourself up and hopefully your dh will be understanding.  Also if you are really concerned I would talk to you ob/gyn or your pcp about it.

mrsterry

I think BFing can do it.  I went my entire pregnancy with Alexander and 5 months post partum without having sex...and didn't miss it one bit.  I've often said on here, too that when we did finally have sex it wasn't even that I really wanted it...but moreso a "celebration" of having my IUD inserted.

squishywife

i never want to have sex again and i am 11 mons pp.  i would be happy to never see a penis again.

MrsSledge

I felt that way after DD.  I think part of it was being scared of getting pg again, and also bfing.  Then when I was on bc, my moods were horrible and never wanted it.  I changed bc and it helped a bit. 

luckyluvr

MelandJeff:

Hmm, I think it is normal to have a decreased sex drive, and I absolutely think that BFing can play a part in it, but I also think your husband has a part in it also.

Is he being helpful? Is he trying to be romantic? 

I also will gear up my flamesuit and tell you, just do it. Once you get going, you will most likely end up enjoying it.

I hate it when people say to just do it b/c you'll end up enjoying it, or the more you do it the more you'll want it. This isn't true for everyone.

lsufan

I felt that way after #2 (but not after #1). ?We did have sex every now and then, and I enjoyed it once we started, but I seriously had no desire. ?I also think I had mild PPD, and that may have played a part. ?I never took medication for PPD, but last summer I bought a jogging stroller and started jogging with the boys. ?Just getting out and exercising helped to get me out of my funk, and just as I started losing weight and feeling better emotionally and physically, my sex drive came back. ?That was when B was about 8 months old. ?I was pregnant again by 9 months. ?:)

cbidt*sgirl

i don't think i had a sex drive for almost a year after ds was born.  i bf exclusively for that time (and continued unitl 18 months).  my sex drive increased when i bfing started to drop off, but it never really returned to pre-pg states.

sarahjared

I think you are totally normal.  I felt the same way.  Nothing against DH but there was a time when I didn't care if I ever had sex again.  Talked to ob about it and she prescribed some "happy pills" that also increase sex drive.  Things are better now.  GL

mamarazzi

I know what you mean.  We had sex three times during my whole pregnancy and I'm still not into it nearly three months postpartum.  I was rarely in the mood after Law, too, but things got better once I stopped nursing and quit taking the pill.

For me, I think it's part hormonal (from the nursing) and part that I'm just "touched out" affter nursing and holding the baby all day.  If I have 20 minutes free, the LAST thing I want to do is get nekkid.  I just really have no desire.  I think it'll come back eventually and I do feel a bit bad for H, but I feel like there's not much I can do about it right now.