Baby Showers
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***Sherpa***
I am sorry for the beating you took below. I totally understand what you are going thru and I am very much like you a planner and I like things to be nice. I am sure just like me your family knows you are this way. This is no surprise to them. It is not somehing you can help, you just like a beautiful event. My advise is tell your sister and cousin that you are so happy that they want to plan a shower for you and you really appreciate it. Then tell them that you really want to be involved as well. That your very excited about the baby and a shower is important to you and you want to help in the planning. Now I will say this to you and I am not trying to be mean but you can't just take over the whole thing. I am saying this because I can be this way. My advise is tell them the few things that are really important to you. Also listen to there idea and meet half way.
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Re: ***Sherpa***
I haven't even read any of the replies yet, saw this first. I'll have to go check it out. Of course I appreciate the sentiment that they are offering to throw my baby shower but I just can't trust that they'll be able to pull it off. My sister has her head so far in the clouds she forgets her work schedule all the time and has to find last minute babysitters for her son. She works 60 hours a week and is a single mom so I feel like she has enough on her plate. My cousin has two girls under 2 and we don't really have any kind of relationship. I've probably spoken to her three times in the last 5 years.
I imagine there's some flaming about the invitations...well I want to save an invite in the baby book and I want it to be the perfect invite. Something that reflects DH and I and what we want for our future son. I'm not going to apologize for wanting something special and unique to us.
All I'm asking is if it's okay to politely tell them thanks but no thanks. I haven't even gone into the drama of all the people to invite that hate each other. E.g. DH's mom and step-mom do not get along and would both be invited. At our wedding they caused a scene so terrible that my FIL wrote us a check right there covering all the costs of our wedding weekend, reception, and honeymoon.
So...I'll go look at the flaming now.
That didn't hurt so much, it appears to be a bunch of emotional basket cases that have to dump on someone. I got the answers I was looking for and I'm going to ask my sister not to continue with planning the shower. I didn't think the shower was supposed to be all about the gifts. I don't want anyone buying us anything. I'm thankful for what I already have and asking for more would be opportunistic of me. I'll ask my sister if we could do a used book party after the baby comes and that way I can pay for everything and help with the planning without offending anyone.
Flamers: Would that be okay with the rest of you? Great.
I didn't post in the original thread, by the way.
It's perfectly ok to turn down an offer for a baby shower, but be careful about the "why". For example, don't say "I don't want a baby shower, so you can stop planning one" and then later allow someone else to throw you one. Because that would cause majorly hurt feelings.
Clomid Cycle #1: 50mg = BFP
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That didn't hurt so much, it appears to be a bunch of emotional basket cases that have to dump on someone.
Yes. Everyone ELSE is a basketcase. lololol.
Updated September 2012.
Actually, yes, the purpose of a shower is to "shower" the mom-to-be with gifts. And if you don't want anyone buying you anything, why do you have a registry?
I re-read my OP and yes it does make me sound like a monster. Unfornately, I can go in there and change it without some people flipping a lid all over again. I don't want to hurt my sisters or cousins feelings. They are fully aware of what a control freak I am when it comes to planning and organizing events, bless their hearts. I know that once I explain to them ALL of the reasons I don't want a shower they will understand. Heck, my sister should know I don't need anything since she's given me all of her stuff and I was just telling her that my SIL's sister sent me hers too. I have enough supplies for 3 kids now. I'm glad all this happened here so I can be extra ginger not to hurt them when I talk to them.
I'm not surprised by the flamming given the content of my OP but it is disturbing at how some people react so vehmently. You'd think I did something to them personally.
people reacted honestly and you deserved all the flaming you received.
it doesn't matter if your sister and cousin are millionaires, (or if you are for that matter) you still sound ungrateful and its a shame that you just don't see that.
I did the registry for the completion coupon and have not told a single person about it. For the people that search it out, like my Aunts, they'll see my note that says:
ntp...
not the point.
well I want to save an invite in the baby book and I want it to be the perfect invite. Something that reflects DH and I and what we want for our future son. I'm not going to apologize for wanting something special and unique to us.
What i dont' get about this- if you can't have the "perfect" invitation, you'd rather have none at all? You'd rather not 'let' your sister and cousin do something special for you, from their heart - because you won't have the perfect piece of PAPER to show for it?
Do you see how screwy the priorities are there?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This
No baby shower because the invitation is going to make your baby book look horrendous! Get a grip, you have major issues. I think it's funny that 99% of the people said you're insane but you turn it around on everyone else. Please woman, you need counseling. It's called denial.
I baby "shower" is intended to "shower" you with gifts. It is an extremely thoughtful thing for someone to do for you. It is also something that someone wants to do for you. Why deprive them of the fun of planning it their way because it isn't right by your standards?
It is also rude to dictate what people buy you.