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Parenting
Ugh...what do you tell a 13 yr old..........
that truely is beautiful, smart and funny.... when she tells you the girls hate her and the boys don't look at her??
My family friends daughter is having image issues. I will start off by saying she is STUNNING............ and perfect. She is a singer, dancer, super smart, and adores her family....truely is sweetheart.
I have been to dance recitals and family functions and have never seen her be cruel to anyone. She actually really goes out of her way to be nice to people even if they aren't nice to her.
She is everything that I would hope that Emilia when she gets to that age.
She called crying today to tell me she really wants me and the kids to be at her birthday party tonight because she can't take anymore people cancelling on her.
7 "popular girls" said they weren't coming and were trying to get other people to not come.
this kind of stuff keeps me up at night... it makes me really fear for my kids and their self esteem........
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Re: Ugh...what do you tell a 13 yr old..........
That is so hard. I'd be willing to bet it's jealousy from the girls who hate her, and the boys are intimidated by a beautiful girl. Tell her to hold her head high and be proud of herself. The rest of the people will come around eventually.
Hugs!
Ugggggggh. Girls are so vicious. I worry about how I'll handle it when it's my child who's crying to me about girls being mean to her. Remember being in the thick of it? It's your world and you have no perspective on what a small part of life it is.
I don't know what I'd say, other than relaying stories about how kids can be mean, and it happens to everyone at one point or another and it's not right, and how she's a great kid, etc.
OMG. I just teared up reading that. Like you, I am really afraid of letting my girls out into the world and having people be just downright mean to them. I struggled with self esteem my whole life and I'm trying really hard to get over that now because I don't want that to be the image my girls get from me.
As a side note, I want to kick in the teeth of those "popular girls."
Does she have any friends at all? Even if they aren't the popular ones????
?
The girls are jealous and the boys are intimidated. ?Seriously. ?You need to tell her that and make sure you tell her its the truth. ?
She needs to get one or two best friends that will be around for life & not worry about anything else. ??
Poor girl. ?:(
Just tell her that 13 is the absolute worst age and that every really awesome, beautiful girl goes through some kind of this and that it gets better when she finds her own niche really soon. ?Then go out and get her a spa pedicure or something really indulgent and grown up. ?
Tell her the truth, that even though it hurts now, this is a part of growing up & because of all of this "drama" she will find out who her true friends are & be a better person b/c of it. Tell her that she is beautiful & unfortunately some people are ugly (inside & sometimes out) & they take their insecurities out on others.
Michelle
That's horrible. It seems pretty obvious that the girls are jealous, but I'm not sure how you can make a 13 year old get it when they want to be accepted so badly.
I worry about DD's self esteem in the future as well.
I'd tell her what I tell my little sister, that they are all jealous and she may not understand it now but unfortunetly people are assholes and she doesn't need them in her life.
And also, that all she has to do is point them out and I will drop kick them.
that makes me so sad...
they're probably jealous- is she TOO outgoing? I mean WHY won't they like her? I hate that crap.
nobody liked me at that age, but it was because I was a weirdo...we moved to the suburbs and there was a BIG difference between the city kids and the hillbilly kids at my new school. they actually thought it was lame to wear two different colored chuck taylors- HA! That was awesome! it was not lame. But yeah. I was weird and they didn't like me as an adolescent.
She has a ton of cousins that go to school with here so she has a buffer.
I love her to pieces. She is just always so happy and everything but in the last few months has become this paranoid, low self esteem mess.
We ( her mom, me and my sister) have a girls day every month and we all hang out she just seems so much more mature for her age... I just feel horrible that she doesn't think she is "enough".
I'd tell her that people treat her that way for one reason only...THEY'RE JEALOUS!
And that although it is really hard to see now, this is only a short time in her life, and in the long run she is going to be so much better off and so much more successful than any of those people in the long run. Keep treating people with kindness and respect, and she will reap the benefits of it in the end. The only opinion about her that matters is her own, and if she feels she is a good person than she is.
"She is everything that I would hope that Emilia when she gets to that age. "Make sure to tell her this part! I would guess it would mean alot to her.
Also let her know that 13 does suck, but things will get better. I agree she should look for a few close friends rather than lots of friends. Could she babysit for you? This would help show how highly you think of her.
Ditto everyone else. The sad part is, she probably won't believe it. Wanting to be accepted is huge right now for that age and even if her family is telling her she's amazing, it does not matter unless the kids she thinks matter tell her too. Oh gawd - then throw boys in there. Seriously makes me cringe thinking back to the oh so NOT fun tween years.