3 in a row..??? Hmm...

TeamTejeda

So my ILs and now Mother (my dad is quite a quiet fellow lately) think that we should just have our kids ONE after another.

Now, I KNOW ppl do this.. but is it WISE to do this? LOL. Easier? Harder? Etc.. FYI:  I am going to be 28 this year.. and I plan on having maybe tres bebe's. They act as if I am 75 yrs old.. having my 1st. I get times have changed but Sheeezzzz... back off dude.

My Ma did it with all of us, minus my sister who came a few years after my Brother passed away. She had 3 under 4.. or maybe 5. I dont feel like doing the math, but lets just say we all came pretty orderly.

***If the twins pull through, we will def be in a diff situation.. but at this point, I am kinda curious to see what the rest of you broads plan on doin.

and ladies, On a side note: It has been a full 24 hrs since I almost passed out or puked. Good times!! woo hooo!!

JCM052707

It really depends on what you want and what you are up for. I would imagine in many ways it's a lot harder, but then also easier for somethings (can reuse things if kids are close, share things, etc).  And if you want your kids to be close in age, then yes, you'd have to do that.

I would like ours 2-3 yrs apart I think, but with my PCOS/Infertility I can't even begin to worry about proper timing and I will just be thankful and lucky as hell if I ever get pregnant again so any time that wants to happen, whether it be right away or 5 years down the line, I will be thankful. 

k_leigh_d

it's obviously a very personal decision and you'll better know what suits you after you see how you can handle motherhood. it doesn't come easy to everyone. personally, i loved having mine spread out (didn't really plan them to be AS spread out as the are) because I've really been able to spend a lot of one on one time with each of them. i would have never been able to bond with them the SAME WAY that I did had I had them close together. I also come from a VERY, VERY close knit family, so there was never a fear of them not being close since they are farther apart in age.

ALP

My 3rd is due about 3 weeks after my oldest turns 4. I love it. This may be our last, or we may have a 4th, but I personally think there is something to be said for having your kids close.

Although having them close works for us, I am not sure there is a right or wrong answer to this, I am sure there are positives and negatives to any age spread amongst kids. For me, I have had a year in between pregnancies to get back into fighting shape, enjoy some adult time (drinking, vacations, etc) and bond with each child. My boys are thick as thieves, and I am not sure that would be the case if they were further apart than they are. I am sure this will also lead to them being competitive later on down the road, but we'll get there when we get there.

 

DanielsWife

I'm 27, and I've felt more like I'm 80 when it comes to having kids because of everyone else's opinion! ?On the other hand, there's been a sort of urgency because of PCOS - even though I was able to get PG on the 2nd cycle off the Pill - and my Dr. always wanted me to get PG before 30 - to ensure that I can have more than one. ??

Basically, I plan on having all 4 or 5 kids over the next 8-10 years. ?Maybe I'll be done when I'm 36. ?So, that's about 18 months to 2 years between each kid - which isn't too spaced out, but I think enough time in between. ?If I end up being pregnant when this one is 6 months, I'm not going to freak out - too much - maybe.

In short, do what you and DH want to do. ?

kandmrod

I want 3 as well.  IF we can financially afford it and depending on how easy or not easy labor and delivery and having a new born is.... I would like to have them pretty close in age.  There are a lot of things that could change my mind but I will be 25 in May and want 3 babes before I am 30.  But I also have twins on my side of the family and am hoping that my next pregnancy results in twins and then I am done.  We were kind of hoping for twins this round since we did fertility but now I am happy that we were able to get prego and besides twins for my first baby(ies) would have been really stressful I think.  We are very happy with our one little bean.  Hopefully everything is easy and smooth and will be trying for another not too long after this one is born.  But we will see how things play out. 

JCM052707

k_leigh_d:

i loved having mine spread out (didn't really plan them to be AS spread out as the are) because I've really been able to spend a lot of one on one time with each of them. i would have never been able to bond with them the SAME WAY that I did had I had them close together.

Ihave to agree with this. It's something I've thought about a lot (but like I said, it's luck of the draw if I ever get pg again so I can't be too picky) and I don't think I'd want to have to take time away from a very young child/baby b/c I am having another. Plus I think it'd be nice to experience all those first few years things and then when they're older and you're wanting/missing all that again you can start all over.  If you like the baby stage it might be nice to spread it out a little more  

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

In this ideal world that only exists in my head, I would have my kids as close together as possible. But then, I may change my mind after the first one comes out, and theres money matters as well...

Danse

Personal decision.

People that voice their opinions on how I "should" procreate annoy me. Now that we may have more than 1 - everyone keeps telling us "Oooh - good for you, now you can get it all done at once!" Uhm - when did I tell you that we planned on having 2 children? What if WE want more? Is that okay with you?

/end rant.
 

4realyo

we always planned on having ours fairly close together. i think since it took us longer than we though to concieve the first one, we will be trying again by the time this one turns 6 months. my mom had 4 under the age of 5 and she managed just fine.

jessicaclare

This is such a personal decision. There are obviously pros and cons to every age spacing. This baby will be a 2.5 years younger than DD and that works perfectly for us. It really depends on the child too. I have friends you had their first two 2 years apart and then waited an extra year, because their middle boy is just higher maintenance and it worked better for them.

Honestly, I think its one fo those things that you can never truly plan the way you want it.

TeamTejeda

It makes sense BOTH ways..

I suppose Ill just have to see how it works out being a new mom. I do love that my bro and I are close in age.. and It was nice to be able to watch over my sister but I ALWAYS hated the large age difference. Maybe thats a sign for me..? hmm...

All of my MOM friends who had their 1st child way young.. *unplanned*, later finished up the family when they found a guy to be with.. (Lord knows all 3 of them have a DeadBeat Father for their 1st) There was a HUGE age difference. I think for me, at this age.. I cant really afford to spread them out too much.. but there is def a big difference in waiting 3 yrs.. to waiting 1. LOL. Like I said though. If both of my Jumpin Beans pull through, we will probably wait a few years before adding to the mix.. It just seems WISER. lol

I guess if we can afford it.. we probably will try to keep them relatively close to age. ((( keep your fingers crossed, his cousin is running for mayor in our town!! That is a BIG financial change for us.. and they lift residency allowing us to move to a nicer town, with better schools. At this pt, Private school is an ONLY option for us!!<----- Say a prayer if you like cuz the current mayor is a giant crooked DOUCHE'BAG. )))

I appreciate giving me a look on both sides..

snsgurl728

Wow...apparently they think very highly of your bod's recovery rate! I wouldn't do it, personally. I am so ecstatic to be pregnant that I wouldn't want to not  be able to spend one-on-one time with our little one. We plan on getting pregnant again when this tot is 2-3.  But this decision is completely up to you, and I would understand where you're coming from if you got pregnant back-to-back.

If this helps at all: My mom had her 4th at 35. I am 24 and my youngest brother will turn 13 in November. All, me and my 3 brothers, are all close, so having a bit of distance didn't hurt any relationships.

I hope you and your DH can make the decision despite popular opinion

snsgurl728

Ok, sorry but I just thought of something else....

One of the things that I love about  being the oldest is that my nerves are not going crazy about being pregnant. Because I was 11 when my last brother was born, I am aware of the joys of teething, and lack of sleep from hearing the baby cry, how to change a diaper, how to get them to relax...all that stuff. I know it's different when it's your own, but I still feel fairly prepared So, no matter your choice, there's always going to be a flip-side, but I thought I'd throw that out there. Good luck!

kristen230

Our oldest is 2.5 right now and we started trying again 2 months ago. We are hoping they will be 3 - 3.5 years apart. This gave us time to have a lot of one on one with our DS. We are very ready for number 2 now though ?

I think its important to give your body time to recover and enjoy them one at a time. IMO anyway...

?My sister had 5 right away, she had 5 under 5... it was crazy for awhile but now the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3. This would not work for me, I would have lost my mind, but my sister loves it and it works great for her. So I guess everyone is different.?

borc0080

That's a bit forward of them to be planning your kids for you!  You and your DH should do whatever works best for you.  And 28 is a far cry from 38!

We're not going to have #2 until I'm done with school (2010).  After that we'll discuss the ifs/whens of #3.

Congats on the 24 hours of no puke!

mtendere

I'll be 34 when this one is born and it took us almost a year to conceive, so (depending on how we feel after baby #1), we'll probably not prevent once we're told it would be safe & healty to get pg again.  We might not try too hard until the first one is a little older, though.