Not covered under FMLA wwyd? ttc!!

KonaBelle

So my company is small like 12 people.  We all work in two person offices.  Therefore, I am not covered for maternity leave and my boss will not be nice about it, he will surely fire me and replace me rather than hire a temp.  I have been trying to get a job that would have FMLA for two years, aggressively.  I keep thinking that if I got another job I would want to work there for four months before ttc, however we have been ready to ttc for two years now.  I am concerned that I will be pregnant or with a newborn and not have a job to go back to and I am already a worry wart .  I want to enjoy my pregnancy and new baby knowing that after 6 weeks I will have a job to go back to.  We can not live off of one income for longer than this, even with our efund.  WWYD, not ever have a baby? so frustated. Any advice>

carrie4g

I work for a company that isn't covered under FMLA but I was covered under state laws. I'm assuming you've researched that?   My recommendation would be for you two try living off of your DH's salary for a year and hopefully for the duration of your pregnancy. Save save and then save some more. You might be surprised how little you two can live off of. That way, if you do lose your job you'll have a little lee-way and time to find something else.  I'm a real "you'll figure it out" kind of person. I know some people wouldn't do that. But I truly feel that things will fall into place. They always do.

KonaBelle

I have checked my state laws and I am not covered.  I am VERY frugal and keep tight reigns on the money.  My husband has a good job but it still only leaves about $200 a month after bills.  We have no debt except for our mortgage which is modest, we don't pay for cable, don't have car payments, and I have negotiated our bills and insurance down lower than anyone I know.  We can't live on $200 a month no matter how hard we try, it is impossible.  Ahh Well, my husband is really dissappointed that we don't have children yet, but I can't just go and get pregnant without knowing what will happen.

hiltyn78

It's good that you're not just having a baby on a whim but at the same time, you'll find that there's never the 'perfect' time to have a baby.

Have you ever posted your budget to the ladies on MM?  They're quite the (brutal but) savvy ones about that stuff.  If you only have a small mortgage, no car payments and low insurance/ phones, etc.- where's all your $ going?  You're right $200 isn't enough to just get by.

 You could possibly try to document anything your boss says that is out of line, much like firing you if you're pregnant.  That seems just a wee bit shady. 

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?  I adore my DD like no other but I still wish we would have held off at least an extra year or two.  I was 1 week shy of 29 when I had her.

Good luck.  I know how frustrating it is to search for jobs when the economy sucks this bad. 

AlisaS

How are you going to afford a child when you only have $200 extra each month?

itsmyturn2

I think there is no great time to have children. So go ahead and ttc and hope for the best. The way I see it - you either have a job to go back to or you get fired and then can collect unemployment while you search aggressively for a new job. The other thing is - 6 weeks is a short time, so you might be surprised at your boss's reaction. I doubt they can hire someone and have them functioning at 100% in just 6 weeks. The other thing - is your boss the owner - maybe talk with them if they aren't the same person?

KonaBelle

AlisaS:

How are you going to afford a child when you only have $200 extra each month?

 

Ok, if I was not working and just living off DH salary we would have like an extra $200-400 after all bills.  I lurk on MM everyday and we are very good with our money, my father is a finacial advisor.  My boss is the owner and not a very nice man is a very nice way to put it.  He doesn't really care about anyone but himself and he is very scary.  If he hears that you are looking for another job he will call and fire you on the spot.  We are putting money away into savings for an efund but with the economy and the fact that I haven't had one call for an interview in over two years makes me nervous that i will have a child and not be able to find a job for a year in which case it will deplete all of our savings.  We would not have to pay for childcare with DH schedule he is off several days during the week and I would most likely have a M-F job.  I will be 30 this year, hence feeling the timeline. Thanks for all advice, just trying to figure out what other people do that are not covered.  As far as training someone new, my job is easy to do honestly, it just takes years to become an expert.  But easily replaced, yes indeedy.

ai&Jas

Have you checked into short term disability to cover you during your maternity leave? Its normally 6 wks for vag and 8 for a c section. That will help during the first few weeks post partum and then you could go back to work. However once you are back at work, will you have enough to cover for daycare which can be pretty expensive! I did read your comments about your DH having a pretty good job and is off several days a week..HOWEVER..I think you may still need it becasue it is very hard to work when looking after a baby. We have WAH homes on here and they usually get someone in to look after the baby or they drop them off at daycare....  If you dont have a job to go back to then having $200-400 a month after bills could work but it would be tight for a while. We had our DD when i was 33 and in a much better financial situation then when we were at 30..I think at the end of the day you just do thee best that you can but you are smart for thinking this far ahead! Babies are expensive but worth it

skittles_123

I cannot imagine your boss will be easy to work for once you have a child. Doesn't sound like he is willing to be flexible at all. So, I would start looking for another job and continue ttc. If you do end up pg before finding another job, so be it. It will work out. Still look while you are pregnant and you may actually be able to negotiate something with your new employer.

KonaBelle

My DH works a lot of weekends so when I say he is off several days during the week, like sometimes 4, he is really off, not working and would have nothing to do but watch the baby. Thanks for making me feel better about waiting till 33.  I'm going to keep looking everyday meanwhile probally going back to school to add some more qualifications.  Thanks for all the advice.

lisa777

Have you ever through about working for the government? They have AWESOME benefits and I think after 6 months, you can qualify for FMLA.

SuwaneeGirl

Been there, done that. My workplace is even smaller--5 people--and did not have maternity leave. Since I got pregnant the same month I was hired, I didn't qualify for disability through my employer (pre-existing condition, outside of the waiting period), and my state had no disability for me, either.

So we saved up. Good thing we did, because I ended up quitting 8 weeks early when I developed pre-eclampsia and delivered at 32 weeks.

Since you never know what will happen, why take the risk? If it's tough to afford it in the first place, why would you do it? Money is a big problem-maker in relationships--do you want to be arguing about money and have the stress of a pregnancy and newborn? Doesn't sound good to me.

dr.girlfriend

Remember, keep in mind restrictions on how long you would need to be working at a new job before FMLA.

anandi

Yep, I just wanted to echo that last poster.  Many jobs require you to work at least 6 months or even a year before you're eligible for leave.

Good luck.

Mango2

That's a tough situation. I was 36 when we had DD, and am now PG with #2 at 38, but we have also only been married 5 years. Waiting isn't necessarily a bad thing, however I do believe that things have a way of working out.

I think probably a different job would be a good option for you. I'm not sure what you do, but I'd start looking aggressively, even if it meant taking a week or two of vacation to do it.

TheMalleys

I would start looking for a new job and not get pregs till after you find something. I changed jobs, because my previous employer was not family friendly ( it was working for the govt. so I disagree with the pp, who said working for them is great). I got the new job, then 2 months later found out I was preggers. So 2mo+ 9mo of preg=11 months, so I did not qualify for FMLA. However I took 6 weeks of STD fbefore FMLA, so by the time my STD ran out I qualified for FMLA and took a total of 12 weeks. My new employer is super family friendly, so I knew they would work with me if I got pregs. I think if you find a company and new job, then you will be able to TTC and have a baby very easily. Good Luck!

northtamarack

You are very wise to figure out the different options before hand.  I agree with the poster who said that while waiting is not a bad thing, if in a situation you do find a way to make it work. 

I have a friend who is having her second child.  Things were tight when baby #1 arrived, so as you can imagine, she was very stressed out about how things were going to work with #2.  We've spent alot of time talking about her feelings on this issue.  One thing that she has repeatedly said, they just "make it work".  Now, these are things that she hasn't WANTED to do, but is doing to make sure that she can provide for her babies.  She has an extensive support system. This is going to allow her to quit her job (what she loves to do) so that they can save on day care, but she will pick up a different job (not her ideal) so that her sister can watch the kids while she (the friend) is working different hours. 

So, my advice to you is to not wait for that "perfect" time, and to know that even though you may worry there are creative ways to make it work.  If you do choose this option though, are you willing to do things that you don't want to do (like my friend working weekends at a job that isn't her ideal)?  Is your DH also ready and willing to make sacrifices if need be? 

I'd also think about your support system.  If you have a strong support system, then I'd also lean towards tcc.  Now, I'm not saying that you should take advantage of these people or count on them for everything from money donations to daycare.  I mean those people who would offer help you out (such as grandparents doing day care) if need be.  If not, then I'd personally wait until you and your DH are in a different place.