My vent of "not fair"

lschu

Yes I do agree that myself being able to carry a miracle and have our child is amazing however I know that I am not the only one who feels that the DH is not giving up or contributing anything!

I understand I am the only one that is carrying the child but does that mean I want to sit home on Saturday night while he goes out with the beer men and plays poker.??..... He doesn't even understand when I get upset and cry that I wish I could go out and be careless but it's not an option and I feel like I am parenting my husband!

 Sorry for the vent but sitting home alone with Julio the cat ... the walls were closing in and I didn't want to start talking to myself

 

New Mrs

has he always done poker night with guys?? or is this a new thing?

LiebeMama

Aww. Hey I have some moments like that too.

AJluvsLI

I get it. ?I feel like I am more of a parent to my husband these days than his spouse. ?And it doesn't help that he doesn't understand that I can't go out and play tackle frisbee with everyone else. ?

It's hard, but I only have to hope and think that one day he will understand and appreciate what we go through for our families.

Hang in there! You are definitely not alone.?

BlairWaldorf

New Mrs:

has he always done poker night with guys?? or is this a new thing?

Ditto this.

If it's something he's always done, then I don't think you should be upset about it. ?Especially since he probably will stop this tradition after the baby comes...at least for awhile.?

lschu

new just tonight for the poker thing...but it's multiple nights a week that he does "his thing" and really I feel crappy but want "my time" I am being a baby I know but it would be nice if he wanted to take me out after a long, long week at work

tntotx

I am right there with you.  My DH had a "guy's day" today.  However, he was supposed to be back around 6:00 so we could go to this big BBQ show in Houston (which I have been excited about all week).  Well, I talked to him at 6:30 and they are running late. He thought he would be home by 8, so we could still go.  Now it's 8:00, he is still not here, and I am wondering if it is even worth it now.  He rode with friends, so I am not mad at him.  Just bummed, because this is the first Saturday in a LONG time that I have felt like doing anything.   

New Mrs

lschu:

new just tonight for the poker thing...but it's multiple nights a week that he does "his thing" and really I feel crappy but want "my time" I am being a baby I know but it would be nice if he wanted to take me out after a long, long week at work

if the poker thing is new & only for tonight I would let it go. If he continues to do it try & plan girls nights! Personally I like some time away from my DH once in a while.

just think, once the baby comes you guys will probably be together ALL the time! I say use the next few months to hang with friends and such!

lschu

at least if were all here .... were here together because I know he won't get it...one thing I can't stand is the "I will see you by 8" then it's 10 then it's 12 and he and the guys were just having too much fun..while I sit at home and wait...I need some new hobbies...

SWBs Wifey

I have felt that way before.  It never fails that there is a big poker party or other big thing (for the guys) right before DH is scheduled to leave on a trip for a few weeks.  And he doesn't tell me until the night of the party... when I've already resigned myself to a night in.  I have had many (probably 10 total in our marriage) nights crying and angry, waiting for him to come home from a party I didn't want him to go to in the first place.  He doesn't understand that I need to be in the MOOD... I need to be mentally prepared for a party (I have some social anxiety issues) and he can't spring it on me at the last minute. 

All that said- at least he was with you last night... and will be tomorrow.  I've been alone at home for weeks now... and will be until May.  And I'm one of the lucky ones, I know he'll be here for the last half of my pregnancy and the birth of our child. 

MelD16

Whether or not its new, I'd still make him feel bad.... but thats just me.  Well at least you got Julio the cat (lol thats my DH's first name, he hates it)

ZAngel

Why not take the time to do something nice for yourself?  Enjoy the "alone time" or spend it with family/friends.  You could go shopping, have a dinner date with a close friend, watch a sappy chick flick, paint your nails, knit a blanket, bake some cookies, read or whatever it is you like to do but never have the time.  There is no reason you shouldn't be able to have some fun time.