XP from 1st Tri: telling the boss

jetgrrrl

I posted this on 1st but meant to post it here - apologies to anyone who already saw it

So, my boss is also pregnant (slightly behind me in fact). So far I have not told her about my status despite the fact that we've talked a good bit about her pregnancy. I have felt terrible not saying anything, but DH and I felt strongly about not telling people before the end of first tri - we haven't even told his family yet.

Here's the thing - all the stuff I've read on telling your boss advises you to go in with a plan of how you will train other people to do your work, etc. Well, we have a very small department, and in fact I bet that she planned on giving me a pretty major role in running things while SHE was on maternity leave (our leaves will at least partly coincide). Also, she is the person who would have picked up most of my slack while I was out. On top of this, I would like to propose that I go part time after I return, but that is not something I plan to broach now. About the only thing I could offer her is the possibility that I will work from home while on maternity leave, and considering I won't get a day more than the law requires, the idea of giving up what little I have makes me feel resentful.

So, I can't really offer her a plan for what to do with my role and I may well be taking away her own Plan B. It's also awkward that I have known about her pregnancy and haven't said anything about mine. I know that personally she'll be happy for me but it does create a major headache for her work-wise. Any advice on how to handle this conversation?

ejm

Would it be helpful to broach this with HR first? ?I don't think you should give up a minute of your maternity leave or even offer to sacrifice any baby time by working from home. ?Maybe if you discuss with HR to establish your rights that will make you feel a bit more secure. ?Later in the day sit down with boss lady and be honest: ?you didnt' tell her earlier because you were waiting, isn't this funny how you're pregnant together, etc. ?Then you can work together to get someone from another department or recruit a temp to cover your responsibilities while you're gone. ?Maybe your contribution to plan B is to offer up a few names of people ready for promotion or for a recruitment plan. ?GL!

mrsg052904

I am sure it may feel awkward being in your shoes, but you have every right to wait to tell her.  I would simply tell her your good news and say that you realize both of you will be out around the same time and you would be happy to work with her in advance to come up with a plan of action for the two of you being out.  I would NOT offer to work during your leave... UNLESS your leave is unpaid and they will be willing to pay you for the time that you work.  I think she will be happy for you and will appreciate you offering to help come up with a plan together.

MrsAO

Since you are apparently each other's backup, I think you should talk to her about it asap so that she has plenty of time to figure out how to make sure things are taken care of while both of you are out.

Tell her that ideally in this conversation you would discuss how to handle your workload but since you're both expecting, you realize the potential problems.  Don't offer to work during your maternity.  But ask her if there is anything you can do to help train or find someone to fill in.

cedens

i def would not work during my maternity unless it is unpaid and you will get paid for doing so- you have every right to be pregnant just like she does- so she will have to figure it out- not your problem!

i would tell her asap though, because she does need to plan for both of your leaves

don't feel bad at all!