Update & we have a court date!!!!!!!!!!
FINALLY! (kinda long but pretty good news! Found out some interesting stuff yesterday!)
After all the trash that happened yesterday, this news couldn't have come at a better time! (see post below about BM being even more crazy...)
DH talked to our attorney yesterday - our court date is March 5th!! Woohoo!
On top of that, BM is doing some really stupid stuff that she's FINALLY going to get called out on...to list a few:
BM has told us for YEARS that she filed for disability and "can't work" but is still waiting on a response from disability/social security...she even put on her COURT paperwork, that she applied for SS/disability benefits and our attorney plus the state just discovered she has NEVER applied for any benefits and doesn't even rate it - HA! (and our attorney has her lying, flat out, in her paperwork too!)
BM has NO proof or documentation for ANYTHING - how she spends the CS, etc - she attached no resume like our attorney asked for and since she quit her job the moment her divorce was final from DH 9the same week she remarried her current husband whom she'd been having an affair with) she has not looked for or attempted to get a job anywhere.
BM had 30 days, by state law, to fill out and turn in all of her paperwork to our attorney for this upcoming courtdate and she has NOT turned all of it in, so she's already in violation right there. Our attorney said it's like she's sand bagging, thinking she'll drag this out longer if she doesn't turn in her paperwork, when in reality, she's only screwing herself and will look like an idiot in front of the judge.
BM has actually called and emailed our attorney on numerous occassions and mouthed off to HER! She even told our attorney's paralegal: "Don't you DARE send anymore paperwork to my house!!"
BM also lied to our attorney and us and said she had retained an attorney. Our attorney just found out she's merely having someone from the state represent her for free (from child support enforcement) and our attorney knows the guy that's representing her and apparently he's even told BM she's basically screwed. I'm sure she's livid!
BM has constantly talked about how she "can't work" blah, blah, blah and our attorney asked for proof - anything - a Dr's note, etc - BM can't provide a darn thing!! Gee, I wonder WHY??
We're also going to be filing a cease and desist (thanks for the idea!) against BM sending emails and making harrassing phone calls to DH's work just because she's pissed off and wants to cause a scene. Furthermore, we're going to have a harrassment order of sorts filed...that says she can only communicate with DH through email and only concerning pick up/drop off times for the boys or about question regarding a 50/50 legal custody issue like a Dr, a change in schools, etc. No phone calls unless an emergency occurs like one of the kids going to the hospital or something of that nature and no harrassing emails where she goes on and on for paragraphs just bad mouthing DH because she's bored.
We will also be filing for contempt of the CO - BM has taken and sent the boys out of state several times without DH's knowledge (which she's not allowed to do - they have to tell one another and make sure it's alright - one time it was during a time when DH should have been able to have the boys.) She has also alienated the boys from their dad which is in the CO as a big NO-NO...when she enrolled the boys in school last year, she didn't tell the schools that DH even existed and listed their step-dad as their father on their paperwork - no mention of DH at all. DH had to call and send the schools' his divorce decree/CO to prove everything. And most recently we found out BM is taking youngest SS to a "psychiatrist" and apparently the brainwashing continues because now he yells at DH about what his "mom and psychiatrist say about him" (meaning DH) What kind of psychiatrist just takes a kid in and starts counseling him on his father whom the psychiatrist has never met or attempted to contact and bad mouths him along with the BM who is prompting all of this?
And last but not least, DH's time is very limited with the boys due to his schedule in the military, the fact that we live out of state and the fact that the kids are in school full time. Originally, BM was planning on taking the boys with her on a cruise to the Caribbean (glad we could pay for that, btw) over Spring Break and although tihs is her "Easter" with them, that's all the CO specifies, is EASTER - not the entire Spring Break. So DH wanted to see them for even HALF of the Spring Break if possible. He emailed BM about it and she said "We decided to put the cruise off until later in 2009 but we're going to be taking a vacation in VA (where WE live!!) and as far asyou having the boys at all during their Spring Break, I'm going to have to decline." Then she says "As far as you having them in the future - wow - why don't you take a pick from one of your many 3 day weekends you military guys get."
A 3 day weekend is not enough time for us to get the boys - we have to drive (we can't afford the plane tickets right now) and it's a 12hr drive!!! That means if DH is off Fri, Sat and Sun, he has to drive 12hrs on Fri (sometimes it takes longer depending on traffic, potty breaks, etc) the kids would be here for Saturday and then have to go to bed at a decent hour just so they could get up on Sun with DH to drive 12hrs again! How stupid?? SHe knows this too, so that's all she offers to DH and then she tells him he can't have them on some of their extended breaks. That will all change because visitation is the next court date - it's currently being transferred to their state as well!!
Re: Update & we have a court date!!!!!!!!!!
Wow - next week!! I'm crossing my fingers, toes, arms, legs, GOOOOD LUUUUCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Flo! I'm so nervous and I told DH - I wish I could feel good about all of this, but I really won't until he calls me after court to tell me what's happened! After what happened to us last time, I'll never be able to get my hopes up - I would hope with everything we're presenting that the judge would see at least part of what's going on here!
Oh - I forgot! We also found out, when our initial CS order got changed to the astronomical amount it is now, that BM had lied on THAT court paperwork as well and said she was "disabled" and unable to work, so now we have her lying on THAT paperwork too. None of us were able to be in court for that because it was on the other side of the country so I think BM thought she could get away with her lie, which she did, but only for a little while!
That is awesome, I am so excited for you guys! Keep plugging along and don't lose faith. The boys will benefit in the end and even if they don't realize it now they will someday know the whole truth.
Congrats!
Wow, so can the lawyer bring that in to question? Can the CS be amended back that far based on fraudulent information she put out there?
MrsHK -
Unfortunately, I don't think the judge in NC can take it into consideration as far as amending it over the period of time we paid it (because it was a judgement in another state at the time), BUT I do believe it gets taken into consideration when determining the NEW amount, that DH was really *over* paying for a long time. I hope that's the case - at least because now we've got a couple instances where she's lied on court paper work...she's so stellar! ;o)
OMG- is this normal, I'm so excited about this. I really hope and pray that this lady get's what she's due. Roll on the 5th.
You know the maddening thing about all this - If your DH had not being paying enough CS they would back date it. BUT they will not back date the mistake and tell him he has paid to much so he can take a break for a while.
I just care that she gets called out on all this junk she's been doing for so long and that something "right' happens for once - she's been winning way too long.
Even our attorney told DH yesterday "Your ex is a certifiable nut case - I have NEVER dealt with anyone quite like your ex - she even calls my office and emails us here and acts like she's telling US what to do - like she's running the show and knows more than I do about law..."
I'm so nervous about all of this...I'm trying not to be - for me and the baby but it's so hard not to think about it and I hate that DH has to go down there by himself this time. (BM doesn't know DH is coming down there - she might question if he is or not, but he's definitely making the long drive so he can be in court as well) It makes me laugh though - BM is probably planning her outfit out and everything in case DH is there because for some reason, although she's remarried, (unhappily and just for $$) she still seems to be obsessed with DH and thinks she can make him "jealous" - she almost acts like "see what you're missing?" and it makes us laugh. She's really a sad person.
Shoot, after what she's done to us and the kids?? No Chaos...you are completely sane and normal
)
Well jeez, if all I need to do to get boob job is divorce DH, maybe there is something there...LOL totally kidding!
Good luck my dear! That's so exciting!!!!
Don't drink that yet- wait til your perfect baby boy comes!
Oh wow! Hopefully she will finally be called out for being the douchebag that she is.
Good luck, and I can't wait to hear what happens.
If that makes you bad, then I'm awful. And I generally consider myself a pretty nice person overall.
I hope everything goes well for you on the 5th. Best of luck to you guys.
(I'm also wondering if you can go back to the court and ask for a retroactive recalculation of child support based on fraud to the court. She'd have to pay you guys back either out of the current child support or with her income tax refunds or whatever. And she might even have to get a job now. bwahahahahaha.)
See? I'm evil.
Holy hell. I just got done reading your 2 emails. What a nutjob. I hope your DH didn't get too much sh!t from his colonel about that email...
I hope you hop on here and tell us all about the court case on the 5th. I know I'll be looking for an update!