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Overwhelmed-Venting and need some ideas Please.
We have been saving money to start the adoption process forever it seems. We are ready emotionally and make plenty of money to raise a child but coming up with the whole amount is draining. We have tightened up our spending, paid off as many bills as possible and getting a little help from the in-laws and it's still not enough. If we wait another year we could have enough, neither one of really want to wait that long. I'm going to be 34 in June and DH is almost 36. We feel like we are running out of time and emotionally if we wait another I will lose it! Just wondering what creative ways you all are coming up with adoption money?
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Re: Overwhelmed-Venting and need some ideas Please.
We just moved and we noticed that we have a lot of extra stuff - extra dishes, tons of glassware, etc etc. So I'm selling it and putting that money towards adoption. It's not a lot, but it's something.
Also - we have cash allowances that we give ourselves for things like lunch with friends and movies and whatever. I pay with bills only and save all of my change. And then when the jar gets full I roll it and deposit it or change it into bills. In less than a year I had enough to fly me to chicago in July (half work, half pleasure. since I'm self-employed I pay for it all, though.) My mom used hers to go on a cruise. I'm going to make Husband do the same thing and all of our change is now going towards adoption. Again, it's not much. But couple it with what we get from selling our *** (I've even found a "consignment department store" that will take our non-designer clothes and sell them) and what we're pulling out of our paychecks...and it adds up.
HTH!
Ditto Grad. We started 11 months ago, and our largest payment won't be due until we submit our dossier, in the next week or two. If you have a decent amount saved up, you can get started and continue to save as you go along. That way, the ball is rolling, and you'll know how much you'll need for each payment as you go along.
Good luck!
GL!
DH wants to have pretty all of the adoption cost in hand before starting. We have a line of credit we were going to use but we got a letter Friday stating they were tripling our interest rate due to the economy. We have just enough to start but it would clear us out and we can't do that.
My company is a very small family owned business and they don't give any type of reimbursements. I'm seriously at my wits end. I feel like having a family is all I have to live for anymore, I'm starting to sound crazy here but it's all I can think about. Thanks for listening.
I can understand his concern. It would be horrible to start, and then get to a point where you can't proceed because you don't have the amount for the next payment. I can't imagine how hard it might be to lose a chance at placement because of a situation like that.
BUT, if you have just enough right now and just want to build up a cushion to be safe, then I think you are closer than you think. You certainly don't need to save up double the costs or anything; just have enough so you can handle any unexpected or emergency situations, and maybe have a little extra "play" money. I wish you luck that you and your husband feel comfortable starting soon!
Please don't do this to yourself. My husband and I made a pact to truly try not to be "all adoption, all the time." I'm sure you had a full life before you decided you were ready for children, didn't you? You did things for you (and your husband) just because you enjoyed them? You filled your days with activities, friends, and hobbies?
If you let your life revolve around motherhood, you will most likely lose yourself in the shuffle. You CAN be a good mother and still maintain a sense of self. In fact, I believe that mothers who do so are actually the best role models for their children. They demonstrate all the wonderful things life can offer, both within and BEYOND a family. They also teach their children how important it is to treat themselves as an equal member of the family, and not just as a do-it-all servant to the family.
I'm sure you aren't saying that you are going to let yourself become a slave to your family, but it's so important that you remember all the other things you love about life. YOU are too important to lose sight of, even as you expand the circle of people you love and cherish.
Best of luck to rekindling some of your interests and enjoyments in life!
Maybe a part time second job wouldn't hurt? Back in Dallas I worked at a gym on Saturday mornings. 4 hours in the daycare every saturday. I would also pick up shifts at the front desk during the week in the evenings. It wasn't a ton of extra money, but it definitely eased things when we had unexpected expenses.
Maybe look into something like that?
Captain~
Thank you so much. You are right, I was happy and had a full life before we decided to adopt. I am doing everything in my power to be strong for myself and my husband. It's hard! I really appreciate your kind words.
I'm so glad that what I was trying to say came across correctly! I was worried my message might come across as harsh, which was definitely not my intent. I sometimes feel it is so difficult to accurately convey emotions through a computer.
I know how hard it can be. I think we all find ourselves feeling that our lives revolve around our adoption/children at times. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't get too caught up in it all, and one day realize you don't remember yourself anymore.