Anyone not excited AT ALL?

shadowfeet

I feel like such a rotten person for even posting this, but it would really help to hear that I am not the only one who has ever felt like this.

DH and I waited for what seems like forever to TTC and saved our money like crazy. We both wanted this baby so badly! But for some reason (probaby all the complications I've been having) I am not excited about this baby at all anymore. Nothing. Not an ounce of excitement. In fact, Im miserable and can't wait to get this little creature out of me! Anyone ever feel the same?

Oh jeez...I'm gonna get flamed, aren't I?

Lynette21638

I'm sorry that you've been having complications...that makes things hard to enjoy. Hopefully things will get better for you!

I would try to find someone to talk to about your feelings. Maybe DH...if not him, at least mention your feelings to your doc. Pregnancy depression happens...it's not all just postpartum.

Good luck!

Mrs.Kent

Is it maybe that you're not excited about just the pregnancy and not the actual baby?  Either way, once that little munchkin is born, you'll fall in love.  Don't beat yourself up!

mavilabride

I think that at some point throughout most people's pregnancies, they begin to think is this really what I want.  I had a moment like that a few weekends ago when we woke up at around noon on a Saturday and had pizza for breakfast.  I looked around and realized I won't be able to do that anymore for a long time.

I think you need to just ask yourself where are these feelings coming from.  Is it because you had a bad first trimester? Are you feeling down or neglected in other ways? Etc.

Don't kick yourself though.  The last thing to do when you are feeling down is to make yourself feel worse.  Just get to the root cause and deal with that.  I bet you'll find that the root cause has nothing to do with the baby.

peachypear

:: Looks at your ticker ::

Give it time. I went through a phase like that at the end of 1st tri. I had had it up to here with being pg. I just wanted the baby, not the pregnancy. But seriously, it gets better once you are feeling better, feeling the baby kick, see them on the u/s, and get serious about picking names and setting up the nursery. It starts to feel more and more real, and it gets very exciting.

orion09

there is a time during pregnancy where you won't "feel" as pregnant as earlier... i'm hoping thats the issue. When you feel the baby kick all of that could change.

I'm just shocked that after you TTC for apparently a decent amount of time that you wouldn't be excited about the process. Keep in mind that there are tons of women everywhere that cannot concieve and would give anything to be in your position. Maybe you should lurk on some other boards about women TTC, and those unfortunate women m/c due to complications. Do not take anything for granted, especially the process of your child's development. I'ma believer that your words have power....

alison1020

I think you feel this way b/c your hormones are raging and being pregnant is feeling as though you are on a constant emotional rollercoaster.  It's a lot to handle.  Once you get further along and have your ultrasounds, feel movement, etc I'm sure you'll become more excited.  GL and think positively!

Temp534591562502098

pg isn't exciting to me. Woohoo, I can't wait to not be able to bend over and pee my pants all the time! I mean, come on. Don't even get me started on L&D. WHY do people need to talk to me about this and freak me out? I keep envisioning that day when we can come home from the hospital and have our baby "for real" and start our lives with it. Thats what I'm excited about. 

I think the only fun part of being pg is creating a registry and fixing up the nursery.  I'm excited about buying the crib and all.

LoveEeyore

I don't know- I can't empathize, but I was pregnant (with DD) at the same time as a colleague and throughout her entire pregnancy she was miserable.  She hated being pregnant so much that it affected her attitude about the baby, but she's a great mom now- and went on to have another. 

I would consider discussing depression with your OB.  I am so not a doc, but if it is depression, you may be more prone to PPD, too, and if there's something she can do to help now you could possible get back to seeing this as the child you've wanted for so long.

Chrysallys

I have a hard time getting super excited because it took us so long to get here. Most of the time I'm wondering if we'll get a baby on the end of it. I think I'll be more excited as it gets closer and it seems more real that we are going to be successful.

NorBryDE

Like you, I was TTC for a while, a year for me, and had one mc.  So, with this pg, I'm freaking about everything which is not making it enjoyable.  I am waiting for the kicks, the bump, all good signs of a healthy and viable pg to move forward with.

You are definately not alone!!

mrspac

I'm sorry to hear that... don't beat yourself up on this... I definately don't think it's the baby you are not excited about. Just think about it.. when your little angel gets here you'll be even more grateful for what you are experienceing, becuz it'll be so worth it. I def think you should talk about it and don't keep those feelings balled up inside... you'll be surprised as to how feelings tend to fade by just voicing them... I'll be praying for you and DH...

Oh! One more thing... when you finall feel your baby move... it will bring so much joy

Jessied1982

Don't feel bad, I went through the same thing in the begining. I questioned if I wanted or could be a mother and heck I was ready to kick FI to the curb for no reason(just bc I questioned everything in my life). I should add being a mother is something I wanted more than anything in life. It took a couple of weeks but I snapped out of it.

2BWEDN2007

It must be due to the fact that there are complications. When I was pregnant with DS the reality of being pregnant hadn't even settled in yet before I started having issues due to an incompetent cervix. I ended up delivering at 24 weeks and was so stressed out between weeks 20-24 (when I actually started showing and feeling pregnant) that I didn't enjoy it at all.

This time around things are much different. We have a plan in place (cerclage) to prevent what happened last time and I am actually starting to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I am already starting to show since this is baby #2 and I am determined to enjoy this pregnancy 110% to make up for all the stress and lack of enjoyment I had the first time around.

I will also say that the reality of being a mother doesn't kick in right away (even after birth) it took me a few days for it to actually kick in once he was here, but as soon as you see that little face it will all be different.

donnycornelius

The most exciting moment of all is when the baby starts moving and you can feel it.   I love it.   I have been in a constant state of excitement since then...every little thing I feel is just so adorable. 

It's hard at the 15 week point, because you don't feel pregnant, but you've also dealt with morning sickness, food aversions, cramping/pain, sensitivity to smell....but you really haven't experienced any of the fun parts like finding ot the sex or feeling the baby move.  

Just give it time.   In the end, even if you hate every single moment of pregnancy, you'll love the end result once it's over. 

DarcyLongfellow

I think you're totally normal and I wouldn't stress about it.

First, I think a lot of women hate being pregnant.  They feel fat and uncomfortable and generally miserable.  That does not mean these women hate their babies -- they often can't wait for the baby to get there so they don't have to be pregnant any more!

Second, if you're having complications, then I think it's even more normal.  You thought pregnancy would be a joyous time, but instead you're having problems.

If you're worried, I'd mention something to your doctor, and possibly see a therapist.  But I really think it's normal. 

Jenn30

orion09:

I'm just shocked that after you TTC for apparently a decent amount of time that you wouldn't be excited about the process. Keep in mind that there are tons of women everywhere that cannot concieve and would give anything to be in your position. Maybe you should lurk on some other boards about women TTC, and those unfortunate women m/c due to complications. Do not take anything for granted, especially the process of your child's development. I'ma believer that your words have power....

Really, this comment is unnecessary.  Yes, we are incredibly fortunate to be pregnant, but that does not mean that it's all blissful and perfect for everyone and we're not supposed to talk about it if it's not.

OP--I agree that it's hard to tell if your ambivalence is around pregnancy, or around having a baby (not trying to criticize, just saying I'm not sure where you're coming from).  If it's the pregnancy, I agree that having complications and just feeling blah and hormonal, etc., could totally explain it, and this sounds like a very normal feeling to have.

If it's the baby, which it sounded like it might be--I think this is pretty normal too, just something that far fewer people admit.  Having a baby can be wonderful, but it can also be really hard physically and emotionally (lack of sleep, etc) and really tough on your marriage.  You lose a lot.  Feeling that is ok and I would even say it's healthy--better to go into this with an awareness of what you're giving up than not letting yourself think about it.

I agree that if you're feeling really down you should talk to your OB, and not be scared to bring this up.  Same goes for talking with your H about it if you aren't already.  Good luck.

Aprilynn0206

I went through this while I was dealing with ms. I remember crying dh at one point saying "why did I want this?!?" Plus having to adapt to what you can do.. what you can't do.. can be annoying. Once I started feeling better I wasn't miserable anymore- but I wasn't "excited either." After we found out we were having a girl I felt a little better. It wasn't until I felt her moving from outside my belly that I fell ?head over heels in LOVE with her and being pg. It's early- it will get better. If not- talk to your Dr... maybe it's not your fault that you feel this way.?