NICU nurse made me cry this morning

jenerally

We've been really lucky, getting some awesome nurses to help us with our son.

There's one lady, however, who I'm less than fond of. She's assigned to Dash this morning.

I called in to get my morning report and she said that I should really try to be there between 10 and 1 so I could see the pediatrician, etc. It was her wording and her tone ... she implied (or I heard) that I wasn't being the best parent if I didn't make it there then.

I've had to go back to work because I don't get paid mat leave ... I want to save up my time to be here once Dash gets home. So I can't be there today between 10 and 1. NO other nurse we've had would make me feel guilty for this -- they know we're doing the best we can.

But I'm in tears because this woman, who I'm sure meant well, hurt my mama feelings.

tierelieber

I remember having a nurse like that. Try not to let her get to you! I also had to return to work while DD was in the NICU. It is really hard because all you want to do is be with your baby. You are doing as much as you can- you know it, your family knows it, and your son knows it. Don't let some b!tch nurse make you question yourself. Your life right now is hard enough!

Mrs. Destructo

She is a big, fat jerk. When you see Dash next talk to the charge nurse and tell him/her that you don't want the jerkface nurse to care for Dash again.

Don't let her get to you. You're doing a great job, in a horrible situation. I betcha that b!tchface nurse never had a preemie of her own so she has no idea at all how hard it is to be a NICU mommy, let alone how hard it is to work when your sweet baby is in the hospital.

SBMBride406

First, let me say that I think most of us have stories about "that one nurse" in our NICUs that we didn't like and hurt our feelings. DH asked that one nurse not care for DS anymore after she made me cry one night. If there is someone you don't want to interact with, you can do the same, and you should!

Second, don't feel bad if you can't be there all the time. Save your leave and energy for when he comes home. You can only do what you can for now. I only saw Marino a couple times the first week and twice a day for about an hour for the other 3 weeks he was in the NICU - I was too sick to stay longer than that (I fell asleep holding him many times). Anyway, this didn't impact our bond at all and he is the happiest, friendliest boy in the world. Don't feel guilty!!

mrsjrmiller

Poor thing!! I agree with the others that we all probably have that "one nurse".  Try not to let her bother you or call back up there and tell her exactly how you feel. I think there are some of those nurses that do excellent at dealing with the parents and others who treat the situation as a "job" and do take the feelings into account. Ask never to have her again and put it behind you, that is the last thing you need now - you are doing all you can and you need to stay strong!  Hang in there!

jenerally

thank you, girls.

I was wondering if I was overreacting to her (hormones and all) but I think she and I just rub the wrong way, personality wise. It's a good idea to ask that she not be assigned to my son anymore. I know after today, we'll have our favorite nurse for three days in a row so that's a comfort.

I already feel guilty for the time (or lack thereof) that I spend with Dash. I don't need a jerkface nurse to exacerbate those feelings.

KellyMichelle

I'm sorry she made you feel bad.  You are doing great and it is important that you save your time for when your baby is home and really needs you.  Have you picked primary nurses (nurses assigned to your baby when they are working)?  We had several primary nurses for DS and it made me feel better to know that the people taking care of DS were chosen by us and people we trusted.

Tianacheron

so sorry you had to go through this, what an azzhat. totally agree with all the pp's that there is always at least one jackhole nurse in the NICU.  Just remember you have to take care of yourself too, and you know that you are doing the best you can right now and thats just what Dash needs!

SCOOTER

I am sorry.  No one should ever make a new NICU mom ever think they aren't doing a good enough job.  I think everyone has had one.

I didn't stand for it and I called up the social worker assigned to us.  He arranged it to we never saw her in the unit again.  Call and ask to speak with the charge nurse though.  Unaccaptable behavior in my book.

lovemy2boys

I'm so sorry.  (((hugs)))  I've had one nurse who has acted in a similar way, and I just ignore her.  You are not a bad mom, you are coping as best you can.

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LUCKY41010

My little Coop had a nurse that smoked so my dh told the nurses that were leaving that we wanted a diff. nurse that night.

C&H

Ditto all the pp...talk to the charge nurse and make sure she isn't assigned to your ds anymore. I did this when my ds was in the NICU and looks like many others have too You have enough stress from being away from your baby so you don't need some jerk making you feel worse.