WWYD? RE: DC hitting child at school... help!

Sarahb34743

DD has always been a softy. She gets her feelings hurt easily. But she swears shes tough and will kick butt if provoked. I've never seen this happen but I just checked my email and got a note from her teacher saying that DD and another student kicked a boy at school and they'll be called into the office monday morning!! I cant believe it! She's never gotten called into the principals office! But, because I know my DD my 1st thought is "what did this child do to push her to this?" OR "the other student is a bad influence"

None the less she needs to be punished because she cant hurt someone else and get away with it. I want to pull her aside and talk to her about it with out involving DH. I guess cause a side of me wants to be soft on her, this being her 1st offense, and I know DH will not be soft on her. I know some of you are thinking I'm wacko but my DD has never acted like this before so I know SOMETHING  pushed her to this.

What do you think I should do?

HasteTheDay

Well, I don't think it really matters what pushed her to kick the other kid. There's always a reason. And maybe the other kid is a bad influence. But that's not an excuse and I don't think it should really change your response. I would ask about what happened, in case the other kid needs to be disciplined too. But other than that... I'd try to explain to her that no matter what, we don't hurt other people. And if this kid gives her trouble again, I'd tell her to just walk away or tell a teacher what's going on. That way she'll learn to take responsibility for her own actions, rather than blame so-and-so, KWIM??

That's just my opinion. Hope it helps!?

katie277s

I agree with Haste.  You need to talk to her and figure out what happened to cause her to kick the other child.  Give her a chance to explain what happened, let her know that hurting someone is never the answer and that if she needs to, have her walk away and tell a teacher what is going on. 

In terms of not involving your DH, I would advise to not do that.  IMO, disipline should be handeled together.  Maybe you can talk to him about it before talking with her so he has an idea where you are coming from.  But again, I don't think it is wise to not tell him about it.  

Sarahb34743

Thanks ladies...After thinking about it a little more I realized that, like Katie said, I should talk to him before we talk to her together. I'll talk to them both seperate and than we'll all talk together. This co-parenting thing is realitivley (sp) new to me so my 1st thought is "let me handle it".

Thanks!

ali-1411

Well...I teach my son that you don't hurt people...blah blah blah. 

But he is absolutely allowed to defend himself.  If someone else hits him first then all bets are off.  The school may have a punishment, ex. suspension or whatever.  But there will be no punishment at home.

Ask her what happened and go from there.

butterbeansmama

ali-1411:

Well...I teach my son that you don't hurt people...blah blah blah. 

But he is absolutely allowed to defend himself.  If someone else hits him first then all bets are off.  Ask her what happened and go from there.

I completely agree.

Zenya

Did he 'let' you get her the glasses yet?