Something I haven't seen discussed

jenifairies

Child abuse. I recently found out that someone I know molested his brothers and sisters when they were kids and it makes me doubly paranoid about leaving my child alone with anyone. How can you really know who to trust? I have known this person my whole life, and never would have suspected anything.

I have a feeling I will be an overprotective mother.

punkfiction

you have to make the best informed decisions possible. you can't keep them in a bubble their whole lives. its hard bc something like that happened to someone you know, but that doesn't mean you can never trust anyone.

MandC17

Yeah, that scares me too. When you hear about it people always say "I knew him/her all my life, I just can't believe that he/she was the type to do that."  So it could be anybody. It's really scary.

lanie26

You're more likely to experience abuse from a relative or close friend than anyone else.

mamamoos

page hippy.  she actually posted polls on 0-6 and 6+ last week.

ABMcKinney

This terrifies me. We recently found out that my DH's cousin had been molested by his grandfather (who is NOT related to my DH) for many years. The boy is 10 now, and this had been going on since he was at least 5. His father is a detective on the local police force and had no idea this was going on. It just made me wonder..... how well do you really know anyone??? Robbie won't be allowed to spend the night with anyone I don't know until he's old enough/comfortable enough to communicate with us. He is also not going to be spending any significant amount of alone time with any family members besides my MIL and SIL.

racegirl723

I read a news article online about a 19 year old babysitter putting a 5 month old baby in the dryer and turning it on b/c the baby cried too much.  The baby died.  After reading that I am convinced no one but family or close friends will watch DS and I even babysat as a teenager.  Scary stuff!!

jenifairies

lanie26:

You're more likely to experience abuse from a relative or close friend than anyone else.

Yup, that's my point. It's scary.

And i don't plan on keeping her in a bubble by any means. But I am really selective about who babysits, and I'm not letting her sleep out anywhere until she's old enough to talk.

Crystal&Jason Murphy

It's something as a parent that you will have to have the conversation very young with your children. My mother always told me that no one was aloud to touch my "private spots" and if anyone did that I was to tell my Mom right away. And My step father crossed that line with me and I told My Mom right away and she believed me and left my father because of what he did. You have to have open communication from the start. My mom started that with me and every day she would ask me if there was anyone who touched me wrong. I think because my Mother was abused as well as a child so she wanted the door to be open for me. I will be open and tell my children the same and let them know not to fear anything for telling me. It's a scary thing to think of

Mominator

I can pretty much guarantee that my children will never be babysat by no one other than my immediate family. I was molested as a child by my babysitter (male) and his Mom and my Mom were best friends. I'm a psychotic overprotective Mom because of this.

S&D_2005

racegirl723:

I read a news article online about a 19 year old babysitter putting a 5 month old baby in the dryer and turning it on b/c the baby cried too much.  The baby died.  After reading that I am convinced no one but family or close friends will watch DS and I even babysat as a teenager.  Scary stuff!!

This just made me cry. How can someone do something like that? That is so so sad. 

jenifairies

Mominator:

I can pretty much guarantee that my children will never be babysat by no one other than my immediate family. I was molested as a child by my babysitter (male) and his Mom and my Mom were best friends. I'm a psychotic overprotective Mom because of this.

My mom was molested (raped) by her brother and her sister's husband. She let my grandma and one cousin babysit us. That was it. I can't believe how many sick fvcks there are out there.

BetchySprout

I have the dubious "honor" of having 3 former friends in prison for child molestation or porn. All were friends or acquaintences at the time. One was the roomate of one of my best friends...we found out one day he had been videotaping himself abusing boys from his church. Another was picked up after he brought his computer in to Best Buy for repairs, they found kiddy porn on his computer and they have to report it. The third was the most shocking, a teacher I worked with , a guy my age who I hung out with on occasion, was busted for having and selling over FIVE THOUSAND HOURS of child porn out of his mothers (our incredibly sweet and wonderful school librarian) condo.

 

My point? I don't trust anyone. None of these people know each other at all, either, and we lived in the same city.

Sept_Bride'07

racegirl723:

I read a news article online about a 19 year old babysitter putting a 5 month old baby in the dryer and turning it on b/c the baby cried too much.  The baby died. 

i read that one too.  so very sad.    it said she put the baby in there for 3 minutes (or some - in her mind - small amount of time) as "punishment" for interrupting her tv.  seriously.  how very sad.

happilyhis

ABMcKinney:

Robbie won't be allowed to spend the night with anyone I don't know until he's old enough/comfortable enough to communicate with us. He is also not going to be spending any significant amount of alone time with any family members besides my MIL and SIL.

Good strategy - waiting until he is old enough to communicate before leaving him overnight. Also, my parents would always watch for changes in my behavior after spending significant time with anyone. They could even tell which of my friends had bad attitudes because I would come home being smart at the mouth. lol but really, even if kids don't say that something happened, changes in behavior can be a big clue.

Califlorida

just be open with your kid. make sure they feel 100% safe telling you anything. no judgements. a big thing for me is to never make dd hug or kiss anyone, relatives included. i need her to develop her own radar about people. and obviously if you have any gut instinct question about a person then you are probably right.

and i can't believe that story about the 5 mo old. it's gotten really difficult to hear these things now that i am a mom. i struggle to comprehend how  people can hurt children. it makes no sense to me.

femmeftle9

racegirl723:

I read a news article online about a 19 year old babysitter putting a 5 month old baby in the dryer and turning it on b/c the baby cried too much.  The baby died.  After reading that I am convinced no one but family or close friends will watch DS and I even babysat as a teenager.  Scary stuff!!

It is beyond me how anyone could possibly do this to someone. Things like this make me sick.