Question for new moms...

DDK513

When you brought baby home (or after your home-birth, if you had one) did you have someone at home with you aside from DH to help out with meals or cleaning, etc...like your mother or MIL?

I almost feel like I'd want at least a day or 2 alone with just DH, baby and I, but is that unrealistic? Do you think we should plan to have one of our mothers around for a few days?

Also, when did you start having people over to meet the baby? 

 Thank you! 

JARbaby

My Mom lives with us, she was a Godsend.

However she let us be for a week after we got home because we did not want ANY visitors and I was very ill.

It was about 4 weeks before I wanted company. My BF came over at 2 weeks but I dont feel the need to clean up for her.

TheFannins729

we didn't have anyone else, but my mom is about an hour away and might come stay with us a few nights this week.

MrsG2B07

I didn't the first 3-4 days.  Not until DH went back to work.  He works nights and DD didn't sleep well at night so my mom came and stayed to help me around the house and cook meals.  She stayed for about a week and a half and it helped ALOT!

Alli3586

My mom stayed with us for a couple nights. It was so nice having her and DH both there. My mom helped clean and cook so DH and I were able to just spend time with our new bundle of joy.

I had visitors come right away and I really regret that. It was too overwhelming for me. I would suggest waiting 1-2 weeks at least before having visitors.

noimnotmarried

my mom also lives with us and has helped a lot.  SO went back to work today so she is making meals, bringing him to me when i'm sore (now i know why people say c/s sucks), etc.  when he wasn't working she was still very helpful.  she can reassure me in a way he can't, because she has had babies.  but ultimately it's up to you.

megs042107

my mom spent 3.5 days with us. ?she came over the day we got home from the hospital and it was a godsend. ?she helped us get on somewhat of a schedule, she cleaned, cooked, ironed, etc. ?it was a godsend. ?H and I had no idea what we were doing so it was nice to have a veteran mom in the house to whip us into shape!

laur1120

Our familes both live about 9 hours away.  My mom and dad came out and were here for the birth cause I was late and induced. They stayed until she was a week old and then my MIL came that day and stayed for 8 days. 

Honestly for me it was wonderful having them there. I had no idea what I was doing so it was nice to have help.  Also DH was sick when DD was born so he did not hold her the first week so he wouldn't get her sick. I would have gone crazy if my mom wasn't there.  Some people prefer no visitors- it's totally personally preference.  If they live close by, I would just have them on call and they can come stay if you need them.  Personally I will plan to do the same with child #2. 

MrsGMRMartin

No we had no one else stay with us.  We wanted time alone with the baby.  I gave birth Nov. 19th and people started coming over Thanksgiving day.

disbride061103

We didn't have anyone stay with us.  DH was home for 2 weeks.  My SIL came over every Thursday the entire time I was on maternity leave to help out.  It was wonderful to know that I would have help (or even time to nap) once a week. 

Both our families came over the day we brought DS home from the hospital.  We had about 10 people in our house all at once.  If I had to do it again, I would wait a day or two.  Or I would have the two families come at different times.  I was so overwhelmed by all the people, I burst into tears.  I'm sure it was just the hormones, but it was definitely too many people at once.

cajuncutie0169

My mom came down from Mississippi the day we got home with him and stayed for a week. At first I didn't want her here bc I wanted that first week to be just my DH, me and the baby, BUT having her here was wonderful! She really helped us out and I was able to really recover from my c/s.

Mjmksb04

We were home alone the first 3 days because our family lives out of the area, in some ways it would have been nice to have mom or MIL there so I could sleep but on the other hand it was so nice for us to "figure it out" on our own without anyone else giving us their two cents. So by the time people came to visit we knew what we were doing. My mom came when he was three days old for a 4 day visit and that was just fine.

sweetpea7628

My mom was there the very same day.  She was there to help but she did little help and did more just hanging out and playing with the baby when she wanted to.  DH was a bigger help than she was.  I probably could have done just fine without her there.  I would have liked to just have a few days with just DH and I.

LaurenL1976

I didn't want anyone over.

HUbby decided to invite our whole families over within 2 days of me getting home.  We kicked everyone out within 2 hours, since they were driving me crazy!

 

 

NewBlue

My mom stayed with us for 3 days.  She offered to do the same for my sister and my sis and her husband decided they really wanted to be alone as a family at first.  Well, after the first night they called mom.  It turns out, you can take care of the little one but you stop taking care of yourself.  My mom did loads of laundry, fed us and took one early morning feeding.  I was incredibly helpful.

DEW1027

my mother came for a week when we came home, she lives 2 hours away 

then my MIL came uninvited for 2 days...and basically didnt want to do anything but hold the baby, it was horribly annoying. we don't get along.

family visited 6 days after she was born

KarBear

My mom came for 2 weeks, and I cried when she left b/c she was so much help!

aldyn

I'm generally a pretty independent person; I didn't want anyone home with us when we first got home from the hospital.  In my mind, DH and I needed to establish our own routines as new parents on our own without unsolicited advice from others.  My MIL ended up spending a couple of nights with us a few days after we got back from the hospital, but she didn't help at all.

MayDayGirl

my DH had to work for 2 weeks before he had his scheduled vacation. my mom stayed the whole 2 weeks.  She did EVERYTHING! It was amazing... I hardly felt like she was there aside from her getting me lunch/dinner and cleaning! but she really let us be alone.

I couldn't get out of bed hardly for 2 weeks so it was a huge blessing.

robertsgrl

I had THOUGHT I would want a day or two with just DH and DS and I. So I told my mom (who was coming to stay with us for 2wks) to fly in the day after DS was born, not the day of. Well, I ended up having an emergency c-section, was an emotional wreck, and the post-partum nurses were real bitches. Now I wish she had flown in the day of so that she could've helped with DS and let me get some sleep and so that she could've been there to be my advocate in the hospital.

When I was pregnant, I pictured that DH and I would come home from the hospital with our little bundle of joy and cuddle and spend time with him and with each other. Truth be told, you're going to come home EXHAUSTED and SORE. My mom cooked all our meals, did our laundry, grocery shopping, cleaned the house, and even took turns with the baby. Truth be told, DH was just as tired as I was when we got home and he was a little overwhelmed that the baby needed to be fed every 2hrs around the clock.

If you have someone (a mother, sister, MIL) who will be a true help and not act like a guest or someone you feel obligated to entertain, then by all means ask them to come as soon as possible. But if you think your family will just want to hold the baby and not help you, or if you think they won't respect the boundaries and rules you set, then maybe wait a few days. HTH!
 

Nidubb

We did not have anyone for a week. and then my family came for a weekend.  His has been trickeling in they are further away.