Oh No! Facebook related...

momma2alex

I just got a friend request from my Mom!

I love my Mom to death, but I don't want to add her, knowing all my business, things that I definitely don't want to share with her, etc...  To some of you who have a very open relationship w/ your mom it might not be a big deal, but you would have to know  her to understand.

Now the thing is, I guess I need to respond and let her down gently...  I feel like a "bad daughter" though...why is it when I want to set and enforce boundaries with my Mom that I feel so guilty?  WWYD in this situation? TIA

firefightersgal

Add her and only allow her to see a limited profile.

alisonada

My MIL has a facebook, and I couldn't bring myself to deny her friend request. While I don't have anything to hide from her, really, it's super annoying that she now constantly comments on every little status update DH or I post...so I feel for ya! Her other son, my BIL (he's 21) flat-out told her he wasn't going to be her friend.

momma2alex

FFG: I didn't know that I could do that!  That might work, by how much can you limit it??

momma2alex

alisonada: That is part of the problem, knowing my Mom, she would comment on everything.  I guess I look at this as something I have that is for me and my friends to chat and catch up, and even though I am grown it would always feel like my Mom listening in on the other line if you know what I mean.

firefightersgal

momma2alex:

FFG: I didn't know that I could do that!  That might work, by how much can you limit it??

I think you can limit it down to nothing but a page with your name on it.  You have to go up to "settings" on the main page and then "privacy settings."   Then, choose to manage your privacy, then profile.  Under each thing on your profile, it says, "edit custom settings."  Then, it says something like, "everyone can see this, except..." and you type the person's name in it.  The whole process is a pain, but more than worth it, IMO.  THEN, you can go up to the top of that page and type in the person's name.  It will give you a preview of exactly what your profile will look like to that person.

BubblyToes

I'm gonna go ahead and say DON'T DO IT.

I accepted a friend request from my mom, she got all pissey about something I posted, long story short, we haven't spoken in almost 4 weeks and I have no intention of talking to her anytime soon. 

Of course, if you're mom isn't Crazy McLooneypants, then you might be okay.  Mine is.  Needless to say, I de-friended her.

momma2alex

firefightersgal:

momma2alex:

FFG: I didn't know that I could do that!  That might work, by how much can you limit it??

I think you can limit it down to nothing but a page with your name on it.  You have to go up to "settings" on the main page and then "privacy settings."   Then, choose to manage your privacy, then profile.  Under each thing on your profile, it says, "edit custom settings."  Then, it says something like, "everyone can see this, except..." and you type the person's name in it.  The whole process is a pain, but more than worth it, IMO.  THEN, you can go up to the top of that page and type in the person's name.  It will give you a preview of exactly what your profile will look like to that person.

 

Thank you so much, that might just work.  I don't want to hurt her (she is very sensitive), but I also want my privacy, that might accomplish both.  Thanks, you saved the day

momma2alex

BubblyToes:

I'm gonna go ahead and say DON'T DO IT.

I accepted a friend request from my mom, she got all pissey about something I posted, long story short, we haven't spoken in almost 4 weeks and I have no intention of talking to her anytime soon. 

Of course, if you're mom isn't Crazy McLooneypants, then you might be okay.  Mine is.  Needless to say, I de-friended her.

Thanks Bubbly...that sucks that it turned out that way (or maybe not, I guess depending on how you look at it). Mine isn't completely "Crazy McLooneypants," but I feel like I would always be censoring myself and she would always be commenting on things I post and asking about stuff...it would just be aggravating to me... I think I might try what FFG mentioned and see if I can do that?? Thanks!

august0605bride

add her and only let her see your profile

?

I talk to my mom about everything, but it's still kind of annoying to see her on Facebook. ?the novelty wore off quick for her, though.

?

another option is to ignore her, and if she says anything IRL say you never got a request-- she'll think she's doing it wrong-- this could last for months ?

lizlemon77

I'm marking this post so that I can use the directions to limit someone.  I've never figured out how to do it!

momma2alex

august0605bride:

add her and only let her see your profile

 

I talk to my mom about everything, but it's still kind of annoying to see her on Facebook.  the novelty wore off quick for her, though.

 

another option is to ignore her, and if she says anything IRL say you never got a request-- she'll think she's doing it wrong-- this could last for months  

 

Thanks!  Another brilliant idea, a little passive, but it could work   My mom would totally think she was doing it wrong, she has a hard time on the computer sometimes..I think eventually she would figure it out though when other "friends" responded..it could buy some time though.

I think I will do it, but just allow her to see my profile.  Thanks again!

Bellisimo

I still have a friend request pending from my MIL and I have no intentions of accepting it.  There are just some things that Moms and MILs should stay out of!

KrisBriMcBunny

I dont wanna friend my girls and my girls dont wann friend me and I'm totally ok with that.  that would just weird me out if my mom friend me !

alisonada

See, the problem with the "only let her see your profile" thing for me is that my MIL is computer-savvy and sharp enough that she would surely realize she wasn't seeing everything that she sees for other people's profiles, and would ask us why that is...