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Just need to vent (NBR) Family...

MrsPreKMrsPreK
in 1st Trimester

Long story short my mom doesn't do well at paying her bills. Bounces checks all the time. My dad lives out of state and sends ME $$ to help her (he doesn't trust her with $$ for obvious reasons)...oh, AND THEY'RE MARRIED!!!!

Unfortunately it's not helping. Now he wants to me write out the checks FOR her bills. Ummm, I can't. She won't tell me what's due or she'll say she paid it, blah, blah, blah...

My next line of measure (or bargaining tool) is that he have them sent to me (the bills) OR I'm done helping him.

There is SO much more to this story that it's sickening. Anyways, I have a brother and a sister. They don't talk to her about $$ (she lies and changes the subject or will start crying, etc.) My sister deposits $$ into her account when she needs it and will then call me and say dad owes me x.xx when you get his check. 

My brother doesn't live near us and thinks the whole thing is comical. 

Ummm, yeah, foreclosure is comical (they're actually lost several properties in the past few years and last year almost their 100 acre farm and home ALL because no one realized she wasn't paying the bills until last year...) - hahahahahaha Indifferent

Anyways, he was supposed to visit this weekend and I emailed him yesterday to let him know what's going on. He basically laughed it off and then said, he wouldn't be coming to spend the weekend with the "Stupids" Ummm, EXCUSE ME??!!!

I lost it and emailed him back some pretty bad things. Bascially telling him to go f**ck himself. Now I feel bad but I'm under so much stress with this and my dad is no help and I can't not let her pay her bills, property taxes....

Sorry for such a long vent. I just needed to write it out. Thanks ladies...

If you made it this far - HAHAHAHAHA

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Re: Just need to vent (NBR) Family...

  • Conway714Conway714 member
    Wow that's awful! I can't even begin to offer you advice. I hope things get better!
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  • roxyuroxyu member
    INTERVENTION time.  I would seriously get them in counseling.  You are not responsible for your parents finances! By participating in paying bills and monitoring their bank account, you are enabling them to continue this charade.  Your Mom should be given a weekly stipend in cash and denied access to all bank accounts/credit cards.  Your father should handle his responsibilities-bills, finances, including your Mother.  Why should you be stressed and miserable because of your parent's irresponsibility? I know it's easier said than done, but you can't fix it no matter how hard you try.  They have to deal with their own mess!  GL to you!


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  • HeyyRedHeyyRed

    WOW. I'm so sorry to hear that this is your reality and that your father has dragged you in to be mommy's account manager.

    I think counseling is DEFINITELY in order.

    Umm why can't dad take care of all of this from out of state? He could easily have the bills sent to him directly?

    ?

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  • thatgirlangthatgirlang
    Wow. I don't really know what to say! I can't really imagine that... you should not have to take such responsibility for your MOM. Tongue Tied

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  • wildridewildride

    I guess it's beyond autodeduct, huh? ?why isn't your dad in charge of the bill paying if they're married? ?that's so unfair to you. ?kind of you to be willing to do it... but with online banking, i don't see why he can't do it from afar. ?HE is the one who said for better or for worse!!

    ?

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  • BeeLoveBeeLove
    You need a hug.  Families are a mess.  Everyone has to deal with some shiit. :( Sorry girl.
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  • MrsPreKMrsPreK

    TY - I needed a good cyber hug this morning =)

    Like I said, there is more to the story, MORE than I could possibly type out. We've done the intervention thing to say the least, but it's also hard when your dad lives/works of state and makes excuses.

    Anyways, I just needed a good hug =) So, TY!!

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  • hsmhsm

    (((HUGS)))

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Please think long and hard about putting the bills in your name. If for some reason they go into default, it would affect your credit.

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  • LeelaHLeelaH

    Oh man that sucks for you!  I know you're not responsible for your parents' finances but it's hard to just turn your back on them.  I hope the situation somehow gets better.

     

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  • thairathaira

    (I slightly understand the caos...my ILs just got divorced for the third time from eachother and still live together...they cant decide if they want to be together or not??? Nice role models...)

    Anyways if they are married still your dad should have her bills mailed to him!!

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  • MrsPreKMrsPreK
    imagehsm:

    (((HUGS)))

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Please think long and hard about putting the bills in your name. If for some reason they go into default, it would affect your credit.

    I mistyped...sorry. The bills wouldn't be in my name...just sent to me and I would pay them...

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  • hsmhsm
    imageMrsPreK:
    imagehsm:

    (((HUGS)))

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Please think long and hard about putting the bills in your name. If for some reason they go into default, it would affect your credit.

    I mistyped...sorry. The bills wouldn't be in my name...just sent to me and I would pay them...


    Oh good. I tend to worry about everything. That seems like a better solution. It must be very tough on you.  

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  • MrsLeslie030405MrsLeslie030405
    Wow that is pretty sh!ty! ?Can your Dad set up auto pay online and manage it that way since she isn't responsible? ?It sucks that that stress has to fall on you as if you don't have enough?responsibilities!
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  • MrsPreKMrsPreK

    imageMrsLeslie030405:
    Wow that is pretty sh!ty!  Can your Dad set up auto pay online and manage it that way since she isn't responsible?  It sucks that that stress has to fall on you as if you don't have enough responsibilities!

    OMG!!! I wish!!

    A convo with my dad is enough to pull you freak'n hair out. 

    Another part of the story...he doesn't have internet access (which I believe. He's not a liar, just stupid and wanting nothing to do with our family - yet neither one will divorce one another)

    I told him to go to the local library and have someone help him set up an account. The nearest library is 30 miles away...again, not lying...he lives in MT - middle of nowhere (with his mistress that no one but me will mention)...

    When he's not in MT he travels for work (welder/pipefitter..) so he's on the rd 90% of the time. No cell phone - well, he has a tracfone which he barely knows how to work =/

    He doesn't have a clue when it comes to electronic bill paying and has bank accounts set up everywhere.

    Example...He opens them whenever he works someplace new because his type of work does not do direct deposit...

    He recently opened up a Wells Fargo account thinking he'd be good - they are everywhere....

    Nope. Not in his current place of employment. The nearest one is about an hour away.

    Oh...ladies...TY for letting me vent. I could go on, and on, and on.

    It's just ONE OF THOSE DAYS =/

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