My DH and I: Embarrassing Question?

Mandy Ellsworth

I just have to know if this is normal.  I have never gotten DH from oral.  He just won't go.  I swear, I can be down there an hour.  My mouth and my neck will hurt like crazy.  He says he loves it, he just isn't able to do it.  I swear, with how much time I've invested, I can't be that bad at it.  I end up either going into it knowing I won't even try to get him, or I end up disappointed.  He said this is common, that his friend said he can't get there either from a BJ.  So, is this normal, or am I just bad at it?  I actually like doing it, but it sucks to not have anything but the word of a man that loves me enough to lie to me, to judge my skills.

jll1881

Yay for you for asking!  My DH said he never had an orgasm from a BJ before me.  And there are times now that it still won't happen for him.  I think part of the issue is that you both now have a sort of "performance anxiety" because of your past lack of success.  I don't think you're abnormal.

brandistrionfo@gmail.com

I am sure you're quite skilled at it. My DH never has either that I can remember. Maybe he just prefers your vag. To be blunt.:)

Bellisimo

I can, but it sounds like YH is just not wired that way.  Not that you're doing anything wrong...it's just his thing apparently.  I'm sure he quite enjoys and appreciates it though!  ;-)

shannynhall

It's totally normal. Just like a lot of women don't have an orgasm from oral. It used to be impossible for me to give him an orgasm that way, but now that we have a LOT less sex, it's a lot easier. So for a year there I thought I was doing something so very wrong. And for the past almost 5 years, it's been easy.

Roosky

I have friend who can't have an orgasm from a BJ but can with sex.  He said he loves it, but has never been able to finish....if that helps you out.  I'm sure you have mad skillz....don't worry my dear.

abizzzle

I don't have any advice because DH always does or we stop and do other stuff before he gets a chance... Same with previous partners... Buttt I would say if you and your DH are pretty honest with each other especially about sex stuff, than he wouldn't lie about it feeling good. So maybe it is completely normal.. I'm sure you got Bj skilllllzzz.

kash27

Sometimes my DH does and sometimes he doesn't.  Sometimes I volunteer to do it bc he doesn't go then I know I will get sex out of it - haha!

AlliVe

i think it is a mental thing, maybe holding back for the main event or something.  maybe just being super aware of what is going on and not relaxing enough to enjoy the moment. 

and good for you...my dh swears i never do it.  i don't mind it, i just don't really think to do it. is that bad??

Shannonfitz83@yahoo.com

When I saw your other post I had a feeling that was what you were thinking because I was too!  Don't feel bad... my DH and I have "been together" almost 8 years and I've only managed it once... and it was recently and in the shower...  don't ask what was different because I don't know!  I just blame my DH and his old bals... haha  He says he feels like he's wasting opportunities!  We still have a lot of time before our edd... but if it came down to it, I bet we can figure out a way.. w/o me being on my knees in the shower! 

BabyMamaErin

bran_flake09:

I am sure you're quite skilled at it. My DH never has either that I can remember. Maybe he just prefers your vag. To be blunt.:)

hahah this exactly! My DH has flat out told me he prefers sex.. and so do I, so who am I to complain? hehe

GigiFairy

Mine has only gone once and it was with lots of hand help and some of help from himself too. I do it and then we get to heated to not go for the real thing

Mandy Ellsworth

I'm glad I'm not completely odd.  DH is the only person I've ever done that for, and I'm the only one who has ever done it for him.  So out of the hundreds of times I've done it in 9 years, my score is 0.

riare12

I am so glad you posted this.  I don't 'bump' often but when I ran across this I had to reply.  My husband is the same way and he swears it's not me, it's him:)  So, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one in this boat. 

Sarahb34743

When we first started dating DH would POP with the thought of me giving him a BJ so it was totally easy for me to get him off. Now it seems like the only way he can climax is if he gives himself a hand while I'm down there. He says sex feels so much different than a BJ so it easier to climax but of course he LOVES a good BJ so he encourages me not to give up and keep practicing...LOL riiiight

htomeo

My DH says he has never gotten it from a BJ either. Sounds pretty normal. I wouldn't worry about your skills. I am sure you a spitfire at it.

reiljen00

It depends on the day with my DH.  He can, sometimes he can't.  I know he likes it though.  LOL.

heavenly29

I won't worry, DH dos but not every guy is the same. So no worries, i'm sure its not your skills. I learned by watching the videos when i was younger. . lol shameful i know.

vhab

If he didn't like what you were doing, I would think he would find a reason to have you not do it.

RichInLove

I think the important thing is if you are both okay with this outcome (or lack of). If it doesn't bother him that he can't get off from oral, then don't worry about it. They call it foreplay for a reason. BUT, if he is upset about it, then there are places you can turn to for techniques and advice.

skaplan000

I am sure you're quite skilled at it. ROTFL!!!!

 Im sure its just like how women can only get off certain ways. I can only have an orgasim if Im on top. I cant sit straight up I kind of have to press my belly on DH's belly which you could imagine is getting harder and harder to do! lol

jenerally

I MYSELF can't get off orally either, although I've never had a problem doing it to DH.

For me, it's just a "letting myself go" kind of thing.

Maybe ... kink it up? Tie him to the bed or blindfold him or something?

FutureNichols

Kudos to you!  Some men just can't get there just by an orgasm.  It took 13 years for DH and I.  When we first started fooling around in college, it would be hours and still nothing.  Then as time progressed (and helpful hints from my Aunt) I found some ways to get him to climax.  Still I know some friends who say their partners just can't orgasm that way.  Like mentioned earlier...he may just be a fan of your vag.  And there is nothing wrong with that :-)

I can share some of auntie's tips if you want to know.

LettLove

DH told me he never has with anybody and I didn't believe him at first because I've never known of anybody to be like that. But after many loooong sessions he just doesn't do it. Then he finally did with me once - me doing all the work from start to finish and only once more with his help. [I pride myself in thinking that his ex-wife couldn't do it but that I did just once] He says that he likes it but that it doesn't compare to having sex and he can't wait for the actual sex. I still do it and he still likes it but he just doesn't get there that way. No problem we just move on to bigger and better things after a few minutes of it 

KellyandKelly

Hahaha, you must be an amazing wife to like it, that's all I can say.  I'm sure you're good at it if you like it, that's probably a lot of what makes it for your husband regardless of whether you finish him off that way or some other way. 

Fish4Fun

Lol, I just had to ask DH's opinion on this thread.  All we can think of to ask is, are you ladies not using your hands at all?

harvestbride

Here's a good way to test. . .  After you have the baby, you have a 6 week wait.  Instead of having sex for the first time in 6 weeks, try the BJ.  Good luck!!!