Mat. leave (vent)

Jamers615

I'm so jealous of people getting such lovely maternity leaves....  I'm looking at a 2 week leave, barring any complications, c-section, etc., while DH will be staying home for an extended period of time.  Is it so wrong of me to be jealous?  I make a substantial amount more than he does, and I carry our insurance, not to mention he's been with his company for over a year and qualifies for FMLA, while I haven't.  And I work for a very small company with no written maternity leave policy (there are a whopping 6 females in our entire little company).  The most sensible solution is for me to be back at work ASAP after the baby is born. 

But a little part of me is being bratty and wanting to whine about it.

On the plus side, I have never seen a man so excited about being a SAHD, if only for a few months.  He's already asking me to make him lists of chores that he needs to do during the day and asking me to show him how I like laundry done and whatnot!  What a trooper!

/vent.

JessWhitaker

I also work for a small company with no formal maternity leave policy. My boss says she working on it, but can't promise anything "extra," I'm not sure what that means. Fortunately I work from home and my DH is a professor who will have the summer off. However, even though I work at home I want to take more than 2-3 weeks off to get adjusted. Is there anyway you can work extra hours before the baby is born and take off that amount of time after the baby arrives? Or could you possibly work from home for a few weeks? The one good thing about working for a small organziation is that they are more likely to be flexible.

mrsg052904

I understand your feelings.  It has to be hard to know that you want to stay home and can't.  Obviously, the good thing is - your husband can and is willing.  That's great.  My only suggestion is to try to save as much as possible for you to stay off longer... even if it means cutting out some things you enjoy now.  You'll appreciate the time off with your baby.  I plan on taking 4 1/2 months, which about 6-8 weeks of that will be UNPAID.  However, we knew this ahead of time and have been planning for it.  Good luck!

jetgrrrl

What kind of sick leave do you get? Most doctors won't even clear you to return to work that fast. If you wind up having a C-section there is no WAY you'll be medically cleared to return to work in two weeks.

Is there ANY way you can negotiate at least a month or two months? If there's no written policy, to me that means you should have some room for negotiation. And by the way, your health insurance should extend through your leave, regardless of how long it is.

 

HotDish!

I thinks it's normal to be sad and jealous, I would be. It will probably be even harder when you have to go back and leave your child and DH at home. I can tell you though, DH will have lots of days when he wishes that he was the one going out to work. Try your best to not be resentfull when you have to return to work.....it's a very normal emotion for those who have a spouse at home.

Michele16

Wow!  I am really sorry...are you sure you have to be employeed with the company for a certain amount of time in order to get the Family Leave Act?  I hop ethey are paying you a real lot because I am not sure I would work for a company that gave me 2 weeks maternity leave...

Jamers615

I know my company is willing to work with me, and if I could do my job from home I am 100% sure they would let me, but I really can't.  I work in customer service and have to be here in person to be able to physically see a machine when a customer calls about it, and lord knows I can't take the machines home, HAHA.  I get no sick time and only will have 6 days of vacation time saved at MOST (that's barring me not being able to get Saturday appointments thru the rest of the prgenancy)  I just started here, so I physically can't accrue any more time than that.  And yes, I know my health insurance should continue, however, I still have to pay for my part of it, and I cannot afford do pay that plus our regular bills and all the things this baby will need on DH's salary alone (I make almost twice as much as he does).  I'm pretty well stuck because without my paychecks, we can't live, haha.  I am trying to sock away as much as possible in savings in case there are complications and I can't get back as soon as I would like, but sooner than later that extra money we have needs to start purchasing baby essentials.  We have a TINY family and so I am definately not counting on anyone but us to get what we need.  Personally, I don't mind trying to rush myself back to work, but there's still a bit of jealousy when I know that some people get to stay home for so long!! 

It's my own fault for not having a job that I've put a decent amount of time in at!!  

lindeenwedding

Michele16:

are you sure you have to be employeed with the company for a certain amount of time in order to get the Family Leave Act? 

To qualify for FMLA you have to be with the company for one year, and have worked x amount of hours in that time. They also must have at least 50 employees within a 75 mile radius.

julygal

When I had DD I was teaching at a small private school.  Not only had I been there less than a year, but the school did not have enough employees for FMLA to apply.  I got 6 weeks off.  2 weeks of it was my sick leave, 1 week happened to be the school's spring break, and 3 weeks went unpaid.  My DH was in graduate school at the time, so my salary was it.  I asked the HR person if they could spread out my 3 weeks pay over the 6 weeks I was gone, so at least money didn't stop coming in just my pay checks were smaller (seemed easier to manage and less scary that way).  They gladly did that for me.  At the end of my 6 weeks leave, DH was done with his semester and got to play SAHD until my summer break began.  I was very envious of DH getting to take over and wished I had the 12 weeks my sister got.

Separate from envy and jealousy, I have to say it was difficult going back after 6 weeks.  You might want to consider taking a bit more time than 2 weeks. You can take some sick days on top of your vacation days accrued.  I understand why you can't do much more than the two weeks you have already settled on, but really remember that some of that time is spent in the hospital.  You will want time at home to adjust, heal (even from an easy vaginal delivery), etc.  Good luck.  It is hard making these decisions.

{tam*jan}

Wow..I have to say that I'm sure glad that I live in Canada. Our province pays me 60 % of my income for 52 weeks. If I go back to work it probably won't be until after the baby is 1 year old.

Jamers615

{tam*jan}:

Wow..I have to say that I'm sure glad that I live in Canada. Our province pays me 60 % of my income for 52 weeks. If I go back to work it probably won't be until after the baby is 1 year old.

I know where I'm moving now!!!

AngelaEsq

jetgrrrl:

What kind of sick leave do you get? Most doctors won't even clear you to return to work that fast. If you wind up having a C-section there is no WAY you'll be medically cleared to return to work in two weeks.

Is there ANY way you can negotiate at least a month or two months? If there's no written policy, to me that means you should have some room for negotiation. And by the way, your health insurance should extend through your leave, regardless of how long it is.

 

Seriously? I never heard of this. I went back to work 5 days after gastric bypass. Not to minimize birth, but that was serious surgery.

Leenie_89

I'm in the same boat, I'm using my 2 weeks vacation and going a month without my salary, possibly going back before 6 weeks depending on how much time H will be taking off to be a SAHD.

I'm bitterly jealous also, but we're doing the best we can.

GL!